


A Subtle Shift

by rabblescum



Category: AUSTEN Jane - Works, Mansfield Park - Jane Austen, Persuasion - Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen, Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Rewrite, F/F, F/M, Rare Pairings, Remix
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-26
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:21:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 74,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26116381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rabblescum/pseuds/rabblescum
Summary: When the house in Camden Place has a delay in availability, Sir Walter and Elizabeth opt for a visit to his other Elliot nephew. The same Elliot and his Lady whose cottage near Dartford, Robert Ferrars spoke so highly of.  This tale follows the train of consequences of two of Ms. Austen's more unlikeable characters finding a kindred spirit in each other. Many larger changes for our beloved favorites come from this one meeting.A crossover fiction covering characters from Persuasion,  Sense and Sensibility, Mansfield Park, and Pride and Prejudice.
Relationships: Anne Elliot/Colonel Brandon, Elizabeth Bennet/Fitzwilliam Darcy, Elizabeth Elliot/Robert Ferrars, Fanny Price/Henry Crawford, Jane Bennet/Tom Bertram, Lucy Steele/William Collins, Marianne Dashwood/James Benwick
Comments: 294
Kudos: 79





	1. In a Cottage

Chapter One: In a Cottage

**_“Sir Walter would quit Kellynch Hall; and after a very few days more of doubt and indecision, the great question of where he should go was settled, and the first outline of this important change was made out. There had been three alternatives,--London, Bath, or another house in the country.” Chapter 2, Persuasion_ **

For all of her disappointment at leaving the area and dislike of Bath, Anne was glad a residence had finally been settled on. Mr. Shepard, her father’s steward, was able to arrange for a house in Camden Place. An address that suited Sir Walter and her sister Elizabeth’s sense of dignity and importance. Kellynch hall had been rented to Admiral Croft and his wife. All details were finalized for the Crofts to take possession at Michaelmas. It seemed like a cruel joke to Ann. First, her father’s debts and frivolous spending demanded she leave her home. Now for it to be rented to Fredrick’s sister of all people. It was hard to think that Fredrick might soon be walking the very halls she had spent her childhood in. Staying in rooms he may have visited had she not had to break off their engagement. She tried her best not to think of it, to let the relief that came with knowing her families towering debts were being addressed become her consolation and main focus.

“This shall NOT be born! Do they not understand to whom they are dealing with!” Anne heard her Father’s sharp voice as she approached the Library. She entered along with Lady Russel to find Sir Walter and Elizabeth standing with Mr. Shepard and his daughter Mrs. Clay. 

“Whatever has happened?” Lady Russel asked as she rushed to their side. 

Elizabeth jumped in to explain “The house in Camden has had a delay in the preparation, a small fire, it will not be ready for several weeks past when we are to hand over possession of Kellynch.”

“I will not be seen to be staying for weeks in a Roadside inn like some traveling vagabond. It is ridiculous. A Baronet must be seen to live as a Baronet.” Sir Walter fumed.

Anne’s mind spun trying to avert the disaster she saw rising. It had been a battle to get her family to agree to take any responsible action. If her father and Elizabeth changed their minds, breaching the contract for lease, or worse stomped off to London in a fit, it would more than triple their expense projections compared to Bath. She blurted out the first words to come to mind “what about paying visits between now and your possession.” 

She immediately felt foolish, remembering that their family situation left few options for such visits. Mary had not the room to house them all, and to visit a daughter only three miles away, would be seen as the homelessness it was. Her cousin the presumptive heir had been cut from their notice over a breach when he married and could not be acknowledged. Their next closest relatives who were of a social standing Sir Walter deemed worthy of him were the Derymples, and they were also no longer speaking to them over an accidental slight. While this may be mended eventually, Anne knew there wasn’t time now. Sir Walter had no friends to speak of, Elizabeth either.

“What about your Nephew James? You spoke last month about the lovely thank you letter and invitation to visit he sent you following your acknowledgements on his wedding?” Lady Russell made it through the same mental calculations Anne had, only faster.

Anne remembered James Elliot’s letter telling of the humble yet spacious “cottage” he and his new wife had settled in near Dartford. James Walter Elliot was the only other Great-grandson of the Second Sir Walter, and next in line for the role of heir presumptive should William Walter Elliot fail to produce a son. With it being unlikely he would inherit the baronetcy her father had never kept a close relationship with him or risked him being around to “have designs on his dear Elizabeth.” With his recent marriage to the only daughter of a Knight with a reasonable inheritance, he was more worthy of notice of Sir Walter and of no danger to his Elizabeth.

“But a cottage...what would people say.” Sir Walter seemed to be at least considering it.

Mrs. Clay and her ability to say just what the elder Elliots wanted to hear once again seemed to steer him. “They will see it just as it is, a Respectable Family Head humbling himself to pay a necessary visit of notice. They will see you doing your duty despite the discomfort that it may afford you.” 

Anne would have been thankful to Mrs. Clay, if she was not so disturbed by the control she seemed to exhibit over her father. Despite Anne’s discomfort at this show of manipulation, it seemed to be working. 

“You are absolutely right, a Baronet must be seen to do his duty by his family. I shall write to James and see if a visit during this time frame would suit, and whether he can accommodate myself, Elizabeth and Mrs. Clay” Sir Walter returned. Anne and Lady Russel let out a breath they did not seem to realize they had been holding. Though Lady Russell’s brow seemed to furrow with the idea of Anne still being excluded from their travels, even with a family visit to be paid. Anne merely shook her head at Lady Russell, a silent but clear “it is of no concern” being conveyed. 

Letters were sent off to Dartford and preparations continued to hand over Kellynch. Anne tried to focus on the tasks necessary without worry of what a refusal would mean for the family. Within a fortnight it was resolved to her relief. “Dear Cousin James,” as Elizabeth had taken to calling him, would be glad to host them at Windshale Cottage. His letter arrived full of flattering paragraphs of what it would mean to him to have them visit, and the honor it would bring the neighborhood. It included reassurances that his cottage was one in name only, being closer to a gentleman's residence with multiple visitor rooms. Which worked to their advantage as James already had a school friend staying with him. 

Anne was able to see her father and sister off to Dartford several days prior to her own departure for Uppercross. She wished them the best and hoped they could manage to get along with their relatives and remember their lack of options until the residence in Camden Place was ready for them. 

* * *

**_“Some people imagine that there can be no accommodations, no space, in a cottage; but this is all a mistake. I was last month at my friend Elliot’s, near Dartford. Lady Elliot wished to give a dance. ‘ But how can it be done?’ said she.” Chapter 36, Sense and Sensibility_ **

By November Anne had come to convince herself that no news was good news. She had yet to hear from her sister or father other than a single note telling her of their arrival in Dartford and the horrible conditions of the roads. Since her arrival in Uppercross she had more than enough of her own to focus on. The weeks watching Fredrick Wentworth bask in the attention of the young Musgrove girls was beginning to wear on her. Anne had reconciled herself to the idea that he had moved on, even though she had not. She was prepared to hear of his attachment and even marriage to another, but she had not expected to have to watch him courting the women in question. She needed only make it through one last trip to Lyme and then Lady Russell would come take her back to Kellynch village to stay with her. Then it would be a short few weeks before she would meet her Father in Bath. 

A letter arrived before Anne was to leave for Lyme that upset this plan. She and Mary each received a letter from Elizabeth. Being the first to reach the breakfast table most mornings she was able to read hers first. 

_My dearest sister,_

_I write to you with the most delightful news. I am to be married in two months time. I know January is a dreadful time to marry, but I loathe the idea of having to wait until spring. I know this must come as a great shock to you, I truly meant to write sooner but have been swept away with the wonderful care shown to us by dear Cousin James and Susan. It is really Cousin Susan who is to thank for these wonderful events. Despite Windshale Cottage being fairly modest, Cousin Susan, forgive me Lady Elliot to you as you have yet to be introduced, decided to give a dance in our honor the week after we arrived. The welcome we received from our dear cousins was barely second to that we received from Mr. Robert Ferrars, James’ school friend. He was perfectly necessary and so helpful to Cousin Susan in arranging for our dance, and was the honored guest of our host so I of course owed him opening the dance and my dinner set when he requested it._

_Let me tell you, I have never met a man whose ideas were so correct and manners so pleasing. To see him with Father Mrs. Clay says “is like to see a father with his son.” Mr. Ferrars having lost his own father, he understands the value of a man like ours. In the weeks since the dance he and I have come to a mutual understanding. He is a man of rank and respectable fortune, despite being a younger son. His brother inherits, as is correct, but a portion has been properly reserved for him. He also hinted that as the first to marry his mother may wish to convey a larger portion. He has no title of his own, but Father feels with his connections and grace he could be elevated of his own accord. It also does not hurt for one's husband to know who is the one bestowing honor into a marriage. Our children will still be the grandsons of a Baronet._

_We were originally considering marrying from London, but as father is obligated to a house in Bath, gaining a house in London would be difficult. Knowing the crowding of Bath come January, we did not wish to marry from Bath. So Robert's sister has kindly offered us the use of her husband's estate in Sussex. Our wedding will be held at Norland park the second week of January._

_I am sure you can arrange to travel with either Mary or Lady Russell. Mrs. Clay will be traveling with us first to London, for a short visit to meet his family and to gather my wedding clothes, and then to Norland with us. As she is the one doing all the work it only seems fair she be the one to stand up with me. I look forward to you and Sister Mary meeting your wonderful new Brother._

_Yours etc._

_Elizabeth Elliot_

“Ugg Mrs. CLAY as a bridesmaid, how tacky. When she has two sisters of her own. I mean I am sure she would have asked me had I been unmarried, but it is a slight to you. A younger son as well, well not all of us can be the wife of an heir.” Sitting silent for some time, struck by her own letter Anne had not heard Mary enter the room nor pick up her letter. Though Mary did pose a good point, the fact that Elizabeth was settling for a younger son was surprising. Anne was not oblivious to what her and Elizabeth’s advanced ages meant to society, but to get Elizabeth to acknowledge it was previously impossible. So for her to give up social climbing and marry someone less than a Baronet himself, this Mr. Ferrars must be quite impressive. Well at least in the way that Elizabeth would be impressed. Contemplating exactly the type of personality that would impress Elizabeth to that degree had Anne shudder. It was a little alarming imagining her new brother-in-law.

It appeared Lyme would not be a last trip before heading to Kellynch village, but a last trip prior to leaving for Sussex. She would need to write to Lady Russell and further suss out Mary’s plans to see with whom she could make such a journey. Hopefully one of them could accommodate her, as her father would not. 

* * *

Fanny Dashwood was not happy. When her brother first told her of his engagement to the daughter of a Baronet she had been ecstatic. Now annoyance after annoyance seemed to be piling on, diminishing her happiness in it. She had just arrived in London when Robert brought the news. Her ideas of a wonderful wedding in town were immediately quashed by the knowledge that the bride would not be bringing anything to the marriage but her rank. Her father's grand estate was entailed to a distant male line, and currently lent out to tenants. His fortune was currently tied to his debt, so anything she received from him would not be until his death. While Miss Elliot’s standing and family name was enough to keep Robert in their mother’s graces, this did not extend to a place in town for them to stay. It would be seen as odd for his family to house them in London, where accommodations were rampant. That was only overlooked at country estates where no other respectable dwellings were at hand. So to avoid a wedding in Bath where Elizabeth’s father had housing, Fanny’s mother suggested she and John host it at Norland Park. So Fanny was to return and open Norland a week after leaving it for the season.

Having the wedding at Norland Park had originally appealed to Fanny as a way to show off her and John’s good fortune. She began in her regular correspondence to prepare their common acquaintance and family connections for the need to travel for the wedding. As soon as the engagement had been announced, she told everyone of it. This is where the minor annoyance finally became true frustration. It appeared that everyone assumed they still housed Mrs. Dashwood and her daughters. Several of John’s connections seemed to look forward to meeting his step mother as her morning would be up around the time of the wedding. This presented a problem for Fanny, how to explain that her husband's sisters and stepmother had chosen to live with a distant relative instead of with their brother. There was no way to spin it that at least some would not try to make it her and John’s fault. The only way would be to avoid the conversation entirely. The only way she could think of would be to have them at the wedding. No one would ask how long they had been guests if they thought they never left.

Having the Dashwood woman to stay would remove another of her annoyances. She had nothing but difficulties with the staff of Norland since the Dashwoods departure. She needed Norland to be seen at its best, and maybe the presence of their former mistress would speed along their compliance. It galled her to have her brother Edward back under the same roof as John’s social climbing sister, but it could not be helped. Fanny and her mother would just have to do their best to keep them separate.

Fanny looked up from her letters to find her husband luckily still in the room “John dear, what do you think about having your step mother and sisters to visit while we prepare for the wedding? I know your promise to your father worries you, and the wedding would be a prime chance for the girls to be introduced around. Not to stay past the wedding obviously, but just to pass the season?”

John Dashwood, taking her lead as always, responded “What a kind offer my dear, I am sure they would love to visit Norland. Do you wish to ask when you write to them or should I send a note.”

Fanny smiled reassuring him “I think they would be glad to hear from you this time.” It would appear even her own husband held the delusion she remained in contact with the Dashwoods. Fanny resisted the urge to growl out her frustration. 

* * *

Elinor awoke hearing someone moving around the kitchen. Worried it was Margaret up from a nightmare she went down to the kitchen. She instead found Mrs. Dashwood sitting at the table with her letters. She had seen the girls off to bed many hours before and sat at the worn polished table with papers before her as if it were a lady’s desk. The only light was that cast by the basked fire beside her, she had not even allowed herself a candle. Elinor worried what had her usually serene mother up so late, and feeling so prudent to forsake a candle.

“What is it Mama?” Elinor asked as she placed a kettle over the low coals to heat.

Mrs. Dashwood seemed reluctant to share. After a pause she gave up once again confiding in Elinor “Your brother John has written to me. It appears they will be hosting a wedding for Fanny’s brother in January.” Seeing Elinor stiffen she corrected “oh dear, not Edward. Her other brother, the younger.”

Elinor composed herself and asked “What of this news has you awake at this hour?”

“Your brother has asked us to come and stay, a fortnight from now until after the wedding. He hints around wishing to do ‘something’ for you girls, also that he fears Fanny is feeling overwhelmed and could use an experienced hostess to guide her.” Mrs. Dashwood smiled as a slightly unladylike sort escaped from the usually reserved Elinor. “What has me concerned is placing you and your sister back in that house with the indignity of Fanny and John’s treatment of you. Though it will put you back with Edward. However, I also believe that it will cost you the chance to spend a season in London. Mrs. Jennings has been hinting at wanting the company of you elder girls for the winter. So I am placed with choosing between your chance to be with Edward and Marianne’s to be with Willoughby.”

Elinor braced herself with a deep breath before speaking. Knowing that she could not share with her Mother the news she had recently received from Lucy Steele of her secret engagement to Edward she still wished to deter her. “I think you are putting the wrong issue to the forefront. I know you wish to see me and Edward together, but I have told you that I do not believe he is at liberty to marry as he would wish.” There that was vague enough to allow her mother to still think it was his mother’s wishes keeping him, not his own youthful imprudence. She took an even deeper breath and continued, knowing this would be the tougher conversation “I also do not think that the issue of Marianne and Willoughby is something so simple that it may be remedied by a trip to London. I know you have every faith in him, and a blind person could see their love, but I fear that there is much more going on than what we are privy to. If it was just getting her to where he was I think he would have written by now to ask her if she could make her way to someone to visit, or sought the help of Sir John.”

“Do you not think that maybe that is what drives Mrs. Jennings hints.” Her mother looked at her hopefully. Still refusing to believe there was anything untold to Willoughby’s swift departure.

“No, Mama I do not. Were that the case Mrs. Jennings would do more than hint, she is incapable of a secret or surprise such as that. I think it is no more than the same hope that drives you.” Elinor sat down with the tea she had made them. 

Mrs. Dashwood looked stricken at the sight of her daughter making tea in a kitchen. A harsh reminder of how much their situation had changed. “So what then, do you think the issue at hand is?”

“Whether you think John is sincere in his intention of doing something for us. Also whether you can bear to be back under Fanny’s roof. Also can you be asked to do the work of Mistress of Norland while given none of the rights of Mistress. If John does mean to do something for us it might do more for Marianne and her ability to marry where she wished, than a year in London would.” Elinor watched her mother’s expression become more resigned as she came to see the possibilities.

“You are probably right my dear, but then you always are. John suggested we could travel to him via post to Lyme, then on to Portsmouth and he could send for us from there. I am sure Sir John will allow us his carriage until the Post route. I will write in the morning accepting his invitation and letting him know to make the arrangements.” Resigned, Mrs. Dashwood finished her tea and stood to retire. 

“Though it may be best to not mention to Marianne that London was ever an alternative option. She is not going to like returning to Fanny and John’s company as it is.” Elinor suggested. Her mother just smiled and kissed her good night. 

Now Elinor was the one left to ponder the future from the kitchen with cold tea. She sincerely hoped John meant to follow through on his promise. Keeping Mama and Marianne polite to Fanny was going to be a trial. Almost as painful as the barbs she would have to field from Edward’s family. She could scream for the situation he had placed her in. She was to suffer as his unapproved fiancé without ever reaping the rewards of it. There was nothing to be done about that though, not unless she wished to break a confidence and out Edward and Lucy’s engagement. She would suffer through worse than rude comments to see their fortunes rise enough to allow her sisters and mother have security. It would be nice to see Norland again as well, to see how her favorites among the staff were fairing under Fanny’s regime. She had also heard Lyme was lovely this time of year and not too crowded. So it was the small joys she would have to cling to.


	2. To Lyme They Were to Go

Chapter Two: To Lyme they were to go

Elinor was glad for the silence of the post carriage. The last few days had enough sound and bustle for a lifetime. It started with poor Mrs. Jennings, the woman once again putting her foot in it. She offered her sadness at their being away for the season by telling Marianne about her wish to have the girls in London. Convincing Marianne she could not travel with Mrs. Jennings to London while the rest of the family went to Norland had been painful. It only got worse when Mrs. Dashwood did something she had never done before and snapped at Marianne, telling her she was being selfish. The two had barely spoken to each other since, both hurt and ashamed in turns. Margaret having never seen them fight in such a way was keeping rather quiet herself. Elinor hoped by the time they reached the end of the first leg of their journey in Lyme everyone would have calmed and become resigned to the trip at hand.

Awaking with a jar Elinor realized they had stopped. She must have drifted off to sleep, surprised that the silence had lasted the entire trip. Marianne was known for her silent sulks but it was very unlike her mother to remain so quiet. Being closest to the door, the footman at the inn helped Elinor out first. The footman was a young man just past his boyhood, a little small for the job, but it was the off season. She stepped toward the inn to check on their arrangements but stopped at hearing her mother's gasp. Turning Elinor found her mother swaying as she began to collapse, with only the young footman present to catch her. A task he was quickly failing at. Turning to rush back to her mother’s side she found a gentleman walking down the street had beaten her to it. Glancing quickly around and noticing no men of the party and no help to be had he muttered a quick “pardon me Ma’am '' before sweeping her up to carry her inside. Elinor stepped aside allowing him to pass as Marianne rushed directly behind, her upset with her mother forgotten. 

Elinor reached the inside of the inn to the gentleman already explaining to the innkeeper in a scolding tone. “Your post arrival has collapsed on your doorstep, without any proper help available. She is burning up, I recommend having her carried to her room by an actual footman and the physician called immediately.”

Elinor was momentarily struck by the similarity to the day Willoughby had arrived in their lives carrying Marianne. Too bad this young man was far from the age of someone to sweep her mother from her feet in the same way. After her mother was handed off to the staff of the inn to carry to their room Elinor paused turning to her mother's “preserver”. “Thank you Sir, I don’t know what we would have done had you not been here.”

“I am sorry that my help should have been needed, but glad to have given it Miss…..” He paused 

“Miss Dashwood” she supplied. 

“Well Miss Dashwood '' He paused again noticing the lack of a male travel companion “as I said I was glad to be of service, should you need any further assistance I am Captain James Benwick, I reside here in town with the Harville’s. Do not hesitate to send word with the innkeeper should you need anything.” 

Bowing he took his leave and Elinor rushed toward the stairs of the inn and to her mother’s side. 

* * *

The next day found Marianne and Margaret walking along the shore and cobb. The physician had come last night and once again this morning, assuring them that her mother would be fine in time. She had a fever but her lungs were clear and showed no sign of infection, she only had a sore throat and headache. She was now resting with Elinor to look after her. Elinor seeing Marianne’s restlessness sent them out to walk. Marianne felt a tug at her elbow. 

“Marianne, it is HIM.” Confused having been shaken once again from thoughts of Willoughby, she looked to where Margaret pointed. Seeing the young man with the sad eyes that had helped her mother. He was sitting on a bench, Captain’s hat in hand staring out to sea. 

“Captain Benwick, Margaret. Elinor said that was his name.” Marianne responded, taking Margaret’s arm so she could no longer point and continuing forward. 

“Good Morning Captain” Marianne stopped cautiously at the end of the bench he sat at. 

He looked up startled, having not seen them approach in his reverie. He quickly gained his feet, with a bashful smile. “So sorry, good morning Miss Dashwoods.” 

Before he could continue Margaret broke in “Marianne, might I walk ahead for a bit I think I see some quartz?” 

Without an answer Margaret slipped away with a nod to Benwick, feeling very smug at slipping in her sister's name and avoiding having to stand by silently listening to adult conversation. 

Looking a little abashed at Margaret’s brashness she started “Sorry for Margaret and I’s interruption, I just wished to thank you for your assistance last night. I feel awful for not realizing our Mother was ill before and securing her assistance to leave the carriage.” 

“No thanks are necessary, I was glad to help, just sorry that the inn’s oversight made it necessary for me to overstep in such a way. As for imposing, not at all. I am too much alone with my thoughts here of late.” He gestured toward the bench offering her a seat. 

She took the seat on the bench, and he resettled at the other end. 

“How does your mother fair? Will you ladies be moving on soon?” He enquired

“She is doing better, but will not be able to travel for a while, My brother and his wife will be utterly disappointed.” Marianne did not attempt to hide the bitterness from this final statement. 

“So you travel to your brother’s home?” Benwick enquired.

Marianne snorted “Yes, our former home at Norland Park. My half-brother inherited it from our Uncle. While we are not wanted to live under his roof, it seems we are wanted when work is needed to run it. His wife’s brother is to have his wedding there and my mother’s help is required.“

Benwick’s bark of short laughter broke her rant. Realizing she had been railing on about her private family business to a near stranger she stilled blushing slightly. 

“I am sorry, do not think I find merriment in your situation. That sounds quiet awful. I am merely so delighted I could burst at hearing someone actually say what they think.” Smiling beautifully at her he continued. “I spent years at sea among rowdy and loud men who say just as they think with all the rough edges. Then I am returned to shore, with all of the polite nothings it entails, and I am adrift in them most days, uncertain whether I should speak at all.”

Reassured Marianne smiled back at him, and looking for a change of topic noticed the small clip of golden hair in the locket in his hand. “Is that Mrs. Benwick’s” 

He stiffened, the bright smile dimming. “No, Fanny never got the chance to become Mrs. Benwick.”

“I am so sorry to have brought it up.” Noticing the lack of morning garb she added “Is your loss recent?”

“To society and its expectations, no it is not, but it very much feels that way to me most days.” Benwick responded looking again to the sea. 

Marianne her heart full of a loss, though of a different kind, very much felt for Benwick. “Those who lack feeling often fail to understand how much loss weighs on those of greater depth.” 

She tried again to shift the topic to brighter things “So Captain, other than your beautiful sea views, what has Lyme to offer people of great feeling? The physician said we may be here for a number of weeks.”

His smile returned, though much more muted. “I am a poor guide to the entertainments of Lyme. I spend most of my time reading, here of late mostly poetry.”

**“** **_With a magic like thee; Is thy sweet voice to me; When, as if its sound were causing; The charmed ocean’s pausing, the waves lie stil and gleaming, and the lull’d winds dreaming:”_ ** Marianne quoted to him, her smile back to glowing. 

“Byron. I have read much of his works. Scott as well. Do you read much poetry?” Benwick asked of her, shifting on the bench to face her. 

“It is my only enjoyment when away from my music. Though I confess that my own collection is small and I am limited in what can hence travel with me.” Marianne admitted, as if not owning great libraries of poetry were a personal defect. 

“I myself have just begun to have a collection to call my own. Most of my reading comes from the lending library here in the high street. They have a wonderful collection. If you have the chance you should look into it.” Benwick responded laughing “though many of the best volumes are still awaiting my return of them.” 

Just as Marianne was about to respond Margaret returned from her jaunt up the shore sash stuffed with fossils and shells. “I probably ought to finish our errands and return to the inn, thank you for the library suggestion.” 

Standing to bow them goodbye Benwick responded “Gladly, it was wonderful to have the company today. My best to your mother and her recovery. I hope to see you both again...” Leaning into Marianne as if to tell a secret he whispered as loudly as possible so Margaret could hear. “Be sure to keep an eye on your budding Geologist there, you will lose them on a shore this interesting.” he finished with a wink at Margaret. “Miss Marianne, Miss Margaret. Gooday.”

* * *

**_“His looks showing him not pained, but pleased with this allusion to his situation, she was emboldened to go on; and feeling in herself the right of seniority of mind, she ventured to recommend a larger allowance of prose in his daily study; and on being requested to particularize, mentioned such works of our best moralists, such collections of the finest letters, such memoirs of characters of worth and suffering, as occurred to her at the moment as calculated to rouse and fortify the mind by the highest precepts, and the strongest examples of moral and religious endurances._ **

**_Captain Benwick listened attentively, and seemed grateful for the interest implied; and though with a shake of the head, and sighs which declared his little faith in the efficacy of any books on grief like his, noted down the names of those she recommended, and promised to procure and read them.”_ **

Anne smiled to herself at the hypocrisy of her trying to lead someone out of their grief when she still dwelled in her own eight years later. Though it was nice to have someone who was well read to talk to. 

“You have impeccable timing in your recommendations, I was just promising Miss Marianne I would try to return some of the volumes on poetry I had from the lending library, so she might have a chance at them during her stay. It will be a good time to trade them out for some of the volumes you recommend” Benwick seemed to brighten for the first time that evening, telling Anne of this.

“Is Miss Marianne a friend of yours.” Anne asked, glad to see a topic that brought more life to Benwick

“A recent acquaintance, the Miss Dashwoods are staying at the inn here, though they dine in their rooms with their mother. She took ill on the way to Norland Park in Sussex and they are obligated to stay while she recovers. I happened to be passing when she took ill and rendered what aid I could. I have talked some with the younger Miss Dashwoods, Miss Marianne and Miss Margaret, on their morning walks this week. She also has a passion for poetry.” Benwick looked slightly bashful having explained. 

“Dashwoods? Norland Park? Are they relatives of John Dashwood? My elder sister Elizabeth is having her wedding at Norland Park. Her fianće is a relation of Mrs. John Dashwood, his brother-in-law I believe” Anne asked, interested in this newly found connection.

“Yes, I believe the current owner is their half-brother. He had asked his step-mother and sisters to come visit before the wedding to help with its preparations.” Benwick answered.

“Oh, it was my understanding that his family lived with him having lost their father earlier this spring.” Anne asked confused

“No it would seem they dwell on their own, near Exeter on property owned by some of Mrs. Dashwood's distant relatives. I do not really know the details.” Benwick shifted uncomfortably. not knowing how much Marianne would want shared with this new connection. “I can introduce you if you would like, the Miss Dashwoods often walk in the morning along the Cobb.”

“That would be lovely. It would be nice to know the people I am to stay with before I arrive out of nowhere for Elizabeth's wedding.” Anne answered. 

* * *

**“** **_Breakfast had not been long over when they were joined by Captain and Mrs. Harville and Captain Benwick, with whom they had appointed to take their last walk about Lyme.”_ **

As soon as they set off Benwick dropped back to walk with Anne “I enquired at the front and it appears the Miss Dashwoods have walked out already. I usually meet with them down near the Cobb around this time of day.” 

Anne smiled glad to hear that she would get the chance to meet them having managed to miss bumping into them at the inn. 

There were in fact two young women lingering near the Cobb as they approached. They appeared about 17 to 20 in age. So not the youngest Miss Margaret that had been described, but possibly the elder two Miss Dashwoods. 

Benwick stepped up and spoke to them before introducing them in turn to the party as a whole. As they walked on toward the Cobb Benwick and the Miss Dashwoods fell into step with Anne. 

Marianne spoke first. ”It is wonderful to meet you Miss Elliot, we are glad to know something of the Miss Elliot who will soon be marrying into our brother’s family. We know only that  _ Fanny _ approves of her.” 

Anne catching the tone of disapproval for anything this Fanny approved of gave a quiet laugh and shared a reassuring glance with the more apologetic looking Elinor Dashwood. “It is very nice to meet you as well Miss Marianne, knowing only of Mr. Ferrars and his family that my  _ father and sister approve.” _ This last was said with a dramatized shudder and conspiratorial look to Elinor that let the more prudent girl know she was not offended and felt much the same of her own ridiculous relations. 

The next hour was spent pleasantly with the Dashwoods telling Anne of the beauty of Norland Park and what to expect of the Ferrars, possibly more than Elinor felt Marianne should be sharing, but Anne took it for the well meaning and sincere advice it was meant. The Harvilles left them to return home but Benwick and the Dashwoods walked back toward the inn with them.

When the wind rose they decided to come down off the higher level of the cobb. They each carefully walked down the steps, Marianne the last carefully attended by Benwick. They had just stepped aside when Louisa ran back up the stairs demanding that Captain Wentworth jump her down again. She jumped for him despite his overheard protests against it. Slipping and crashing to the stone.

Wentworth’s cry of “Is there no one to help me” had Elinor rushing to his side, removing Louisa’s bonnet and checking for a wound.

Anne shook Benwick from his shock “Go to him, go to him, for heaven's sake, go to him. I can support her on my own.” Anne shifted Henrietta who had clung to them in her despair, holding her up. 

At this Marianne stepped forward taking Henrietta into her arms to try to calm and support her. “Go help them Miss Elliot, I have her.”

With this Anne rushed to Louisa’s side helping Elinor to try to rouse her. Freeing Captain Wentworth to try to run for a surgeon until Anne suggested Benwick go in his place. Wentworth sank against the wall of the Cobb muttering to himself about her mother and father. Charles cried out “What are we to do, what is to be done next.”

Elinor, still supporting Louisa in her lap as Anne attempted to rouse her, whispered to Anne, “should we attempt to move her?” 

Looking to the growing crowds and the hysterical group Anne nodded. “Yes, let us have her carried to the inn.” 

Wentworth’s eyes snapped to the two calm women, he seemed to regain some of himself and stepped forward. “I will carry her myself,--Musgrove see to the others.” 

They had not reached the end of the cobb when Captain Harville met them redirecting them to his home instead. Once Louisa had been carried in and was being settled Elinor and Marianne felt themselves the strangers they were and separated off to return to the inn. Benwick assured them he would bring news as soon as he could. 

Before it even seemed possible the surgeon had come and gone. Assuring them that while her head injury was very serious it would heal with time. It became necessary for the party to figure out what would happen going forward. Louisa could not be moved, that was very clear. So Benwick would remove to the inn for the time being. Someone would also have to return to Uppercross to inform the Musgroves and return Henrietta. 

**_“The plan had reached this point when Anne, coming quietly down the stairs from Louisa’s room, could not but hear what followed, for the parlor door was open._ **

**_‘Then it is settled, Musgrove. That you stay, and that I take care of your sister home. But as to the rest, as to the others, if one stays to assist Mrs. Harville, I think it need be only one. Mrs. Charles Musgrove will, of course, wish to get back to her children; but if Anne will stay, no one so proper, so capable as Anne.”_** Looking up and seeing Anne standing there he asked “You will stay” there seemed to be a gentleness more of their past then their current relationship in the request. 

“Of course I will stay.” Anne shook herself free of thoughts of him, knowing it was only his concern for Louisa that made him so tender. She moved to help arrange the other Ladies to head out with Captain Wentworth for Uppercross. 

This was almost a disaster when Mary saw this as a slight to her person, as her being excluded.

“If my husband is to stay, so will I. Why will Anne stay? She is not a sister to Louisa I am.” Mary petulantly demanded

Anne thinking quickly turned Mary’s own words about young Charles’s nursing back on her. 

“Exactly why you cannot care for her Mary, I have not a sister's feelings. Besides, no one can expect you to be here nursing when you also have to prep an entire household to travel in a short time to Sussex for Elizabeth's wedding. You have a fitting scheduled in a few days” 

This last bit seemed to strike Mary, her vanity winning over her jealousy, wishing to be in best form for Elizabeth's wedding and not seen as a country bumpkin to Elizabeth's new London relatives.

“We also need you to care for Henrietta, and be there when the news is broken to Mr. and Mrs. Musgrove, I am not a daughter to them, and with Charles staying they should hear it from family.” This last bit of inspiration followed to seal Mary’s indecision. 

“You're right Anne, they should hear it from family” Mary huffed heading out with Charles to get ready for their departure. 

“Beautifully handled” Mrs. Harville squeezed Anne’s arm to comfort her “come on, let's get you all set up if you are to stay with us.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If it need be said...any dialog or portions you recognize are from the relevant Austen works


	3. The Distress of the Day

Chapter Three The Distress of the Day

Benwick’s relocation to the inn to make room for Ms. Musgrove and Ms. Elliot had been less of a discomfort than he expected. He still dinned and spent much of his day with the Harvilles, but most mornings he found himself heading out at the same time as Ms. Marianne and one of her sisters to walk about town. His heart felt lighter than any time since Fanny’s loss. He had never met a woman other than her that was so passionate. Ms. Marianne did not have her understanding of education, but she had more intensity and feeling. She also seemed to have some understanding at what he was going through. It often made him wonder what had happened between her and this Willoughby, whose name occasionally slipped into conversation. He was to escort her down to the lending library in town this morning, and looked forward to sharing some of the texts with her that Ms. Elliot had recommended, and hearing her thoughts on some of the works of Byron he would return. As he was approaching the ground level of the inn he heard a debate in hushed voices.

“Marianne be reasonable, we can only afford to eat and stay here because John had prearranged the stay for us and was too embarrassed to refuse the bill for our stay and the physician when they were sent to him, either that or his steward assumed he would not object. We can not afford to spend what little we have on a lending membership, even a short one. We will be back at Norland soon, it has a library you can utilize.” He heard Elinor urge her sister.

“Fine, but it is humiliating to have to once again refuse what was meant as a kindness.” Marianne hissed at her sister.

Benwick cleared his throat drawing their attention. He hoped to make it seem that he had not overheard them, but he doubted either believed that. He was never very good at concealing his discomfort and both of the young ladies were quite observant, each in their own way.

“I apologize, you should not have had to hear that Captain Benwick.” Elinor, always the one to try to smooth their way.

“There is nothing to apologize for. It was thoughtless of me to have put you in the situation to begin with. It was also unnecessary. I never take out as many volumes as I have contracted for, Ms. Marianne can just continue to borrow the volumes in question from myself.” Benwick soothed Elinor’s discomfort turning to Marianne “though Ms. Marianne I could still use your advice in selecting among the volumes Ms. Elliot recommended.”

“Of course, were you ready to depart?” Marianne asked.

Benwick and Marianne left Elinor to return to her mother. Heading toward the commercial area of town where the Library was located.

“Did you get a chance to read any of the volumes I lent you?” Benwick asked, hoping the momentary awkwardness of previous conversation could be set aside.

“Oh yes, ‘When we two parted, In silence and tears, Half-brokenhearted, To sever for years, Pale Grew thy cheek and cold, Colder thy kiss; Truly that hour foretold, Sorrow to this.’ It was like he looked inside my very soul to find his words' ' Marianne responded, her smile taking a more reserved nature and her eyes a sadness.

Benwick understood this very well “The dew of the morning, Sunk chill on my brow--It felt like the warning of what I felt now, Thy vows are all broken, And light is thy flame, I hear thy name spoken, and share in it’s shame.’ I know not the betrayal that verse speaks of but the loss and the foreboding I feel very much. I think that is part of the reason I rushed to propose to Fanny. I feared to leave her insecure of my love when I parted. I never imagined that it would be her lost to me and not the other way around. Our engagement would have been of an indeterminable length, but I could not bear to leave her without my promise. I also could not bear to be without hers. The idea of leaving her to doubt me, I don’t think any man, truly in love, would run that risk. To leave her without the ability to even be written to, to reassure her of my love. To hear of each other only indirectly through her brother's letters. No one in love should have to live in insecurity such as that.”

A desperate cry burst from Marianne at this last declaration. She began to weep in earnest as if a damn holding back a river had gone, releasing a torrent of tears. Benwick, distraught at the thought that he said something to injure her so, steered her out of the sight of the main street onto a bench in a public green area. Urging her to sit and take his handkerchief. Once they were settled he desperately tried to soothe her “Ms. Marianne, I am so sorry to have said something to upset you. Please forgive me once again for being thoughtless. Might I do anything for you, should I retrieve your sister”

The mention of her sister seemed to sober and calm Marianne some “Please don’t, I don’t wish her to see me once again making a spectacle of myself. It is I who need to apologize for behaving in such a way. It was just what you said stuck me to the core, the insecurity of Willoughby…” Marianne stopped looking down, realizing she should not be confiding this in someone with no relation to the situation.

Taking up her hand he urged her “Ms. Marianne, I know we are not long acquainted and you have no reason to trust me, but I have very much come to consider you a friend. I have more than worn out your good humor lamenting my own hardships to you. I would never judge you for doing the same and confiding in me.”

At this entreaty to speak the words burst from Marianne in a torrent as fierce as her tears. She conveyed the entire story, from their brothers neglected promise and losing her home, to how she had fallen in love with Willoughby, to his sudden departure with no notion of a return. How until that moment she had never doubted he returned her love, or that it was just distance keeping them apart, and a wish to not upset his aunt. How she now realized he had never actually said he loved her, only implied things about ‘those in love’. How he had never even hinted that he promised to return, or tried to even write to Sir John as a roundabout way to hear of her.

“I thought that if I could just get to him in London, away from his Aunt he would propose. What you said... he could have proposed that day as I thought he was going to. I would have kept it secret, for however long he needed to bring her around. I would have made any promise. Taking any reassurance, instead he just left. Without even a full explanation. Now I find myself doubting him. I hate myself for it, but I cannot help it. What kind of person does that make me, to doubt his love after such a short parting, to be so inconstant?” Marianne finished explaining.

Realizing he had taken her hand at some point in her telling, he knew he should release it but, could not bring himself to do so. Instead shifting his body to screen her further from view. “Ms. Marianne, it makes you human. I know I cannot judge all men by the actions I would have taken in such a situation, some are more stoic and reserved in their feelings. However, this Willoughby does not seem the type to be reserved, or fear for propriety. I would be suspect of the behavior of any man, no matter the reserve, should he have behaved in such a way. To leave you with nothing, on a day he led the entire neighborhood and your own family to believe he was to propose, is not only questionable but scandalous. He left you not only insecure in your own right, but also open to the scorn of others who would believe you slighted. No man with any honor would behave in such a way. It sounds as if it is only the belief that a secret engagement exists has kept you from censure. I am sorry to distress you further, but you are not inconstant to doubt him. He has done nothing to deserve your faith in him, in the first place.”

Marianne just sniffled and nodded, still trying to process the idea that Willoughby may not be eagerly awaiting her return. Benwick, seeing she was still distraught and becoming more aware of their location, despite the lack of traffic about the town, decided they needed to move on. “Might I introduce you to the Harvilles, and you could see Ms. Elliot. They reside just down the shore. I believe you and Ms. Elliot have much in common, and a shared passion for music. You got to speak so little before the incident. It would also give you a chance to compose yourself before you return to your sister’s very observant presence.”

She gave him a watery attempt at a smile “Thank you Captain, I would like that very much.”

* * *

Marianne and Benwick had arrived at the Harville’s just as Anne was returning down stairs. Louisa had sat up for most of the morning and was now laying down again with a headache. Anne had seen Marianne’s distress and noticed Benwick's attempt to divert her attention so she obliged. They talked of composers and their favorite works for a half and hour. When they rose to leave so Benwick might walk her back to the inn, Mrs. Harville insisted that Anne could use some air and should go along to allow her to see Ms. Dashwood again.

They arrived at the inn to find that the other patient had also laid down for the afternoon to rest. Elinor called for tea to be brought to the small parlor their shared room afforded them. When asked about the library, Marianne brushed off Elinor’s question that they were unable to go. Shifting to asking Ms. Elliot about the works she recommended. Elinor was easily diverted for once. Finally finding someone sensible to talk of books with. For the next few hours Ann outstayed all proprietary discussing things they had read, and certain movements in society. Benwick and Marianne sat smugly aside as giddy as matchmaking parents at having brought the two new friends together, quietly talking on their own topics of interest. There was an undercurrent of comradary between the women. While Anne was many years Elinor’s senior, she recognized someone alike. Someone who chafed at the lack of power they possessed, but understood the danger of stepping outside of their given role. Someone who tried to steer their family through safe waters while often being ignored. There was also a shared sadness that both women appeared to be trying to suppress. When Anne became aware again of the time and made her goodbyes she felt she had never met a more sensible and interesting friend and was relieved to know she would have one person to turn to when she traveled to Sussex.

Captain Benwick had an affectionate heart, and for the first time in over a year it had something to focus on. Somewhere for the care and love it was filled with to go to. His heart could not help but bleed for the Ms. Dashwoods's situation, but especially for the pain Marianne was experiencing. He could do nothing about a brother that refused to do the duty by his family. Nor could he do much to raise their fortunes. However the question of Willoughby and the turmoil he presented to Marianne was something he could fix. He had a great acquaintance in London. While they may not be high born gentlemen, they still moved in the same circles and would be privy to the goings on in town. Especially Andrews, he was the great grandson of some impoverished nobility or other, and had married a gossipy woman of good fortune. He was recovering from a shoulder injury and staying in London. He would write to him and make inquiries of what he knew. A simple story of him being acquainted with another friend's relations would do. Mrs. Andrews could find out the man's life story in a fortnight if she did not already know it. Hopefully he could find some peace for Marianne before she left for Sussex. Before she left him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The poetry quoted is from Byron's When We Two Parted. I have also taken liberties on the years his work was released to work it into the story. It was too perfect to pass up just because it wasn't published until many years after this would have taken place.


	4. Without being at liberty to speak of It

Chapter Four Without being at liberty to speak of it

After much bussel and disorganization the elder Musgroves had decided to take lodgings in Lyme. Though Charles and cousin Hayter had each taken it upon themselves to travel back and forth to Lyme in order to gain regular updates on Louisa. Her parents could not be content until they had seen her condition for themselves. With no clear head to guide them this relocation took longer than it should have. Eventually they were able to settle near the Harvilles bringing along Henrietta, and a much more useful helper in their old nursery-maid Sarah. While neither Mrs. Musgrove or Henrietta was much for nursing they could take the care of Mrs. Harvilles children part of the time. Sarah however was a great comfort to Louisa. This increase in the number of caregivers for Louisa, and her improvement, now being able to sit up and speak a little, left Anne with more time of her own. Time which was mostly spent with Mrs. Harville or the Ms. Dashwoods. Anne was beginning to feel that she would need to move on soon. It was a relief knowing Louisa would be taken care of should she leave.

Being unnecessary to Louisa’s care was not the only reason she felt she should move on. Captain Wentworth had only returned for a few short days after informing the Musgroves of Louisa’s injury. He had not even stayed long enough to see her fully awake. Something had shifted in his behavior. Anne noticed he spent much time staring at her and looking grave. He also often rushed off to ride or walk the wilds the moment she exited Louisa’s rooms. His last day in Lyme he had a discussion with Captain Harville that seemed to upset both men and then suddenly had business that could not be delayed with his brother Edward in Shropshire. Anne feared her presence had driven him away. She was loath to ask, but it appeared that the Harvilles were at least partially aware of her and Fredricks’s history and she feared he had been sent away for her perceived comfort. Afraid she was keeping him from Louisa, she had already begun to look into departing. Louisa no longer needed her regular nursing and would much rather have the man she cared for. Louisa regularly asked of Captain Wentworth and seemed confused by his continued absence.

The absurdity of the situation was beginning to wear on Anne as well. Being in a home with his friends, friends who might have been hers in a different life was too much. Especially while they all attended to the one who had taken her place in his life. It left her feeling like some shade in a ghost story, unwanted but lingering, keeping others from moving on.

The afternoon found Anne searching out Elinor Dashwood. She spent most afternoons with Elinor. She knew it was beyond propriety to stay so long each day but, Elinor seemed to appreciate the company. Mrs. Dashwood rested in the afternoon. Elinor also sent Marianne and Margaret away to run off their excess energy touring the wilds nearby and otherwise would have been alone. Mrs. Dashwood’s fever had broken and she was able to speak without pain, but still tired quickly. The physician hoped she would be able to travel by the week’s end. Elinor however was not comfortable to be far from her while she rested and stayed in the attached parlor.

Anne must have still worn her worry on her face when she arrived for her visit.

“I wish you would tell me what weighs on you so. Louisa is improving so it is not that.” Elinor told Anne, pouring them tea. “and I know you actually enjoy caring for Louisa so that is not it either.”

Anne was not used to having someone who cared about what she was thinking or feeling. Lady Russel cared but in a way that was more demanding. Her care was less prone to listen and more to instruct. Keeping quiet in the face of such care was too much for Anne. The truth burst from her lips before she could stop herself. “I am the reason Captain Wentworth has abandoned Louisa.”

Looking very confused as she could not imagine some type of indiscretion from two such reserved and upright people Elinor just sat looking every bit of her confusion.

“Well my comfort, he fears making me uncomfortable, and in doing so, now Louisa is uncomfortable. I feel I am less of a help to her and more of a burden.” Anne tried to clarify her concern.

“Why would the Captain need to leave on your account?” Elinor asked, still knowing she was seeing so little of the situation.

Anne saw no way around it now, and if being honest wanted to unburden herself. To have the truth known to a single person who might care. So she told Elinor the entire story. Elinor asking many questions along the way to draw out the particulars. “So you see, he can not forgive me and I fear his friends all know I misused him. Now I am doing so again by keeping him from where he wishes to be. It would be better if I were to go now, and allow him to return.” Anne pleaded, finishing. Seeming to forget it was his request that led to her staying in the first place.

“Oh, you should certainly leave, but not to please HIM or make HIM more comfortable. If you think it would be best for Louisa, then by all means do so. But I would not move a pebble for HIS comfort. What selfish, short thinking, immature children pretending to be men.” Elinor caught herself, blushing at her outburst. “Forgive me Anne, that was rude and unnecessary but I could scream for the situation he has put you in. You are not the one who needs forgiving. You rightly refused a boy who could not provide for you, who was so delusional and self assured to think himself untouchable in a war and now the Man he has become through mostly pure dumb luck is showing himself to be just as selfish and short sighted. If he truly cared for you and not your station, his pride at the perceived slight should not have been enough to keep him away, he could have returned for you at any time, once he was made. But he valued nothing but his own pride and petty indignance.”

Anne felt conflicted in her wish to defend him, but knowing it was not entirely untrue paused noticing for the first time the tears beginning to form in Elinor's eyes. “Oh no, Elinor, I am so sorry I have upset you. It is too much for you to have to bear my troubles in your current situation.”

Elinor now felt the worse for denying Anne the comfort she sought with her shared confidence. She could not withhold the truth of Edward. She spun the entire tale, telling Anne what she could not share with her family. While she would not tell Lucy’s secret having sworn to keep it, she did imply she had found out in a roundabout way his honor was engaged elsewhere. “So now I must return to his presence at the wedding. All the while his family treats me ill. I am asked to suffer all the downfalls of an engagement without any of the benefits. To silently take their abuse, while knowing myself separated from him forever. Unable to set down his family's abuses or mine’s expectations without violating another's confidence. A confidence I did not seek or want, and cannot help but feel was given maliciously. I have tried to indirectly hint that he is unavailable to my family but they will not listen without direct evidence. I cannot blame them, after his visit. It raised expectations in the entire neighborhood.” Elinor finished, worn and teary from the tale. “I had not realized how angry I was until I saw you in a similarly difficult situation. I have become so used to seeing my own comfort and claims as less than others that I thought only of my family's disappointment. But imagining someone else I care for, for I have come to see you as a dear friend, in a situation of pain caused by another's thoughtless and selfish behavior. I was livid for you. I would be so angry if someone had done as Edward had done to Marianne or you.It made me realize I was livid for myself as well.”

Anne weeping with Elinor took her hand.”I too have come to see you as a dear friend despite our short acquaintance. My heart bleeds for the situation you are in, I am so angry at Mr. Ferrars for hurting you so. All the while acting as if it were no big deal, and going about his life in a sulk. As if it is someone else’s fault he has to bear the consequences of his own youthful brashness. I understand what you mean. If I were to put aside my tendency to place my own importance after others. If I put someone such as yourself in my shoes, I would be angry with him. It is easy to see Fredrick, I’m sorry, Captain Wentworth successful and feel that I was wrong in my caution because it turned out to be unnecessary. But you are right, just because the worst did not come to pass does not mean my caution was wrong. It is easy to see the life I could have had and feel it was worth the risk. I forget in the moment that it would have been just as likely for him to die a lieutenant somewhere off of France. For me to find myself at the whims of my father as a widowed woman with no way to provide for myself or a child. I could not imagine a child having to grow up bearing the resentment of my Father and Elizabeth, constantly made to feel as small and burdensome as they make me feel. Especially a daughter, knowing as she grew I could not provide any portion for her. But enough of him, what is done is done. If he had wanted me, he could have returned at any time as you said. I should make my leave for my own comfort and for Louisa. I am glad you have told me your story as well, now you will not have to bear it alone once I come to Norland'' Anne finished, gaining composure along with a new resolve

Elinor was beginning to compose herself as well, feeling lighter and more prepared for facing the Ferrars than she had in weeks. “Well Anne, then I have timely news for you. My brother's letter arrived today confirming that so long as my mother’s health continues to improve, we will travel at the end of the week to meet him. I may have mentioned how TRAGIC it was that you would have to wait to travel back to Uppercross and then travel with the Musgroves. I also mentioned how Elizabeth must be lost without her DEAR sister for another month. John responded that of course you were invited to come early to Norland, and I just must insist you travel with us.” Her weak watery smile had become a mischievous grin by the time she finished.

Anne burst out laughing, trying to suppress it behind a hand. “Oh, Elinor. I did not know you were quite so devious. How horrible you are.” Her smile showed she found no true offense in Elinor’s presentation of facts to John. “I would love to travel with you. Though I cannot say I will be glad to get to Norland and therefore Elizabeth quicker, it is the best option open to me right now. Thank you.”

By the time Marianne and Margaret returned, the two women had composed themselves and no sign of the pain from the memories they shared remained on their faces. The younger Miss Dashwoods were just as excited to hear Anne had accepted the invitation and would travel with them. Marianne made her swear to play with her once they arrived, having missed the pianoforte at Norland and knowing the house had many great duets in its collections. Margaret was ecstatic to find Anne could to ride, and talked of the possibility of borrowing horses from John’s stables, he would not dare refuse if Ms. Elliot’s sister asked.

Anne returned to the Harvilles that afternoon with a much lighter heart. Especially glad of the invite to travel with them. It would present a fine explanation for her departure. She could say she would go now to avoid troubling someone to come fetch her, never needing to bring up the other reasons. She was glad to have been useful to Louisa, but now she could make way for someone that would aid her recovery in spirit as well as in body. She would miss the Harvilles and Captain Benwich, but it was not goodbye forever. She had promised she would write to Mrs. Harville when she did leave, so that friendship would endure. She had also heard Captain Benwick promise Mrs. Dashwood he would visit them at Barton the next time he had reason to visit Exeter. Anne suspected it would not be long before her new dear friends had a more solid connection to Captain Benwick through Ms. Marianne. So between his connection to them and her friendship with Mrs. Harville she would see him again. As well as the connection that seemed just as likely between the Musgroves and Captain Wentworth, though it was better to put that from her mind. He was clearly moving on, it was time she did as well. She had hung on to a false hope for too long. He could have returned six years ago if he had still wanted or cared for her. He despised her. While she could never feel the same hate for him, it was long past time that she stopped loving him. It could not be put away overnight, but neither of them were the people they were eight years ago, the young man she loved was long gone. Today she would start to let him go.

* * *

Benwick stopped Anne as she was leaving the lodging of the Musgroves, having gone to say her goodbyes to them. She was to leave with the Dashwoods in the morning. He was not happy to see any of them go, but especially not now. This was not how he wanted to end their time together. The letter he received yesterday would not be welcome, but it seemed cruel to allow Marianne to find out the news from idol gossip at Norland. Better to come from a friend, while she had time to reconcile herself to it.

“Miss Elliot, I know you did not intend to visit with the Miss Dashwoods today, but I received some news that they may find distressing. I wondered if you might accompany me to deliver it. Better you know as well.”  
Anne looked shocked at finding him there but nodded her agreement immediately “Of course, I would want to be there. Is it their family?”

“No, no loss or illness of that type” Benwick assured her. Clearly not wanting to have to tell the story twice.

Ms. Marianne was just arriving back at the inn as they were shown to the parlor. The rest of the Dashwoods seated around the room.

Mrs Dashwood took the lead, noticing the grim looks “My dear Captain, Anne, whatever is the matter.”

They both sat at a gesture from Mrs. Dashwood. Benwick took a deep breath before beginning. “Please forgive my over step, but you all seemed very upset at the loss of a certain friend this summer.” Avoiding their gaze, feeling guilty for bringing up Willoughby in a group. “I found myself wishing to ease your worry. So I wrote to a friend in London. His wife is very much involved in society matters among that set. I asked discreetly of your friend and received news today.” Benwick paused stilling himself for delivering a blow he wished could come from someone else. “I was informed in this letter that he is recently engaged to a Ms. Grey with 50,000 pounds. This last bit seemed important to my friend because he had also heard of a disagreement with Colonel Brandon of Delaford, of honor that is, that was met in a way that gentlemen do. The news that led to this disagreement was rumored to involve his young ward, it was also considered to be the reason Willoughby’s aunt sent him from her presence and likely cut him off financially. So it would appear he needed to replace that income quickly and has done so through a marriage that will take place before the month is out.” Benwick forced himself to look up from his hands, where he had been staring. Marianne with tears running silently down her face mumbled something of an apology and ran from the room. Her mother rushed after her.

“I am sorry Miss Dashwood to have to bring this news to you. I cannot tell you how much it pains me to hurt her so. To hurt you all so, but I feared that the news would be common knowledge by the time you reached Norland. I did not wish for you to have to receive it in company who would not understand.” He pleaded with Elinor through his expression to forgive him for being the one to bring them such awful news.

“Captain, you are not at fault for being the messenger. I was not aware that my sister had taken you into her confidence, but I am glad she did. I cannot imagine that she would have been able to manage this news in public. Thank you for allowing her time to grieve in private before she has to face our sister-in-law and other such gossips. I trust you will keep such connections between us and Willoughby to yourself.” Elinor trying to maintain composure.

“Of course, I would never wish any pain or embarrassment on Mar..on Ms. Marianne. Or any member of your family. You have all come to be important friends to me. I will leave you to care for your sister now. But I will return to see you off in the morning if that is alright?” Benwick asked standing to take his leave.

“Yes of course” Elinor responded, still shell shocked.

As Benwick left Anne moved to sit beside Elinor. Anne had been told by Marianne of her hopes of Willoughby but had also been privy to enough conversations between Elinor and their mother to know the situation was mildly suspicious. “My dear, are you alright. I know you did not trust his departure, but this is very extreme.”

“I had begun to expect that he was not the man he seemed to be, something was so very wrong with his departure. But it was so clear that he loved Marianne. I could not imagine someone loving like that and not wishing to be with them. I guess it was not love after all. No one who loved someone could do that to them. Oh my god, Colonel Brandon!” Elinor gasped, just now seeing the repercussions of the entire tale. “He is a dear friend of ours, he left abruptly right before Willoughby. Mrs. Jennings guessed his ward Eliza was involved. I am horrified to imagine what has happened to the poor girl to make Brandon seek him on a field of Honor. The Colonel is so even tempered and responsible. It must have been…” Elinor trailed off knowing women of her station were not supposed to know let alone talk of such affairs.

Anne nodded understanding “It seems that Marianne was saved a most awful fate. I know she will not see it that way for a very long time, but to have such a man as a husband would be awful. Better to find out his character now, and in a way ensures very few will ever connect her to him.”

“You are right, but I worry she will not see it that way. To have been so deceived. I do not know how we all could have been so wrong in him. I should go to my sister.” Elinor responded still shocked into artificial calmness.

“Yes, I will return to the Harville’s for now. I will try to return early in the morning. To help prepare Marianne to depart. Maybe returning to Norland will give her some solace.” With that Anne left the Dashwoods to tend to Marianne, and to their own feelings of loss.

* * *

The next morning with a heavy heart Captain Benwick handed his five new friends into the carriage to head for Norland. His only consolation knowing Anne would write to Mrs. Harville. That he would at least have that indirect way of contacting them. Sending Ms. Marianne away like this he was reminded of their previous conversation on love and insecurity. He for the first time, began to be honest that it was more than friendship he was feeling. He had snuck a small volume of Shakespeare's sonnets into her hand as she climbed into the carriage. It was not appropriate but he hoped it would bring her some comfort where he could not. He had marked sonnet 33 for her, it somehow seemed fitting.

Marianne, opening the volume as they started down the road saw the marked passage and read. “Anon permit the basest clouds to ride with ugly rack on his celestial face. And from the forlorn world his visage hide, Stealing unseen to west with this disgrace. Even so my sun on early morn did shine with all triumphant splendor on my brow; But out alack, he was but one hour mine; The region cloud hath masked him from me now.”

While Willoughby had not died, the man she had believed him to be most certainly had. So while she wept, she also found comfort in knowing the friend she left behind understood, and felt for her. She felt his loss as keenly as Willoughby’s and hoped fate would bring them together again soon.


	5. Degraded to the condition of visitors

Chapter Five: Degraded to the condition of visitors

Mrs. Dashwood sat silently seething during the after dinner separation. Listening to the ladies talk she felt twice the fool. She had faced every embarrassment possible in the last month. She had brought her daughters back to Norland, to have them suffer the indignity of being treated as visitors in what was once their home. Yet they were shown none of the care of a visitor. The Dashwoods along with Miss Anne Elliot had worked to ensure every aspect of Norland Park was at its best and that the wedding it was to host went seamlessly. Mrs. Dashwood had even held her tongue through Fanny and Mrs. Ferrars’s snide comments and badly veiled insults to Elinor. Elinor in turn had avoided them and even managed to keep Marianne from speaking ill to them. She had allowed all of Fanny’s connections to stand on their misunderstandings when they prided John and Fanny for keeping their poor relations. She had done all of this to further the hopes for her daughters. John had talked of doing something for the girls if they came. She should have known he would not follow through with it. They were to leave in the morning. John had arranged for their departure without consulting her, informing her only that afternoon. At dinner John had presented each of the girls with a small present. A worn book on geography for Margaret from the Norland library. Sheet music for Elinor, also from the house's collection. Marianne received a book on flora and fauna of India “to aid in her art.” It would appear these small gifts, that were not even really John’s to give or even aimed at the correct sister, were the entirety of what he meant by doing something for the girls. He also expressed his sadness that the girls had not been able to meet someone “more appropriate to their situation” while among the wedding guests. John seemed to think that exposing the girls to the small group of people who had been willing to attend a country wedding in January was doing his duty as a brother to help them find establishments. 

Mrs Dashwood was also so confused on Edward’s behavior. It was clear that whatever weighed upon him when he had visited Barton was still upon him. He spent most of the visit in a sulk. He never once attempted to spend time with Elinor, nor delighted in her company as he did when they were previously at Norland. Elinor did not seem surprised, but she did show some hurt at this behavior. He never spoke up in defense when his mother or sister compared Elinor to “Miss Morton”. 

Mrs. Dashwood was truly the fool it seemed.She had trusted in John to be disappointed again. She had trusted in Willoughby only to find him a cad. She had trusted in Edward only to find him behaving no better, appearing to pass Elinor over for a rich bride to appease his harpy relatives. There really was truth to the view that the men of the Navy and Army were the best men of England. The way Sir John Middleton had gone out of his way to accommodate far relations he had never met. Looking at the concern Colonel Brandon had for his ward, the esteem he had treated her and her girls. The care the Harvilles and Benwick showed for her family, for dear Miss Elliot and the poor Miss Musgrove. Each being strangers with no connection to them. To compare this to the treatment her family and Miss Elliot had by the “Gentleman” of their own family should have been embarrassing to the gentleman. Sir Walter was even worse than John. Mrs. Dashwood had watched with growing ire the way he fawned over Elizabeth and dismissed Anne. She could not believe someone would act that way to their own child. 

Though the men were not the only ones to blame. Mrs. Dashwood was glad to be leaving if only so she did not have to spend another evening separation listening to Fanny and her new sister carry on. She had originally thought Lady Russell to be of a better quality of person. But she was coming to see that while she cared for Anne, she was still the same in regards to her selfishness and disdain for those she saw as outside her sphere. 

As the talk turned to who Anne would travel with it became harder to keep her counsel.

“Travel with us, no, no, Charles and I are returning via Lyme to check on Louisa. We can not ask the Musgroves to make room for all of us. I thought she was returning to Bath with Father.” Mrs. Charles Musgrove piped in. 

“Mary don’t be ridiculous, Robert, Father, Mrs. Clay and myself make four. You can not expect us to ride five to a carriage all the way to London. Besides, Mrs Ferrars will be hosting us for the week until the house in Wimpole Street is available, and until father can depart for Bath. She cannot be asked to house another. If she is not going back to Uppercross with you I am sure Lady Russell could take her until father returns to Bath.” Elizabeth argued with her youngest sister, each discussing Anne as if she were not even present. 

Lady Russell, while angry at the dismissal of Anne once again for someone as lowly as Mrs. Clay, still looked rather uncomfortable at speaking up to offer her accommodations. “I had not planned to return immediately to Kellynch or go directly to Bath. I had been invited to pay a visit to a friend while here is Sussex. It would be difficult for me to cancel it at such short notice.”

Mrs. Dashwood, seeing Anne shrink into her seat as though wishing to be invisible, had enough. She spoke directly to Anne but loud enough for the whole room to hear “Oh Miss Elliot, are you going to Bath, I had hoped you would honor us, by returning with us for a visit at Barton. It is so beautiful in the spring. But I can understand wanting to be with FAMILY after so long away. The girls will be so disappointed.” 

Lady Russell seeing a way to help Anne without having to inconvenience herself piped in. “Oh perfect, Anne if you wished to visit with them I could come for you after Easter. I would love to have you return with me to Kellynch then.” 

The people deciding Anne’s fate like she were a hot potato to be tossed to the next person moved on to talk of their own departure the next day. 

Mrs Dashwood, anger cooling realized she was just as bad. Having decided Anne’s fate without consulting her. She turned speaking low to her “I must apologize Miss Elliot, it was unfair to push you in such a way into accepting my invitation. Especially with how humble your accommodations would be with us. I just could not bear to see dismissed in such a way.” 

Anne looking relieved assured her “Not at all Mrs. Dashwood, I can think of no place I would rather go right now. You all have been so kind to me. It was only a wish to not impose on your family after so long with you and not having the ability to return after that made me reluctant to accept your invitation. I take no offense.”

“Still I should not have put you on the spot in such a manner. But we will all be so glad to have you remain with us.” Mrs. Dashwood assured her.

* * *

  
  
  


Elizabeth Ferrars was quite glad to finally be the mistress of her own house. In fashionable Wimpole Street as well. Mrs. Ferrars had still been rather piqued with Edward for refusing to meet with Miss Morton when they returned from London. Believing it to be due to his regard for Miss Dashwood she had sent him from her presence to think on it. Mrs. Ferrars had also been more generous in dividing out a younger son's portion than she previously would have been. She felt a point needed to be made about marrying the right kind of woman. This allowed Robert and Elizabeth the means to afford their own house in town. 

Sir Walter had left the previous day for Bath in the company of Mr. Elliot of all people. They had run into him in London and he had made a most pretty apology for the previous misunderstanding and paid her and Sir Walter every attention. Elizabeth was a little irritated that he should wait until after she had married to return to them. But a house in Wimpole street was doing much to soothe the loss of a baronetcy. There was also still time, and Mrs. Ferrars was working to see Robert in Parliament, where he would be able to distinguish himself. She may yet still find herself the wife of a Baronet. Her irritation was further confounded when Mrs. Clay abruptly departed at the same time. Claiming she had promised to visit relations in town and never planned to stay longer. Insisting to Elizabeth that no companion could be wanted among newlyweds. 

Wimpole Street also came with other advantages than just its fineness. Just last week she and Robert had attended the opening party for the neighboring house. The Rushworths had just returned to town following their wedding trip. Mr. Rushworth and Robert had attended school together. Robert had been indispensable to Mr. Rushworth in helping him prepare for the parliamentary season. The party had been everything Elizabeth had feared missing in Bath. She and Robert had even been mentioned in the write up the party received in the times. In the last few days she had paid and had returned many calls with the first circle she met at the party. Miss Crawford had called once, Mrs. Rushworth and her sister Miss Bertram had called twice and mentioned stopping by once again today. 

“Mrs Rushworth for you Mam” the butler announced Maria Rushworth. 

It was no Kellynch but Elizabeth had one of the finest drawing rooms in London and was always glad to show it off. Especially to someone who understood society the way she and Mrs. Rushworth did. 

“Mrs Rushworth, please have a seat. No Miss Bertram today?” Elizabeth settled in with her new friend. 

“No she had opted to go spend time with our cousins” Mrs. Rushworth explained looking put out at having lost her companion. She could not be expected to spend time with her husband alone. 

“The Prices Miss Crawford mentioned?” Elizabeth inquired. 

“No those upstarts, never. She goes to our Bertram cousins. I do not know what people see in the Prices, the Crawfords seem quite smitten with them. To imagine, passing up the attention of a Baronet’s daughters for a sailor’s, I mean daughter, Julia I mean.” realizing her slip Maria continued hoping it wasn’t noticed. 

Elizabeth very much noticed, just as she very much noticed the cool way Crawford had been received by Mrs. Rushworth, and how much he flirted in response to that coldness. “Well what is to be expected from someone with such naval connections. Especially if the rumors of their Uncle are to be believed. If I were you I would be leery to entertain either. It would be an insult for your sister to acknowledge them after he slighted her.” 

“Though he seems to regret how he has treated..Julia, now that the church mouse has refused him he is all smiles for her. Despite her cold reception” Maria clearly was not actually talking of Julia considering she had not reacted to his presence at all.

“I am sure it is all an act. Men like him want to be fawned over. How would it appear for women of our sphere to waste our time on those who do not appreciate us. This town is at our feet begging for our attention. Let us not waste time on those who would ignore us...our sisters I mean. We are not the people to fawn over others but to be fawned over.” Elizabeth encouraged her. Thinking of her own feigned disinterest in Mr. Elliot. Also wishing very much to be the close friend that took Mary Crawford’s place. “We need not always acknowledge in town those who we make time for in the more limited society of the country.”

“You know Mrs. Ferrars, you are right. I have much better things to spend my time on in London then country acquaintances like the Crawfords.” Maria looked gleeful at the idea of being the one to snub Henry Crawford this time. 

* * *

Henry Crawford was furious. He was furious at Maria for playing games with him. He had twice been turned away from Wimpole Street by claims that “Mrs. Rushworth was not at home today.” All the while her smug toad of a butler smirked at him. He was furious at the horrid Ferrars women that Maria seems to have latched on to, knowing who led this change in attitude and sudden spine in Maria. He was furious at Mary for taking him in hand. For pointing out what an embarrassment he was. That people had noticed his attentions to a married woman. A woman who clearly snubbed him. He was furious at Edmund Burtram for choosing now to pay attention. There was no doubt that Edmund Burtram had finally surfaced from the haze of Mary’s presence, enough to notice what was going on with his own sister. Edmund’s cold reception when they last met gave it away. Along with that smugly superior clergy look he was so good at. No doubt he would write to Fanny soon telling her all. Henry was self absorbed but he was not an idiot. He knew Fanny loved Edmund. He also saw Edmund loved the attention, he didn’t want her, but her devotion. To always be first in her affections without returning it.

He was furious at everyone, but mostly with himself. He had just begun to see a thaw in Fanny. Just begun to have her see him as worth respect. He now worried it would all be for nothing. To throw away his chance with Fanny over a moment of hurt pride was the dumbest thing he had ever done. It was just the first taste of what was to come. Mary was right, this is the reception he would receive from now on. All of the women whose affections he played with. Once news of his attachment became known they would be done with him. He was a commodity, once no longer on the market he would not be chased or fawned over. Was this the husband he planned to be. Throwing himself at every woman he had once toyed with, just to still feel important. Fanny had seen him for what he was. She knew this would happen. Constancy. That is the word she used. He swore to her he would prove his worth. That absence, distance and time would speak for him. Well they were and the story they told left him ashamed to a degree he had never known before. 

He could fix this. He would fix this. All was not lost. He would leave in the morning for Everingham. He would do his duty to his estate as he promised Fanny. As he should have done without her urging. He knew his duty to those he oversaw. Once that was finished he would return to Portsmouth. If Mary would travel with him he might convince Fanny to let him return her to Mansfield. Fanny was suffering there while he lounged in London paying other women attention. Mary would not be hard to convince. She had also felt the coldness of London, a hollow reception after what they left in Mansfield. Mary had grown tired of the London set, seeing it with clearer eyes. She did not want to admit it but she longed for the warmth of her sisters home again, Henry could see it. If Mary agreed he would write to Sir Thomas directly, with her Uncle's approval, and possibly appealing to her aunt's need for her fanny would gladly return, Especially if Susan was included. He called for his man, already beginning the arrangements necessary, now he just needed to find Mary.


	6. Wise enough to be contented

Chapter Six: Wise enough to be contented

Colonel Brandon had never felt his age so much as he did now. Returning to Delaford after settling matters for Eliza had left him wearied. Lashing out and challenging Willoughby had been as much about hoping for some punishment for himself as his anger at the cruel idiot. He had failed the younger Eliza just as he had her mother Eliza. He had failed to protect Miss Marianne as well, though not to the same degree. He may not have had a duty to do so, but he felt the failure just as keenly as if he did. He had been so glad to see her and Willoughby together. She was like a ghost of his lost love coming to haunt him, and Willoughby with the passion of youth seemed so much like himself at 18. To see her and Willoughby was like seeing what he and his lost Eliza could have had. It was finally seeing the happiness they were denied, play out vicariously through others. He could not help but be drawn to her, but not in the way John seemed to think. He held no delusions that he was a proper suitor for a 17 year old girl. He had seen those marriages among his contemporaries in the Army. Men who retired at 40 and married women barely past girlhood. It was not a recipe for domestic felicity. Ms. Marianne was also too close to young Eliza’s age, a child that would have been his in a kinder world. Now he had failed them both. He had sat by celebrating a wolf's arrival among his flock. 

Eliza and Willoughby’s child were now settled with a retired Army colleague and his wife. The couple had recently lost their only son in the service. They were more than willing to take Eliza and her son in. To claim them as the widowed daughter in law and grandchild they never got to have. Some money paid to another connection he had, made a special licence showing a marriage in Scotland appear. He should feel guilty at such a dishonesty, but he was past caring for such things. He was almost relieved Willoughby had refused to marry Eliza. He felt for the woman Willoughby had just married in town. At least now Eliza, or Mrs. Owens as she would be from now on still had a chance at making a life of her own with someone more deserving. 

Brandon was 36 years old, he still had not even begun to consider marrying, not since his Eliza was lost to him nearly 20 years earlier. He could no longer find any joy in returning to this empty house either. He longed for a family but had no notion of where to even begin. He had considered Miss Elinor Dashwood when she had first arrived, but it was quickly hinted by Mrs. Jennings that her affections lay elsewhere. Though having met the young man when he visited he was a little concerned about what was really going on there. It would never have worked anyway. The attention he had paid to Miss Marianne, while misunderstood, would look like he settled for Elinor as some sort of consolation. She deserved better than that. Just as Marianne deserved someone who saw her for herself and not a dead woman when he looked at her. He knew something needed to change but not what.

Eliza was settled, Ms. Marianne was mostly shielded from any fallout over Willoughby, and there was nothing more he could do to the damnable man. It was time to stop sulking in his empty house. Lurking like a ghost in a horrid novel. He had promised to return to Barton as soon as he had settled matters at Delaford. The Middletons could be a bit much, but they were good people at the core, and a promise was a promise. It would be nice to check in on Mrs. Dashwood and the girls as well. John had written to say he was back from London and Mrs. Jennings was to return from Cleveland as well. 

* * *

  
  


Anne could not remember ever being this happy, at least not since her mother's passing. For the first time since before she left for school she truly felt at home. She loved Kellynch as you would an old friend, but she was never so at home there as she had come to be at Barton Cottage. The Dashwood’s treated her like she was a member of the family not a visitor. Anne had never imagined family could be like this. Elinor, Marianne, and Margaret were everything one could want in sisters. Anne had always felt the best when of use to others, but here she was appreciated as well. Whether reading with Elinor while she drew, or working with Marianne on her playing, or helping in Margaret’s education she was always wanted, and always thanked. It was like spring had come to her as well as the land, she was blooming again after a long winter.

The many parties at Barton Park had been great as well. The Middleton’s and Mrs. Jennings manners were not what would have pleased some, but their honest goodwill and cheer was a balm to Anne. Reminding her much of the Crofts. Her and Marianne had taken turns playing. The young men of the neighborhood were often brought around by Sir John in an attempt to make Marianne forget Willoughby. While Marianne was handling his loss with a resolve that surprised her family, she was not yet ready to have attention paid to her by other fickle young men. So often Anne found herself dancing to allow Marianne the sanctuary of being behind the pianoforte. She knew none of the young men saw her as they saw Marianne, but she found she had missed dancing for its own sake.

She had come to hide behind music, while at the same time treating it with a mechanical and cold manner. That was changing. Before _“she knew that when she played she was giving pleasure only to herself; but this was no new sensation: expecting one short period of her life, she had never since the loss of her dear mother , known the happiness of being listened to, or encouraged by any just appreciation or real taste. In music she always used to feel alone in the world.”_ She was no longer alone in her music. It was hard to share music with Marianne and not feel passion for it again. Her greater technique was improving Marianne, and Marianne’s passion was bleeding into Anne’s playing. She always had a welcome audience as well. All of the Dashwoods loved when she would play and paid it the most rapt attention. It was the return of their friend Colonel Brandon that actually brought her best audience. He surprisingly played excellently as well, and held a great knowledge of music. He even demonstrated music he had learned traveling on some of the quieter evenings together like tonight. He would talk of music with Marianne, but seemed much more comfortable with the quiet discourse Anne offered. 

“So Brandon, are we finally to hear your fine voice? John has hinted at, Miss Marianne claims to know no duets, but I guarantee Miss Elliot’s greater knowledge has several.” Miss Jennings goaded them.

“Well Colonel, what do you think, would you be willing to perform?” Anne’s eager and willing countenance a stark contrast to the uncomfortable reaction he received from Marianne. 

The usually composed Brandon seemed thrown at her request and she feared she had over stepped, feeling too much at home, to have forget herself and tease such a man.

“Of course, who am I to refuse my gracious hosts. Miss Elliot would you select us a piece.” Brandon seemed to have shaken himself from whatever thoughts had paused him and joined her at the piano with a slightly wry smile. 

Anne focused herself fully on the piece they were playing, pushing all of her embarrassment and the sudden surge of other emotions, ones she could not begin to name, through the music. It was hard to stay so focused once Brandon’s portion of the piece began, his voice was like a sudden cool breeze against the back of her neck. She was particularly aware of it compared to the warmth that came from his presence beside her on the bench. 

Elinor was not entirely surprised to see the regard that was growing between her two friends. Considering how much she enjoyed each of their company, it was not a stretch that they would enjoy each other’s as well. It seemed to be more than that though. Her and Brandon had always had interesting and engaging conversations, but there was a polite civility to their discourse. It had always been like talking to an intelligent older relative. To see him and Anne when they were together, she barely recognized either. They both seemed to have come alive in the recent days, there was a shine to each of them. It was like watching the sun come out. Their song together had come to an end and they were still each seeming to take each other in without noticing the rest of the room. 

Her mother leaned in toward Elinor pretending to show her work she had brought. “I do not know how Sir John could have ever believed him to be partial to Marianne. I was not aware he was capable of such regard, so assumed him so reserved, but Sir John has been his friend for many years.” 

“Maybe he has never seen him like this either.” Elinor returned. 

“Well well, Miss Elliot, Brandon, I do not think I have ever seen such a performance.” Sir John stepped up to the piano smiling at Brandon in a rather suggestive manner.

“It is all owing to Miss. Elliot of course. We are lucky to be graced with such fine musicians in the neighborhood.” Finally tearing his eyes from Anne, he nodded in acknowledgement towards Marianne, giving her a much more mute and polite smile. 

Marianne smiled at the couple at the piano as well. Seeing the growing attachment between them was doing much to lighten her heart. She still felt Willoughby’s loss most keenly, but she was finding more happiness in her family circle. Hearing Anne’s story and seeing how she was moving on set an example Marianne had never considered. She had also been told by Mrs. Jennings enough of Brandon's history to know that he grieved a great loss as well. The two of them both so happy together, glowing just as she imagined she had for Willoughby gave her hope. She always fancied that one could only love once, but the more she pondered it the more she felt she had never truly loved Willoughby. Not really, she never knew the real him. The man that he was beneath the dancing and poetry. Maybe all was not lost for her as well. And for now it was wonderful to bask in the happiness of those she cared for.

* * *

  
  


When she agreed to come to London to visit Kensington Gardens Lucy had high hopes of what would come from it. She had hoped with the Miss Dashwoods away she would be invited to stay with Mrs. Jennings after a few weeks. It was the only consolation for Elinor being in Sussex with Edward where she could not follow. That never came to pass. With no companion Mrs. Jennings had gone directly to Cleveland for her grandchild’s birth and then returned to Barton. The Middletons leaving for the country shortly after. Lucy was nearing the end of her visit and had yet to even see Edward. He returned to London from his brother's wedding but did not remain with his mother. She had taken to having to lurk about the park near Oxford in hopes of running into him. 

Lucy was not blind to the change in him. He had returned to her Uncle’s this last time speaking highly of Miss Dashwood and withdrawn and stand offish. She was hurt by this change but also angry. She had plans for them, and he seemed content to put her off. It was well and good for him. Men could marry at any age. HE would never find himself “on the shelf.” If he would just announce their engagement to his family she was sure she could win his mother over. 

Lost in her anger she rounded the path outside Oxford plowing into a rather tall and heavy man. “Oh pardon me sir..”

“The fault must have been mine Miss, a fine and graceful lady such as yourself could never be at fault in such a matter.” He responded, oozing false sincerity.

Edward at this moment walked from the college lodgings. Noticing the company on the street he started to turn around to go back in before he was noticed. 

“Mr. Ferrars, pardon me Miss, Mr. Ferrars I was looking for you. I was asked to deliver this to you.” The man held out a small envelope. 

Edward was forced to walk toward the pair taking the item and acknowledging Lucy. “Thank you Collins. Miss Steele, I was not aware you were in town. How is your Uncle?” 

Lucy was livid, it was clear he had been avoiding her. Well she would show him. Turning on her most syrupy charm she turned to the other man. “I am visiting family, Mr. Ferrars and my Uncle is very well thank you, might you introduce me to your friend.” 

“Oh yes I am sorry, Mr Collins, this is Miss Steele the niece of Mr. Pratt who I was educated with. Miss Steele, Collins is an oxford fellow as well.” 

“Oh how wonderful to meet you Mr. Collins, are you of London or have you a parish waiting for you?” Lucy asked of him

“I have been selected to take over the Hunsford parsonage near Rosings Park, Lady Catherine De Bourgh selected me herself. I am truly humbled to be selected for patronage by such a fine and noble lady. “ Collins began. 

“I am so sorry to have to interrupt but I am due.. for a meeting immediately, it was wonderful to see you Miss Steele, Collins.” Edward fled down the street leaving the two new acquaintances. 

Well it was clear he never planned to act. That did not mean she could not. Collins did not seem like anything himself but an introduction to the De Bourghs was nothing to sneeze at. “Oh Rosings is supposed to be one of the finest estates in the country. Do you have time to tell me about it Mr. Collins.” Lucy asked, boldly linking her arm in his. 

Shocked at the gesture but clearly impressed with the attention to himself, Mr. Collins allowed Lucy to lead toward the nearby park. “Oh course Miss Steele, the chimney piece alone…”


	7. Opposite inclinations and doubtful notions

Chapter Seven: Opposite inclinations and doubtful notions

Following Edmund's letter about Miss Crawford and his time in London, Fanny swore she would never wish for another letter. The letters that had followed it over the last month had left her emotions in the same tumultuous waves. Edmund had most likely never written to or visited Miss Crawford. Her aunt Bertram had written to tell her of Tom’s illness, and Edmund's care of him. This abrupt departure from Mansfield and worry for Tom would have distracted him. Miss Crawford would not asked for news of Edmund had he written her. Miss Crawford’s letters to Fanny had become frequent the last month. The regularity in itself would have been a surprise, but the tone also seemed to have changed from her first letters in London. Mary had agreed to travel with her brother to Everingham. Fanny originally blamed this removal from the enjoyments of London for the more somber tone. Later letters had confided that Miss Crawford had found her time in London less than enjoyable. Her latest letter seemed to explain why, and show more awareness than Fanny was used to hearing from her. 

_My Dearest Fanny,_

_How I wish you were already my sister, so I could have had you here with me at Everingham. I miss Mansfield ever so much. Several ladies of the neighborhood have paid visits. Though their company can no way compare to that of you and my dear Mrs. Grant. They are all very sweet girls, but posse no real culture or appreciation. I cannot talk to them as I do you. Though they are still an improvement over London. My dear, you are lucky I am not prone to miss place blame or I would be very cross with you for taking Henry’s attention. As it is I guess I should thank you. Without the rumors Mrs. Rushworth started of Henry being quite taken with you I would not have known the false nature of many I had previously called friend. My presence was not half as welcome in London this season once it no longer included access to Henry. Even my married friends seemed to see Henry as the property of some relative or another that they wanted settled._

_I thought Mrs. Rushworth would be at least one corner of safety from such designs. It appears to me she, despite her marriage, is much put out by Henry’s attentions to you. I never noticed her jealousy of you before so I can only guess she once had some design in regard to Henry. Her coldness toward both of us, and mocking comments with the simpering Mrs. Ferrars, her new dear friend, were all I could bear. I never thought she would have any feelings for Henry as she was an engaged woman. Her anger is very severe. I could not believe it. It makes me fear that Julia may have felt the same. I thought her upset over the play to be just that of a younger sister looked over for her elder by the group. Not specifically over Henry. They seemed fine with each other when they departed for Brighton, so I hope there was no upset between the sisters permanently._

_I warned Henry that those who did not know him as well may not be able to tell his playful, meaningless flirtations from his true attentions. It would go far to explain also why you seemed so shocked when he proposed to you. If you thought he was just being gallant with you as he had to them. He believed you would see the difference between his playful words with them versus his real actions to make you happy. He never goes out of his way to flirt, but would take any inconvenience to himself if it made you happy. Need only look at his trip to specifically introduce William to our Uncle. I told him that you had not had many suitors to have learned the difference. Brothers are so frustrating, when they don’t listen._

_I doubly wish to be back to Mansfield now that Mrs. Grant has returned. Mr. Grant did not find Bath to his liking, after some incident with an old acquaintance and is home in worse spirits than ever. I wish I could be there to comfort and distract her. I know you understand. Mrs. Grant mentioned some upset to Tom that had Lady Bertram worried. I know you long to be of service to her. I wish you would let us return you home. I know you fear being an imposition but it would not be. Even Sir Thomas would see you as a relief to his wife._

_I hope whatever plans are made will be settled soon, I do also hope you will let us come for you so that I can meet this delight of a sister Henry spoke of. He assures me I will adore her as I do you. I have many new responsibilities as hostess for Henry that I must go now address. Another reason for me to wish you had said yes, then these duties would be on your shoulders instead. I hope we are together again soon._

_Yours ever, Mary_

  
  


“Fanny you are frowning at your letters again.” Fanny looked up Susan smiling over a book in there little room. Susan’s smile turned more serious “I wish you would tell me why you find hearing from friends so vexing, are they all that awful, it is like Mr. Crawford. He seems wonderful and you will not say a word against him, but you did not seem to wish for his return either..”

“Well it is from Mary Crawford, it is just, well disconcerting. Very like her and unlike her at once.” Fanny responded trying to sort her feelings in regards to the letter. Much of it showing more of the Mary that Edmund spoke of. One who was not a bad person, just someone who had not been given the opportunity or example to learn to be better. Being here looking at Susan who Fanny cared for dearly, but who was just learning to express herself better made her notice it even more. Fanny was slowly guiding Susan to a better way of going about things. Taking the time to talk with her, to recommend reading, just as Edmund had done for her. Just as no one had done for Mary. Mrs. Grant was not given access to her once they moved to their Aunt and Uncles. The time at Mansfield with Mrs. Grant changed her already. Made her see the problems with the London attitudes. It was easy to think it was a difference of character, of quality, but if her Uncle had never taken her to Mansfield where her opinions were shaped would she really have been any different than Mary. Fanny suddenly felt very very confused and wished she could talk of it.

Susan seemed to see this, “You know you can talk to me, it is not gossip to share your experiences with family, to talk through things. Dear Fanny you do not have to always be so alone in every care.” she took up Fanny’s hand. 

“When did you get so grown up? I am supposed to be the older sister taking care of you.” Fanny asked her.

“We are sisters, we take care of each other.” Susan reminded her.

Fanny was convinced. She had been so afraid to speak to Edmund of what happened. Not wishing to speak ill of someone he may marry, or to tattle on his sisters. Telling Susan did not feel like tattling or slander the way it would have with him. Having a true friend and trusted confident was something she had always longed for. 

Fanny over the next few days took the time to confide much of what had happened since the Crawford's arrival. Susan was a great listener, and as someone more bold and more lively saw things in a different light than Fanny. Susan was willing to see the Crawfords more like she hoped for herself, good people who do not always know better. The tale also helped Susan to see some moral issues in a clearer way. Both sisters were better for the confidence. This talk also changed the tone Fanny approached in returning Mrs. Crawford's letter. When it was returned she spent much time encouraging the better parts of it, while letting just a little disapproval show for parts she did not. While Mary was not her younger sister a little guidance could not be amiss. 

* * *

  
  


Mary Crawford was enjoying being host to Henry. She had always longed for him to be home more so she could just live with him. It alleviated much of the boredom that always had her seeking London. She had previously thought the country had no entertainment compared to London. While the society was not as interesting or polished, and there were no plays, there were other events and always things to arrange. Henry had also arranged for a harp to be bought as well. The wife of the local parson, Mrs. Sinclair made for a wonderful audience for her playing, as awestruck as if at the grand music halls in London. She reminded Mary of Fanny in her sweetness even if she could not seem to keep up with Mary’s conversation. She had also read some of the books Fanny had been talking of, not wishing to be left out of the conversations Edmund and Fanny had. While none of them were enjoyable, they did give her much to ponder while she practiced her harp or made dinner menus or servants schedules. The new reading also helped distract her from the uncertainty the last trip to London had given her. 

She had never had a good view of matrimony having lived with her Uncle’s mistreatment of her dear departed aunt. Having spent time with Mrs. Grant had given her a wonderful view of the ideals for a wife to be. She always made her home a wonderful place for Mary, despite Doctor Grant's quarrelsome and discontented nature. But Mary wished for something more. Just as Sir Thomas showed her a new ideal of what a husband could be. However Lady Bertram and her sister both seemed to undermine the quality of their home. Lady Stowaway and Mrs. Frazier had both married well according to society, even in the opinion of her late Aunt, but neither were happy. She had never seen any couple actually happy. She thought a man of wealth and class was all she needed, but her so called friends and their unhappiness showed income and distinction brought little back home to them. It is fun to lord over someone in a ballroom, but that status does not fix problems at home. 

Mary did not need to marry for money, she had a comfortable living of her own. She did however want a family. The better she married the better her children would be placed. But at what cost, if they had a father as indolent and stupid as Rushworth, or as quarrelsome and cold as Lord Stornaway. The train of thought had her imagining Edmund as a father. The comparison was rather impressive. He had all the qualities of Sir Thomas with a warmer and more approachable disposition. But could she really be happy the wife of a clergyman? Mrs. Sinclair did seem to be made much of in her parish, always having something to arrange or do. Local women seemed to look to her in matters of advice they could not take to the parson as a man. It would be giving up the season in London, but Henry would always have a house in town. A house that if Fanny would marry him, that she and Edmund would likely visit often. 

Mary longed to be able to talk all of this through with Mrs. Grant. Hopefully it would not be long now. Her sister would be traveling to Everingham to meet them. Her brilliant sister had fixed Henry’s wish to get Fanny away from Portsmouth. She brought up their offer to Lady Bertram and told her how she could have Fanny back to assist her, and Susan as well. When Lady Bertram had lamented her loss and asked Sir Thomas, he said he could not allow Fanny to travel with only an unmarried woman as chaperone. When Mrs. Grant was told she fixed this as well by claiming she had promised to go see Everingham and would gladly accompany us to Portsmouth. So it was now all settled. Sir Thomas had invited Susan to stay and cleared with the Prices that my sister would accompany them home to Mansfield. 

* * *

  
  


“Lizzy, come in come in. You must hear this.” Elizabeth entered her father’s book room at his prompt, sitting down on the sofa near the fire. 

“That officious toad that is to inherit has written to me again today. Your mother will be so disappointed. It would appear he no longer wishes to visit as he no longer needs to treat my daughters as a cattle market with easy pickings to make him a wife.” Mr. Bennet showed her the letter laughing. 

“Mama is going to be awful.” Handing the letter back to her father she leaned back resting her face in her hand. Without this distraction and hope of keeping Longbourn her mother was going to be all over Jane to secure Mr. Bingley. 

“Do not tell me you are sad to have missed out Lizzy, the man sounds like a ridiculous boot lick. What horrible woman the former Miss Steele must be to have married him. Though from what I remember of Lady Catherine the time I met her in my youth his wife will need to be quite a manipulator to be at all happy under the thumb of that harpy.” Mr. Bennett seemed concerned that Lizzy was not sharing his joke. 

“No, Papa it is not him. It is Mama, she is already pushing Jane so hard. I am worried she will spook Bingley.” Elizabeth admitted 

“Pissst, if he is so easily scared off he does not deserve our sweet Jane anyway.” Mr. Bennett responded. He had never been very impressed with Charles Binley. He saw that Jane was quite taken with him, but didn’t think much would come of it. If he were a more worthwhile prize he may have given up his tranquility to keep his wife from interfering. Bingley was like every other fool man, running after every pretty face. Jane deserved someone who could see her for her kindness as well. Pretty faces did not stay pretty after all. He had made that mistake himself. If Bingley could be scared off by a pushy mother and silly younger sisters he did not deserve Jane. Though he never thought anyone deserved his elder girls. He was disappointed at missing out on the entertainment of Mr. Collins visit. He was also not looking forward to his wife's reaction. But he was a little relieved that he would never have to deal with such a son in law. Jane or Lizzy would never have taken him, but if he had played his cards right he might have appealed to Mary and her overinflated sense of duty. He hoped she refrained from settling for some stuffy clergy member long enough for her sisters to marry. Mary would benefit much from a season or two out from behind her sister's shadow. Well enough peace he must go break the news to his wife that she could not sell one of her daughters to keep Longbourn. 

* * *

  
  


Miss Louisa Musgrove having finally returned home to Uppercross, Benwick was able to take back his rooms at the Harvilles. Which was both more comfortable for him, and gave him an excuse to always fetch their post. He had come to recognize Miss Elliot’s writing on Mrs. Harvilles letters. He had dreaded the day that Anne would part company with the Dashwoods and he would no longer hear of them. His fears had been waylaid when Mrs. Harville had shared with him news that Anne was to return to their home in Barton Park with them.

He had decided to take Mrs. Dashwood up on her warm invitation to visit anytime he was in the neighborhood. He suspected that they would not be able to host him especially with Anne there so he had made some inquiries with friends in Exeter. He had a cousin there who had been glad to have him spend some time with him. That would put him within a morning's ride of the Dashwoods. Anne had not written of anything being amiss, but he still felt awful dropping such news on them as they departed. He longed to check on Marianne. It would be amazing to hear Marianne play as well. Anne did speak often in her letters to Mrs. Harville of the time they spent in music. 

Fredrick had looked rather wistful at the plan. He was to return to Kellynch tomorrow, departing at the same time as Benwick. He had returned the day before not appearing to be at all disappointed in seeing Miss Musgrove gone. Having had the chance to get to know Anne he could see why Fredrick was sad to have been refused all those years ago. What he did not understand is why Fredrick never tried for her again. It would be a kick in the teeth to be refused by the same woman twice, but some things are more important than your pride. Benwick did not think it would have been too hard for Fredrick to sway her this time, she clearly still cared for him and Fredrick could now offer her a comfortable life. Miss Musgrove was a nice and pretty girl, but she was not really of the same caliber as the Miss Dashwoods or Anne. Elinor, Marianne, Anne and himself had had several conversations debating artists and authors' works in their time here, when Louisa had started to recover they tried to include her only to have her fein exhaustion anytime anything of substance came up. She did not read even before her injury. He really did not understand what these schools taught young ladies these days. He could not understand what Fredrick was about in having pursued her in the first place, but such concerns were not his. His concern was getting to Barton to check on his Marianne.


	8. A great deal of truth

Chapter Eight: A great deal of truth

Henry never thought he would be so happy to be settling in at a country parsonage. Mrs. Grant was showing herself to be a much better sister than he had ever deserved as her brother. She had made all the arrangements to convince Sir Thomas to let him retrieve Fanny and Susan. Came to Everingham to help them prepare, and to act as chaperone. She had even gone so far as to remind him that his sister had no horse at Mansfield other than to exclude Fanny by using hers. This last made him feel even more awful. All of their wonderful rides last year had not excluded Fanny because she did not wish to go, but because Edmund was equipping his sister. Henry set this right immediately. Sending his milder hunter that could be used for pleasure riding as well for himself and two mares he kept that would suit a lady ahead to the parsonage. If Edmund was to deprive Fanny of the horse she rode he would equip her himself. 

It went back to the advice Mary had given him at Everingham. He had put the house before the cart by proposing to Fanny and putting her on the spot. He had been arrogant enough to assume that every woman wanted him and all he needed to do was ask. One nice act in helping William would not win Fanny. Constancy had been the word she used with him. He had failed the first test, flirting again with Mrs. Rushworth in London. He would do better from now on. He had gotten all of the estate matters in Everingham set before he traveled and would be keeping a much closer eye on his steward and his affairs from here on out. He would also stay in contact with the parson and another official from town nearby to have multiple views on what was going on. 

The trip from Portsmouth had not left him much time with Fanny, but he had tried to show his care for her in the care of all of the party. She was very thankful for the help in taking her home. Letters the past week had evidenced a turn for the worse in Tom. Edmund had returned home with him only to have his illness worsened by travel. He had barely handed Fanny through her Uncle’s door before her Aunt was hanging about her crying. He hoped Fanny could be a comfort to the woman, but also hoped they did not ask too much of her. Her health was not great after so long in the dank of the city. Henry would mention this to Edmund when they spoke tonight. Edmund had been with his brother but a note set down said he would like to meet with him this evening. So he had left his sisters to their own devices and Doctor Grant to his post dinner nap, to walk up to Mansfield. 

Shown into the study he was surprised to find only Edmund there. “Hello, is your father well, and how does Tom fair” he asked.

“Crawford, my man, it is great to see you. He is actually preparing to depart. He had business that cannot wait in London and Julia wrote that she will be staying with cousins he is less than fond of. So he has decided she should return home. He will retrieve her as well. He does not wish to be away with Tom when he is so ill but it cannot be helped. Tom is not doing well, he cannot be left alone at all. Fanny has taken it upon herself to sit with him when I must be away. She was able to settle my mother down and get her comfortable with Susan to attend her. They have both been a godsend. Thank you so much for bringing them home. I actually hate to ask but I could use your help on a few matters as well. Father is supposed to judge a few tenant disputes tomorrow afternoon that he does not want left to a steward. I agreed but these matters were taught to Tom not myself. So I would be very grateful for a second opinion, especially one used to dealing with issues of estate matters.” Edmund looked very abashed at having to ask for help.

“No worry, I would be glad to help with any matter of the estate I can. I am idle here, and you are not only my friend but Fanny’s family. To ease your concerns are to ease hers.” Crawford reassured him. His jealous anger over Fanny’s affection for Edmund forgotten in his friend’s need.

* * *

  
  


Louisa may not have been the smartest girl of her acquaintance, but she was not completely unaware of what happened around her. She had not been the only one altered that day on the Cobb. She was afraid all of the time. She did not even know why, it was not a logical response. Every loud noise or crash had her seeing the pavement rushing for her and blackness ensuing. She slept badly sometimes, fearing she was back in the space when she could hear voices but not make herself wake. Trapped within her own body. Harville had understood, he called it shell shock. Said it was much the same as he had from his time of injury in the war. Whatever it was she was different. She did not want to run and dance and jump and sing. She was tired out by her fear. Captain Wentworth was different as well. At first she had taken the cooling of his regard for her to be him disliking the changes in her. No longer interested because she was no longer fun or bold. But once he had returned to Kellynch he was angry and distracted, mad at himself and sullen. They had talked about the accident each taking their own blame and making it clear neither blamed the other. While he seemed relieved at this and it had been one of their more pleasant talks it had not removed the guilt and weariness he seemed to carry. 

His demeanor had only worsened over the last few days ending with him requesting that she walk a while with him so they might have a private conversation.

“Miss Louisa, now that your health has improved it is time we clear up a matter that seems to be hanging over us.” Fredrick began “ I have come to realize that my actions of the last few months have given rise to a certain belief amongst the neighborhood. So it is only right that I make an offer and let you know that should you wish it my hand is yours.” 

“And what of your heart?” Louisa asked, stopping along the path and looking at him. 

Fredrick looked away not wishing to answer, but Louisa just left the question to hang until he did so, after a few minutes he responded. “Given to another a long time ago.”

“Well then Captain, I thank you for your HONORABLE offer, but I must decline. I have no wish to be bound to a man who views me as an obligation only. We have both changed much over the last few weeks and I cannot believe we suit each other as we once would have. I will let my family know you offered and I could not in good conscience accept.” Louisa steeled herself, trying not to be hurt by the look of relief that came over him.

“Thank you for your consideration and I understand why you refuse. I respect you greatly for doing so.” Fredrick took her hand kissing the back with a bow, smiling for the first time in weeks he made his departure.

Louisa may not be as smart as Anne, or as sweet as Henrietta, she may be scared by what happened but she knew what she wanted, and she wanted the type of devotion her father had for her mother, that the Admiral had for Mrs. Croft, the kind the Harvilles shared. She would be not be the chain dragging someone to the bottom of the sea. She would be the sun they always sailed home toward.

* * *

  
  


“Poor young man! If he is to die, there will be two poor young men less in the world.” Mary remarked to her sister. Discussing her day at the Park and how the Bertrams were doing. 

Mrs. Grant looked at Mary completely aghast. Pausing for several minutes before responding “Do you wish your brother-in-law died and I thrown from the parsonage as well. So that Edmund may have his full income and be more appealing to you now?” Her tone cold and disapproving.

Mary began to cry “No sister, I would never want anything bad to befall you.” 

“But you wish Tom dead for His brother’s advancement?” Mrs. Grant asked her.

“Of course not, I do not actually want harm to come to Tom. I just..It is just a joke.. The way people talk.” Mary explained. 

“No sister, it may be the way those horrible friends of yours in London talk, but most do not speak in such a playful manner of wishing someone’s death. Imagine if Edmund had heard you. How would you feel to hear someone say so of Henry, you inherit his estate as of now. Should Edmund wish him dead so he might be enriched. No? I am disappointed in you Mary. I believe you can be a very kind girl, but at some point it is time to grow up and think of others as well as yourself. If you will excuse me I must see to the dinner arrangements.”

Mary sat crying in her window seat with her cooling tea for a while. Her sister was right, she would be heartbroken to hear her kind Edmund say such of Henry. She did not even know why she said it, she liked Tom and while she wanted the best for Edmund he would not want distinction in such a way. It was just her attempt to lighten the mood and be witty the way people were in town. They often joked on serious matters, but they were just playful words. Were not they? Lady Stornoway often joked of being a widow, but if Mary was being honest with herself in retrospect the woman was not necessarily being flippant. She really did despise the husband she had sworn before god to honor. Was that the kind of horrible person she wanted to be. The way her sister had looked at her, broke her heart. Mrs. Grant was all that was good and kind. If she said it was cruel, it was. How had Mary let herself get like this. She felt awful. She would return to Mansfield tomorrow, not to alleviate her own boredom but to offer real help. She could not help Tom to make amends but she could sit with Lady Bertram and help Susan. Fanny would be able to help Tom more if she did not have to worry about her sister. Maybe they could share reading from the book Fanny had lent her. 

* * *

  
  


The time Benwick had spent in Exeter with his cousin had been amazing. He had not spent time with Jamie since they just out of boyhood. Before he went into the navy. To spend time with his Lizzy and their little ones had been a taste of family he had not realized he missed. Jamie had seen through the pretense of the sudden wish for the visit, teasing the entire story out of him. It had been great to be able to talk to someone of it. Harville was a brother to him but having been Fanny’s brother he could not feel comfortable talking of developing feelings for another woman with him. Benwick knew Harville wanted the best for him and for him to move on but it was painful for all of them to consider. Wentworth, well Fredrick had his own worries to focus on. Jamie had finally shooed him away after four days with directions to the village near Barton Park where he could be directed to his “lovely ladies” as Jamie called them. The morning ride had been most pleasant among the hills and developing spring. Jamie was right; he had barely mentioned the name Dashwood before a smirking old woman had directed him up the road closer to the park. 

He was shown into the small parlor surprised to already find it very crowded. Though there was no lack of excitement for his arrival. 

“Captain '' Miss Marianne, Miss Margaret and Mrs. Dashwood all burst at once. He managed to hold in a snicker as he was greeted more sedately by Miss Dashwood and Miss Elliot. Then introduced to the Gentleman, who were Sir John and Colonel Brandon. Each man gave him the critical eye he would expect of a brother or father. It was actually quite reassuring to know someone was looking out for the Dashwoods. They all pleasantly talked for a quarter of an hour before Sir John rose to depart.

“Well Captain it is delightful to have you in the neighborhood. I had just come to invite the ladies for dinner tonight. I insist you join us, and for our picnic tomorrow as well.” John addressed Benwick

“I am honored by your invitation Sir, but I am afraid I am only here for afternoon visits. I am lodging in Exeter and must depart while there is still light if I am to return.” Benwick admitted knowing the Dashwoods could not house him with Anne there and seeing no inn in the village. 

“Nonsense, I will send a boy for your things and you can just stay at the Park, I will not have no, we adore company and it is thin on the ground this time of year. Do you shoot, Brandon and I will be going in the morning and we could always use a fresh eye.” John steam rolled over all protests demanding a yes.

“I am a fair shot sir, I would be honored to join you then if you are sure it is not an inconvenience.” Benwick replied smiling at Marianne.

John seeing her smile back, smiling for the first time since Willoughby left merely collected his hat and said “no more arguments your things will be waiting for you at the park when your visit is done.”

  
  


* * *

Edward stood at the stoop of the townhouse gathering courage. He was dining with his mother, not facing a dragon. Though the latter felt like a more apt description. He had been called back to her presence after a month banished. He had taken orders and begun to apply for a curacy, knowing that his meager income would not be enough with his mother withholding what his father had meant for him. If only his father had formally required it be vested on him at his majority instead of trusting his mother to do what's right. But his father had always mistaken her good head for financial matters for a blanket sense. Ignoring the social climbing, greed and arrogance that often made up the rest of her thoughts. His father's illness had lasted for a long time and being able to count on his mother to run the business while he was ill made him trust much in her. But she lacked the softer hand and honor of his father in her dealings. His illness had seen many good tenants passed over for less worthy ones who were willing to be more prompt in their payment and pay higher rents. Families that had worked the land for generations driven off. Robert and Fanny had taken after her in much the same way, being away at school for much of their childhood and only returning when Father was too ill to steer them in a better direction. Edward remembered much time spent with Father and then Mr. Pratt learning of his duty to those on his lands as well as their management. 

He steeled himself and entered the drawing room of his mother's expensive house in town. Trying to remind himself that he not only owned his mother honor as his mother but as the only person left standing between himself and gaining his independence.

“Edward have a seat, we have some time before your brothers and sisters arrive for dinner. How has your time spent in obscurity treated you? Do you begin to see my point about not marrying someone impoverished.” His mother sniffed at him talking down to him like an errant toddler. 

“You mean like Robert did.” He replied instantly forgetting his promise to act better. 

“That is vastly different than wanting to marry some country nobody with no connections and questionable breeding, not to mention no social graces to speak of. A dumpy little field mouse. Unlike the daughter of Lord Morton.” Mrs. Ferrars returned

“So Fanny marries a Dashwood and they are worthy, but his more intelligent and sensible sister is below him. Robert can marry the daughter of a spendthrift baronet without a shilling to her name and it is fine, but Miss Dashwood’s 3000 pounds is too little. Money we would not even need if you were not withholding what Father wished me to have, withholding it to enrich Fanny who does not need it, and Robert who cannot manage living in his means. The only true difference is that they hang on your apron string gushing praise over your highhanded and wrongful notions. So sorry that I am not also a simpering idiot. Father would be rightly ashamed of what you have done with the power he trusted you with. I am sorry but it appears I have no appetite and will not be dining with you tonight. Give _your actual children_ my regards.” Edward stormed out of his mother's house and into the street. 

As he walked he calmed, regretting his anger. Not because he had been wrong but because he could not propose to Elinor on the income they had. He had made that foolish mistake once before, with Lucy. Though that ended up being for his benefit in the end. She had written him a most ridiculous letter bragging about her new fiance and her connections to Lady Catherine. She was right in that his affections had gone elsewhere. He hated himself for it but it was true. He had owed Ms. Steele more, whether she ever truly cared for him or not. He had made a promise and should have kept it. Though he would have to send Collins something nice for taking that off his hands. It had been too late when he saw her for what she was, so much like Fanny and his mother. Funny to think that given the chance she would have won them over even more so than Robert's wife had, always being willing to flatter and bend, the three of them would have adored her. It was why they hated Elinor so much, she refused to bow and scrape before them. 

He wished he could go to Elinor this second and explain, explain about Lucy, explain about his mother. He could not go though, he had to stay and try to find a proper living or a curacy to get him through. Once that was secured he could at least go and explain, and beg for forgiveness if not her hand. He knew he had been awful to stay once he started to love her, especially once others began to notice. He was even more wrong to have visited them without ever giving the explanation of his engagement. That was what he went there for. He was too much of a coward to do so. He could have explained again at the wedding, instead he had avoided her like a child caught at something he shouldn't, putting off punishment. He had hoped that keeping his distance would stop the cruelty of his family toward her, but it just seemed to embolden them. There was no hope for it now. A roof over his head came first. 

* * *

Brandon had been leery of Captain Benwick at first. Too much of his story mirroring how the Dashwoods had met Willoughby. Seeing too much of him in the way he doted on Marianne, whispering lines of poetry to her last night after dinner. He was relieved when John asked him to stay and hunt with them though. It was giving him time to get to know the man, and the more he heard the more he liked. Benwick being the one to tell Marianne of Willoughby’s marriage and his cold fury at the man, endeared him much to Brandon. His inquiry and genuine concern for news of Eliza even more so. It was awkward to have a stranger know so much of his life but it was soon repaid when Benwick told them the tale of his lost Fanny. He also seemed to care much for Ms. Elliot as the current interrogation was beginning to show.

“I have not known Ms. Elliot for very long, but she has come to be very important to the Harvilles, and a friend to us all.” Benwick seemed to think on it “and she is not without support because her father does not pay his due attention. There are many who would not like to see her trifled with. Not after..” Never addressing Brandon directly, talking instead to Sir John but watching him nonetheless.

Brandon could not help but laugh “Well that is something that has never been implied about me before. Was not Miss Marianne scolding me last night for being too serious about everything? You need not worry about your friend though Captain, I hold nothing but the highest respect for her without any thought of threats of a father. When you come across a rare bloom others neglected in the wild you are careful in your approach to transplant it.” 

  
  


Smirking at the younger man’s serious demeanor, but trying to make it clear what he intended. For intend it he did. He would not rush either of them, giving them time for her to settle to the idea. He did not know what had happened before but it was clear she spoke of a heartbreak when she talked to Marianne. The idea came to him that he had a way to find out. “Though speaking of that neglect, I am curious which of you gentlemen in Lyme were to blame for part of it. Miss Marianne mentioned Miss Elliot wanting to be away from “the captain” there for such reasons. It would be easier to know how to approach Miss Elliot if I knew what had happened, you would not happen to be the captain in question?” Brandon returned his fierce and accusing look, barely keeping his composure at his trick, knowing it was not Benwick.

“Absolutely not, I do not know what Fredrick was thinking. If it had been me I would have never acted so.” Benwick retorted offended at the implication and not realizing he had answered. 

“So Fredrick then. That should make it easier to get an answer out of Miss Dashwood.” Brandon smiled smugly taking aim at their next target. 

Benwick, fearing what the blunt Elinor would say in anger at the treatment of her friend figured it was better to have the story come from someone who did not want Wentworth's head. He sighed and started the tale of the rejected man he met eight years ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you are all enjoying this, it has taken some odd turns from what I planned. The outline says one thing and another seems to flow out of my fingers. Such as "Edward begs his mother to allow him to marry Elinor" in the outline became Edward tells his mother where she can turn it sideways and stick it.


	9. Attentive and affectionate respect

Chapter Nine: Attentive and affectionate respect

Henry Crawford had been raised to believe that respect was inherent to position and owed to those with power and status. “Proper respect” had been something the Admiral had harped on regularly. The past weeks at Mansfield had given Henry a very different view on what “proper respect” looked like. What he had always taken for respect in town and on his own estate was merely obedience, not respect. Having seen the real thing here, the difference was shocking. Many of his afternoons were spent helping Edmund. They settled disputes among tenants, rode the land checking for needed repairs, and checked in with certain local officials. At Mansfield a steward was merely an assistant. A man who handled the how, not the what. They had also spent a few days riding over to Thornton Lacy to ensure matters were being taken care of there in his absence. The current curate would not be out of contract until Michaelmas but as the proper owner Edmund still liked to check in and hear of his parishioners. 

Seeing the way Edmund was treated on his father’s lands was eye opening. Even people he had never dealt with before had a respect for him through his father that made them listen and obey, but also to trust him and look to his guidance. When Tom took over he would have the built in respect as his father’s son until he did something to undermine it. What was he passing on to his sons at Everingham? An estate that he spent so little time on he still became lost when riding sometimes. Tenants who tolerated his rule and presence only because they had to. Resources that were in no way used to their full advantage. He had studied Shakespeare and Byron, the Kings of England, not crop rotation and the best animals to pasture on which type of lands. 

Yesterday he had been asked to help Edmund decide the rights of grazing on land that was also a thoroughfare, so was rented to neither adjoining tenant. Each was allowed to graze on it but it was public usage and all could. Disputes and fights kept arising between the two adjoining properties. Edmund had taken one look at the map and known the land in question was mostly rocky hills that sheep could easily graze but not cows. So it was only fair for the Easterly neighbor with the sheep to take his flock further north to graze the rocky land leaving the smaller but closer area for his neighbors with the cows. When the sheep farmer was told he would have to graze further away Henry expected problems. But not with Edmund there listening to him, and explaining that it was only fair as he would be benefiting from significantly more land. Edmund never threatened but he did talk about the good of everyone and if problems arose further the land would have to be fenced from the east and west to prevent all grazing out of fairness. This gentle rebuke that he was fighting over something that was not his to begin with while being made to feel he got the larger portion left him content with the decision. He even thanked Edmund for taking the time to work it out for them. Henry had quickly realized that while he was a great help to Edmund in terms of knowing how to order supplies from London, or the tithe one could expect from a furrier wanting to set up shop on land, Henry was the one receiving the education in dealing with people. 

The Admiral had always had a way of speaking of those of different social classes as if he was talking of herds or horses in his stable. An asset to be of use but really not his problem. The time spent here at Mansfield Edmund had always treated the people as people, and looked at the duty owed to them as well as the profit they made. 

The real blow was to realize that Fanny looked at Edmund that same way, with respect. He knew she did not yet care for him but it was hard to realize she had not respected him either. He had only now begun to receive that look himself. When he discussed the day's events with her before returning to the parsonage. When he asked her opinion on matters his steward wrote to him. When he asked after Tom, and showed concern for how Susan was settling in. Sir Thomas had called these looks “a thaw” when he noticed them prior to Fanny going to Portsmouth, but it was a far stretch to call them affection. They were merely respectful. But with Fanny he had come to realize gaining her respect went farther to gaining her love then any attraction of feeling. 

Finally needing to speak with someone about this belief he confided in Mary his experience and his whole view on respect versus attraction. 

“Henry, I know just what you mean. But sadly, we realized it too late to let the course of our lives run smoothly. I found myself attracted by what I thought were feelings toward Edmund, but really it was seeing the respect he commanded that attracted me. I returned by drawing his attraction but never his respect. While I was drawn to the way people respected him, I did not respect him in the same way. I saw his honor as a hindrance to his monetary and social success. I know he has grown to care for me, but what have I done to make him respect me? What would happen should we marry when that attraction fades as it is prone to?” Mary poured her worries out to her brother as well.

Henry looked at her considering “So have you decided against him then?” sad for his friend but beginning to calculate what Mary’s refusal might mean. 

“Oh no, you misunderstand me Henry, it is quite the opposite. I still think I have ever met a man that can compare to him. My realization is that it is not just him that needs to move to bridge the gap between us. I still believe he needs to relax some and enjoy life more, but the larger portion of the changing needs be mine.” Mary responded.

“And this will make you happy? To change who you are, to be what he wants you to be?” Henry asked.

“You mean as you have for Fanny?” Mary asked, cocking a brow and giving her brother the saucy smile she never could lose.

“It was not about Fanny...well it was at first, but we saw how long that lasted. What really changed it was thinking about the future I could have, and would have if I kept on as I was. The same with this time here, being respected and listened to. I love Uncle greatly, but the more I see the more I do not want the life he led. I want more for my sons than what we had. I may think Sir Thomas is a little too stiff, but I hope to land somewhere between the extremes. Hopefully with Fanny by my side, but if that does not come to pass I still like the man I am now better than the one who stood in Mrs. Rushworth’s drawing room, especially more than the one who stood on a theater stage here.” Henry justified himself, trying to make Mary understand.

“Yet you think me incapable of coming to the same realization. To see husband’s such as Sir Thomas and compare them to Lord Stornoway. To have the counsel of our sister here and not see her virtue in comparison to the life my dear Aunt lived. Our sister is a woman of respect. One who the women of this estate come to because they cannot approach their lady. Even you see it Henry, you did not go for one of my friends in town, a woman who thought and acted as I did this summer. You found the ideal of a wife and the chance at happiness in a woman who you can respect. I want the same.” Mary steeled her posture. “ I may not be there yet, but I will be a woman who demands people’s respect even when I can no long command their attentions.”

Henry sat back seeing his sister as if for the first time. “Well then my dear what a fearsome respectable little family we will become.” Returning her saucy smile and laughing

* * *

For the first time in a long time Anne felt her age. Not was aware of it, or worried about it, or was ashamed of it, but  _ felt it. _ It was amazing and liberating. She had not realized how trapped she was at Kellynch. Frozen in a moment at 19 years old, never changing, never growing. The girl left behind when her mother died, the girl left behind when Wentworth went away. Now she was Anne Elliot, not her father's daughter, her sister's keeper or someone’s lost love but herself. She was still a daughter, a friend, a sister, but she felt she had found her own place in life. She took up her own space and was comfortable in her own skin. She was not a girl worried about her place in life, but a woman who made a place. The difference that true friendship and love of family made was astounding to her. She had always known what she was missing but had never realized how it affected who she was. Now she felt like her own woman, a person of the world and not just one in it. There was a freedom and lightness to everyday now. 

The Colonel’s presence was a strange, new, and very liberating experience as well. His attention was like the sun on a warm day. His presence brought warmth and brightness to the most mundane of days. Wentworth had been sweet as a boy and more sensible than her father. but his affection had been much more selfish, more about having her admiration and care than seeing her as a partner or equal. The Colonel seemed to admire her, and like her attention but wanted her to be engaged with him, not defer to him. He wanted her opinions without abandoning his own. Respecting her perspective, and sharing his own. Conversations with him were about sharing pieces of each other. She never needed to steer it or to talk around things. It was as easy as opening up to Elinor. She dreaded the day he would return to Delaford just as she dreaded when Lady Russell would come for her and she would return to being furniture in another's world. But for today she would soak up the sun while she still could. 

She had been wandering the garden’s of Barton Park with the Colonel for the last half an hour. Elinor had opted to stop a ways back at a group of benches to draw. She was still just at the edge of their sight. Benwick and Marianne taking off for more wild areas of the park and nature directly after lunch.

“Well Miss Elliot, I fear I have neglected Delaford for as long as I am comfortable. I will need to return there at the weeks end.” He stopped near a sculpture, seeming to think about it.

“Oh..it will not be the same here with you gone. Will you return before I depart next month?” Anne asked him

“It depends. To be more specific it depends on you Miss Elliot.” Turning his sight from the sculpture to focus on her with an intensity that took her breath away. He took both of her hands loosely in his “The time here with you has given me a sight of a life I never even thought to imagine. A view of a life and a family that I thought had passed me by. I believe you to be the most amazing woman I have ever had the pleasure to know. I have come to care for you quite deeply, I hope I am not mistaken in believing you return this regard. Anne, would you do me the great honor of agreeing to be my wife.” Brandon steeled himself as if expecting a blow. 

Anne was suddenly crying and smiling all at once. A small shocked laugh escaped her lips followed by words that seemed to come of their own volition “Yes, yes I more than return your regard. Yes, I would love nothing more than to be your wife.” She grasped the hands holding hers tighter pulling them into her chest to rest her lips against them. 

Brandon stepped in closer resting his forehead on top of her head “Oh Anne, my Anne. I cannot even tell you how happy you make me. Words do not begin to express. I was so afraid you could not return my affection seeing me only as a dear friend.”

Anne pulled back slightly to look up at him smiling at him. “The dearest friend, that only adds to my care for you.” 

Brandon gathered himself kissing her hands once before tucking a hand in his arm for them to continue walking. “I suppose I must now delay my return to Delaford, you are of age but I ought to still go speak with your father.” He laughed watching her nose curl up slightly at the thought. “I have been duly warned of their nature by Mrs. Dashwood, his coolness will not scare me off. Does he still reside in Camden place?”

“Yes, with my Cousin Mr. Elliot, his heir. They reunited in London and returned to Bath together. They decided as family it was silly to rent separate houses so Mr. Elliot has taken over part of the cost of the household. Speaking of such, you should be aware that the money my mother left for me will not be available until my father clears it, which he is not in a position to do so, needing its income.” Anne wanted no misunderstanding.

“I am not concerned with it, it will be in the settlements so you have something to pass on to our daughters should we be blessed with them. As the only son left when provisions were made for two, and with what I acquired in the service our family will never want.” Brandon assured her.

Hand in hand and glowing like an earthbound sun they returned to Barton to tell their true family, the one they had made for themselves, their good news.

* * *

Once the joy at Anne and Brandon’s engagement had passed Mrs. Dashwood began to feel uneasy on her other daughter’s account. For she very much considered Anne to be one of her own. Benwick had stayed at the park several times between returning to Exeter a few times. His friendship with Brandon and John had developed and John eventually put an end to the travel convincing him to make his visit of more permanent nature. The spring was in full bloom and it was clear that Benwick had come to care very deeply for Marianne. She seemed to return his care. It was wonderful to see them so happy together. However seeing Brandon stake a claim, having known Anne a much shorter time, gave her pause. She did not think Benwick to be like Willoughby, but it did make her wonder what he was waiting for. There friendship had begun back in November while they were all in Lyme. That was months longer than she had known her own dear Henry. 

Her unease must have been showing while she was sitting with her work watching her daughters gather around the piano. Benwick instead of joining them came to sit beside her. “I am not asking for your permission, nor making any declarations'' He started very bluntly, keeping his voice low, just between them “but I am not going anywhere either. My first engagement was rushed by a coming war. Marianne was swept up in a whirlwind of her own that carried her faster than she could really handle. I want her to have the time to think. To feel, but also to process it. It is great to sweep a woman away with your love, it is another level to sway her mind as well. Rest easy Mrs. Dashwood. I will not depart without matters being settled, but I see no need to rush either. We are enjoying our time together without any demands on it.” 

“Thank you for your concern, for her and for my worry. You are a great friend to us all.” Mrs. Dashwood gave his hand a quick squeeze before shooing him toward the young people across the room.

* * *

It had been a long few weeks for Fitzwilliam Darcy. All he wanted was to be back at Pemberley, to enjoy the quiet and solitude it allowed him. He had one more visit of call to pay before that time though. He had promised to travel with his Cousin Colonel Fitzwilliam to see their dragon of an Aunt. The Lady Catherine de Borough was a trial when he was in good spirits. Let alone in his current mood and having spent weeks dealing with Bingley and his sisters. He had come to see Charles Binley as like a brother, but here lately felt like a much younger and very silly brother. The sisters that came along were more like harpies from the Greek tales. He prayed for Charles sake the younger one married and soon. 

Bingley was much of why he was so frustrated with everyone right now. His tendency to fall head over heels for every beautiful and mild mannered woman he met was becoming a nightmare. Darcy understood the appeal for Bingley, living with women that drove him about like a cart horse, made the mild mannered a great reprieve. The problem was that Bingley himself was too mild and easy going to have his wife be the same. After years of trying to get Bingley to become more firm in his decisions he was still wishy washy about everything. Darcy finally gave up, hoping Bingley would find an intelligent wife of firm conviction. Someone like the Miss Lukas they had encountered in Meryton. A woman like that would make a fine wife for him and ensure matters were taken in hand. Instead Bingley latched onto the first beauty with an appeasing nature. 

Darcy would have left Bingley to his choice if he had any belief he would still want her in a few weeks. Bingely was much like Romeo, madly in love one week and bored of them later that month. Miss Bennet was the sixth “Angel'' Bingley had fancied himself in love with in the last two years. He had only avoided being honor bound to offer for a few by Darcy getting him to take a step back and take a little time away from them to see if he still wanted them. He rarely did. He felt bad for the poor girls, at least the last did not seem to be all that interested in Binley. She accepted his attentions with grace but did not seem to feel much for him. If Miss Bennet had been as strong of will as her next sister Darcy would have left Bingely there to entrap himself and be done with it all. Miss Elizabeth was a force to be reckoned with. She would have ensured her family was not taken advantage of and her children were given direction. Or if the rest of their family did not also lack a firm hand to guide them. The mother would control Bingley and her daughter through her harping and the younger sisters were a shameful mess waiting to happen. Miss Bennet was a sweet and elegant woman, he hoped she would find a nice man firm in his convictions who was capable of leading his family himself without her initiative, and preferably before Bingley next returned to Netherfield. 

Well Bingley was safely in London to take a break and see if he still loved his Angel with her out of his sight and Darcy had more pressing concerns. Like keeping his Aunt from planning a wedding he did not want, to a bride he had no intention of marrying. And meeting the terror that the toad at the parish had chosen for a wife, his aunt wrote of the girl being “truly a delight” which she had last used to describe Collins himself. Darcy had never met him himself, but it took three hours of complaining and half a bottle before Fitzwilliam had quit complaining after he suffered an introduction in London. 

* * *

Fredrick Wentworth had never considered himself a fool, and that only made it all the more apparent that he was indeed a fool. It was also clearly apparent to his sister Sophia Croft from the angry furrow that was developing between her brow. He had arrived yesterday in Bath only to be informed by the Croft’s that they had called on Sir Walter and his slimy nephew and Anne was not with them, but off visiting friends “of no consequence” to quote her father. His sister had noticed his despair at this and took the first opportunity without her husband about to get the entire tale from him. 

“So let me get this straight. Miss Anne Elliot called off your engagement for BOTH of your benefit back when you were a Lieutenant. Instead of understanding you scorned her for this, becoming resentful. When you could have returned to her two years later having remedied her concern you instead continued to stew in your own bitterness, Then happening upon her again by the kindness of fate took that opportunity to ignore her and throw yourself at her much younger neighbor. Then upsetting that girl and nearly committing yourself to her despite still having feelings for Miss Elliot. Does that cover it.” Sophia ticked each point off on a finger asking her brother. 

“That is not entirely fair Sophie, but yes that is a summary of events. Only now she is not here and I don’t know where she could be. I have written to Harville in hopes that Mrs. Harville is still a correspondent of hers. So I can find her again without having to deal with Sir Walter. I need to find out if she still feels the same.” Fredrick responded. 

“Well my dear brother, I wish you the best of luck. You have placed yourself in quite a ridiculous position.” Sophia returned. 

“I just need to find her.” Fredrick insisted

“You hope that is all it takes, you mean.” Sophia shaking her head left him to stew 


	10. Much to their satisfaction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have combined chapter one and two so this would have been chapter 11 for those following the story. Sorry also for the delay. I have changed positions at work and can no longer sneak as much writing time. Hope you enjoy.

Chapter 10: Much to their satisfaction

Fanny had always been prone to sentimentality and leery of change. So it had been an upsetting morning when she had been informed she would move to the family wing. While the white room and her attic had never been comfortable for her, they had been her home for a long time. Her Uncle had decided it was time for her to take over Maria’s rooms. When she returned with her husband they would take up guest quarters. It was only one of the many changes to have taken place since Fanny had returned from Portsmouth. This was a good thing for her, she might be more comfortable and have a fire in her room. She would also be closer to Tom’s rooms, should he need anything. She was currently with Tom, reading to him and contemplating the changes. Susan had been placed in the smaller family room near hers. With no school room or governess as an excuse or Mrs. Norris to insist.

Mrs. Norris had not taken the change in power or importance of herself very well. With Maria and Julia gone and barely willing to answer her letters, and Sir Thomas having less patience for her, she found her time better served sticking her nose in the affairs of those about the village. A young widow housed with her in laws near Mrs. Norris seemed to take her meddling with much grace. The woman had never really had a mother and now having lost her husband in the service was more tolerant of Mrs. Norris. Mr. Norris having been friends with her father-in-law as well. Being allowed to feel important again had softened many of her rougher edges. So had the blow of being cast aside by her nieces. Mansfield was much more peaceful with her as an occasional visitor. 

Fanny was so thankful that Susan had come with her as well. She much wanted to take care of her Aunt, but Tom’s need had been greater. Susan had settled in right away. Lacking the anxiety or fear of her own worth. Her boldness made her very much help to someone as mild mannered and indolent as her aunt. After only a few weeks Aunt Bertram already had her meeting with the housekeeper and learning responsibilities that would have been their Aunt’s had she been more active. She had become a wonderful addition in having all of Mrs. Norris’s activity and drive tempered with Fanny’s sweetness and care. 

The most important change was that Tom had now nearly recovered. She had been very afraid for him when she had first arrived home. Most of her time was spent with him in his sick room. Though evenings she still joined the family downstairs as being ill he retired early. Edmund spent much of his time with Tom as well but until Sir Thomas had returned, Edmund was needed elsewhere. The illness seemed to have taken Tom’s youthful attitudes along with his strength. As his strength returned the youthful selfishness had not. The contrast of all of his good friends just abandoning him when he became ill, versus his family rushing to aid and comfort him, had been very showing. Yeats had been the only friend to even write to check on him, and considering he often asked of Julia, Tom was not very thankful for the letters. He often spoke with Fanny about it. She had tried not to lecture him as he was a grown man, but she often worked things into what she read to him or brought up things to help him with his new outlook on life. He also was for the first time really listening and seeing her. 

“I do not think I ever did apologize to you for the play.” Fanny looked up from the book she had been reading to Tom. He had selected Much Ado About Nothing and having her read lines must have brought it to his mind. 

“It is of no matter.” Fanny responded, returning to the book.

Tom was not yet ready to let it go. “It was. I always took your presence for granted. Another little sister, too young to pay attention to. But that was not how you were made to feel. The attic room, the different lessons, the delay in allowing you out, the way Mrs. Norris treated you. I mean you were not even allowed a horse of your own despite how much you need to ride. You were treated more like the governess than family. No wonder you were afraid to offend. We have done a horrible job at treating you as family but you must know that you are. My father cares for you just as my sisters. He did not push you toward Crawford because he wanted you gone, but because he thought it would make you happy. He wanted to see you raised to importance, to be cared for as you deserved. If you never marry you will always have a home here. When my father is gone you will have one with me. I want you to know your value and make choices based on that. We may not have shown it but EDMUND and I both consider you a dear sister.” Tom ended by giving her hand a quick squeeze and telling her “I think I will nap for a while, I know you wanted a ride this afternoon. Why don’t you go, clear your head.” 

Tears of both happiness and despair starting to form, Fanny was glad to have reason to excuse herself. She held her composure through dressing to ride and waiting for the groom to bring Edmund’s mare around. Edmunds, not hers. Crawford had implied he brought a horse solely for her usage, but she had not had the time to see either Crawford sibling much during the day with Tom’s care. The tears she had been holding finally came as she rode a little ahead of the servant with her. Tom’s words had been so loving and so kind. If only they had come years earlier she would have flown from happiness at them. They were still a balm to the part of her heart that always felt unwanted and a burden. She also saw the warning in them. Tom had noticed how she felt about Edmund and wanted her to understand he saw her as a favorite little sister. Much as Tom did. Now that he had begun to express his feelings, his behavior was much the same as Edmunds. It hurt to realize that had he done so all along she might have believed herself in love with him. Or she hoped she would have been sensible enough to see it for what it was when two people showed her such care. She had been so starved for even the smallest kindness that she had believed herself in love with the first person to show it. If Edmund had been older would his behavior have been the same as Tom’s. He had spent less time and concern for her as the years passed. If so Mr. Crawford would have been the first person to show her kindness and she would have fallen in love with him. 

Thinking of this had her comparing the kindness of the two. Edmund had arranged for her to have a horse of his to use. The second it benefited him it was removed from her usage for Miss Crawford. Mr. Crawford had returned from Everingham with one specifically for her use, making the point that no one else was to ride it so it was always available to her. Edward had written that he wished she was back at Mansfield, but when he traveled it was to London and to Miss Crawford. Mr. Crawford had made a point to come check on her in Portsmouth and to arrange for her to return. Edmund showed her no more kindness than he did Susan or his sisters. Mr. Crawford was solicitous of Susan but as he was his own sister. It was Fanny he gravitated to in a room when he entered. It was her whose comfort seemed to be his primary concern.

Such had been the case for several months now. She had once thrown the word constancy at him like a weapon, but now he had proved her wrong. Even with a long parting and her attention being fixed on her family and Tom’s care he was right there. He faded to the background helping wherever he could. Even once her Uncle had returned he still assisted with some of the family duties to ease their burden. 

His sister had done much of the same. Taking over the entertainment in the morning and afternoon of Lady Bertram so Susan could attend to the duties of the house. Edmund had noticed it and glowed the sight of her being as a daughter to his mother. Edmund had never looked at her like that when she patiently managed his mother's work or calmed her nerves. He never would. Fanny saw the difference now. Seeing him in love, she knew he had never cared for her the same way. 

The truly surprising part was that she was beginning to see that she had never really cared for him that way either. He had been the only sun in her world. Like the first touches of a sunny April day when the wind still bites. After the dreary and frigid winter has passed that thaw and first touches of sun have you rushing outside to bask in what you call warmth. If that same windy day with its small hint of the sun's warmth came in June you would call it dreary and frigid. Edmund had been her warm April day. Now that she was seeing the June of Crawford's love she could see that she had never had that before. 

* * *

Fitzwilliam was thoroughly enjoying his visit to his Aunt. Not for the usual reasons someone may enjoy a family visit. There were no warm familial feelings. His enjoyment came completely from watching his Cousin Darcy turn all sorts of colors and squirm. The man was like a volcano. Solom and quiet as a mountain until he finally reached a boiling point somewhere below the surface where no mortal could see, then exploding to reek a path of destruction. Fitzwilliam though was not a mere mortal where Darcy was concerned. He could always see the pending explosions. Like the one they were heading for this afternoon. His Aunt was spouting on and one about the expectations of marriage for her daughter, while Ann sat there looking bored as ever. Fitzwilliam knew Ann had no interest in marriage and suspected she had a “particularly close” friendship with Sarah, her lady’s maid from what he had seen of their interactions. Good for her he thought, find some enjoyment in this prison of a house. His Aunt seemed to be putting on an extra elaborate show for her parson and his wife. The two flitted around like particularly annoying parrots only capable of saying “Of course Lady Catherine'' or “You are so wise Lady Catherine.” 

“It is the responsibility of a mother to ensure her daughter the best of positions prior to her departure from this earth. Imagine the shame of a mother leaving daughters unmarried and a burden on their male relatives. Like you poor Mr. Collins. I do not know what your Cousin Bennett’s wife is about. Having five daughters and not seeing a single one married before allowing the others out. She ought to be focusing all of her attention on the eldest until married then moving to the next. No wonder she has no success. She will likely leave you the entire bunch of spinsters to be hoisted on your charity when you inherit Longbourn. I bet they were hoping you would offer for one of them and then the rest could just sponge. It will not do, they will have to find positions when they do not marry” Catherine lectured on.

“Wise advice as ever My Lady. I hear the elder two may have chance on beauty alone if they do not set their sights too high, but the rest I fear will be an issue I will have to deal with.” Collins responded

Darcy had perked up at the mention of Bennett in a way that had Fitzwilliam intrigued. “Bennets of Longbourn. Near Meryton? By what means are you to inherit.” Darcy asked

“I am the next entail as a male heir. The entire lands and assets pass to the next male in line. Their mother despite her connection to trade had only 10,000 pounds for her daughters.” Collins responded proudly as if he had done something to deserve the honor other than of being born male.

Fitzwilliam was surprised to see the color drain from Darcy, the impending eruption cooling into dread of a different kind. “Well Darcy, if we are too make it out to the edge of the estate to look at that water drainage issue the steward mentioned we ought to go now.” Fitzwilliam pulled tomorrow's plan to today to get Darcy out before whatever was going on in his head caused an issue. 

Darcy catching on and seeing his escape “Rightly so Fitzwilliam. We must depart for now, until next time Mr. and Mrs. Collins.” 

Neither man spoke until they were riding away from the stables. Fitzwilliam attempting to break the foul mood “It is a good thing our Aunt is rich. Imagine what a harridan she would be considered if poor. As we all know a rich woman can never be a harpy as a rich man is never a fool.” Instead of laughing Darcy looked as if he had been struck. Sighing his exasperation “Darcy would you just tell me what this is all about, you know I detest this strong silent charade of yours.” 

Darcy scowled at Fitzwilliam but still confessed what had happened in Meryton. “ I fear I was too harsh on all of them. I am so used to the scheming mothers of town who try to trap you that I have stopped even being slightly open with people. While in town this is seen as reserved, in a more open and interactive society of the country it was down right impolite. I relax enough at Pemberley to slip modes seamlessly, however I was not at home there and dealing with Bingley’s sister as well. I was especially hard on the Bennets, judging the elder girls for their mothers crudeness. But you are right, her behavior is actually better than our Aunt’s. But with no wealth no one excuses it. She also has more reason to act so. Should the girls not marry well it could mean hardship for the entire family on her husbands passing. I do not know what there father is thinking to not have done something to remedy this after the first few daughters. I looked at their behavior without any look at why it is that way. Even her wild younger sisters I think I only took so personally because of Wickham’s presence and how much it reminded me of Georgie’s danger.” 

“Wickham? He is there. Running around with these people’s daughters. Did you at least speak with their fathers” Fitzwilliam drew his horse to a stop turning to his cousin. His unshakable humor, slow to anger usually was reaching it at this thought. 

“No, I could think of no way to do so without outing Georgie. Beside she seems to prefer him.” Darcy responded. 

Now he was livid, “who prefers him.” Darcy not realizing his slip finally got out the entirety of the story of his time including his attraction to Elizabeth, despite her lower standing. 

“So you left her and her family to be ruined so there could never again be a temptation for you to be less than a cold social climbing snob. I knew you were foolish in your stiff view of duty but I never knew you to be cruel in it.” Fitzwilliam was ready to strike him square in the nose for the first time since they were seven years old. 

“What? No, never.” Darcy turned even paler, seeming to realize the possible consequences for Elizabeth should it play out that way. “I..I never would want...I merely meant to remove myself from the situation to avoid temptation. I did not even stop to think of them. Oh, god. I left them with a wolf and walked away for the comfort of a fire. How do I fix it.” Darcy looked ill at the thought of what might be happening in his absence. 

“I know you owe them nothing and we agreed not to ruin Wickham less he out Georgie, but that does not stop your ability to give a quiet word to a few friends to have caution. I also would hate to see this avoidance cause you to be callous in a way you later regret. Will allowing one of her sisters to be ruined make you love her less? Because make no mistake you are in love with her. I know Colonel Forester, I cannot believe he knows what Wickham is. He has a young silly wife of his own. I will warn him and hope it has the effect wanted. We know it is only a matter of time before his debts corner him again and he looks to seduce someone with money.” Fitzwilliam found himself for the first time since they were children lecturing his usually more mature cousin. 

“You are right, it was cowardly. I hoped like Binley, out of sight would mean out of mind. It has not been the case and in my rush to flee I left the entire town in a bad position. Write to Forester. It is time I check on Bingley and see if he still pines as well. I cannot see them as well paired but if he is still in love after a break I will accompany him back to Netherfield. I owe the entire town a better impression of our family as well.” Darcy responded seeming to have reached a conclusion on more than travel. 

“Very well, I will write to Forester. His regiment is due to leave the area soon. Hopefully he can keep a leash on Wickham. They are also departing Meryton soon from what I saw of the schedules. He can take the warning on to the next town, Brighton I think. I know you wanted to return to Georgie, I will go to her. If once the regiment departs you are there and Bingley does not mind I will bring her to Netherfield.” Fitzwilliam returned

“Let us make our excuses to Aunt Catherine, she will be so pleasant at our changed departure.” Darcy returned some humor coming back to him. 

* * *

Tom’s return to health and return to entertainment, brought an odd mixture of lively but reserved to the evenings at Mansfield. Henry and his sister still joined them most nights. They had all become an odd little collection of young people. The elder Bertrams joining them, but enjoying watching their interactions, instead of engaging. Mary was helping Susan at the piano, Tom and Julia played cards with their parents. Edmund was attentive turning pages for the two at the piano, beaming at Mary. Henry was quietly reading Shakespeare aloud to Fanny in the opposite corner of the room, as she sat in the window seat watching the stars come out. 

Henry stopped his reading, looking also out at the stars. “I have not actually star gazed since I was very small and just learning them.” 

Fanny turned to him “I have not done so in a long time either. Would you care to join me in the garden to see them?”

“I would love to.” Henry took her arm, excusing them from the others with a nod from Sir Thomas and heading out the door nearby into the small garden path. 

“I was always horrible at keeping the stories straight. Who was hidden away as punishment, who as reward. I cannot think it much of a reward, you are known forever but swept away from all you love. Seems like a cold and empty existence.” Henry stared at the stars that had started to show, turning finally to Fanny

Fanny smiled at him. “You are right, it is an overwhelming feeling, great and terrible to be placed on such a pedestal. It is much better, much more fulfilling to be loved in a way you can return.” Her smile and look seeming to carry a much greater weight than her statement.

“Do you..I mean. Fanny you must know my feelings for you have only changed in that I am more sure than ever that you would make me the happiest of men. But I do not wish to press you. It will be only on your wish that I ask again for you to return it.” Henry stared at her with the same overwhelming awe as he had the skies above him . 

“I do wish” Fanny responded letting her hand trail down his arm to rest against his palm. 

Henry grasped her hand placing the back of it against his cheek for a moment. “Miss Price, my Fanny, will you marry me?” 

“Yes, I think I will” Fanny responded most definitely, smiling in a most unfannylike way. 

They walked for sometime below the stars savoring the quiet before having to cause a roil of excitement by announcing their news to those behind in the drawing room. Though as several of them were watching from the windows with knowing smiles, it would not be as much of a surprise as they expected. 


	11. Resolve never to be taught

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be carful what you ask for Wandmaker. The characters appear to be listening.

Chapter 11: Resolve never to be taught

“Hum, you look pleased with yourself. Do you finally find your misplaced Miss Elliot then?” Fredrick still snickered at his sisters words to him earlier in the week. He had finally gotten word from both Benwick and Harville telling him the same thing, well almost the same thing. They both said that Anne was at Barton Cottage with the Dashwoods. Though Harville’s also said he was still an idiot and if he had asked before storming off to Bath Harville could have told him that in Lyme. In retrospect he did feel very foolish for just assuming she would have been unwanted elsewhere and stuck in Bath. She hates Bath. He had immediately imposed on the Admiral’s goodwill to ask his brother in Exeter if Fredrick might stay with him. When the permission came he dropped a short note off to Benwick letting him know he would like to see him, and followed it the next day. He had two particularly painful days in Exeter until Benwick wrote back cheerfully informing him he had relocated to Barton Park and would love to see him. Fredrick cleaned himself up and made his way there. Benwick was just coming in from a shooting party with a man who must be Sir John when Fredrick arrived. Sir John was introduced and stayed just long enough to insist Fredrick stay to dine before taking the dogs back to the kennels. 

“Wentworth! My man, it is great to see you. You look much better than the last time we met. Did you figure out your little issue?” Benwick asked, Harville had been vague of what was going on with Fredrick, but there had been no announcement of a marriage to the Uppercross girl either. 

“Benwick, it is great to see you. My issue? Oh, I have not talked to you since I left for Kellynch, what a mess. She refused me.” Fredrick brushed off his concern. 

“Oh, will you take a walk with me? Excellent views from the green over here. So is her refusal a bad thing. You did not seem overly enthused with her once the accident happened.” 

Fredrick explained all that happened between when he left and arriving today. Benwick had at first laughed at him finding it mildly amusing. As the story turned to his hunt for Anne, Benwick’s expression turned stiff. 

“Well my friend. I do not even know where to begin. First good for Miss Musgrove, she deserves someone who will treat her better than you did. Secondly you might try pulling your head from your own rear once in a while and listening to your friends when they talk instead of just nodding and saying ‘uh huh’. I told you Miss Elliot was staying with the Dashwoods when I left for Exeter. Last I am sorry to have to be the one to tell you this, but you could have saved yourself a visit here as well..” Benwick was cut off by Fredrick, breaking in to reply

“What have I missed her, passing her on the road to Bath.” He asked, suddenly alarmed. 

“No but you most likely missed her fiancé on his way back from Bath to gain her father’s blessings.” Benwick snapped. Annoyed enough to give up on his plan to gently break the news to Wentworth. 

Fredrick stumbled in his steps. Seeing a nearby bench Benwick steered him toward it in time for him to sink to it. Covering his face with his hands and letting out a wounded noise.

“Who? How?” Fredrick asked between his fingers, moving to pull at his hair. 

“Colonel Brandon of Delaford. He is a good friend of the Dashwood ladies, and served abroad with Sir John. Miss Elliot met him when they returned here in February. He often stays with Sir John as he has no family at Delaford. He and Anne were much together. He is a fine man, and has become come a good friend to me as well.” Benwick laid it out for him. 

“My God, fate is cruel.” Fredrick started with a weak chuckle. 

“I don’t think you can blame fate for this one friend. Fate was rather kind to you. It gave you a second chance most of us do not get. She was placed directly in your lap and all you had to do was take her up. Instead you cast her aside and paid attention to another to get your point across. That is on you Wentworth, not fate, and certainly not God. Just you, the entire situation of the last six months is on you. Well not to add insult to injury but you may want to pull yourself together. You agreed not a half and hour ago to dine here at the Park, with the Dashwoods and Miss Elliot as well.” Benwick patted him on the shoulder. “Come on, I’ll show you where you can get cleaned up.

Sir John had insisted Fredrick stay just as he had Benwick. Fredrick was a little thrown by how zealous the man was to host a new acquaintance, but finding out he was an Army man explained much for him. They were much like sailors in that respect, the constant movement among new places and new faces gave them an easy comradery with new people. It had seemed like another cruel twist to have to face Anne knowing he lost her, but he knew it would need to be done. The friends he had made at Uppercross, the way Anne had become entwined with the Harvilles and Benwick he knew she would continue in his circle. It was not as if eight years away from her had changed his want of her, or ignoring her and being angry. Maybe this was what he needed. To see her happy, there had been a moment when Sophia had mentioned Mrs. Musgrove being a former Elliot that he had thought Ann married and there had been some amount of peace in with the disappointment. It was truly the point of no return and out of his hands. It was time to start to move forward, and while he could not forget her he hoped he could reconcile himself to her loss.

* * *

William Elliot was really beginning to wonder if a Baronetcy was worth all of this. He had managed to rid himself of the Clay woman in London, through a mixture of bribes and threats. Which was no easy feat. He had then spent a week convincing Sir Walter to take him back into the fold. Though the news of Elizbeth’s marriage was a huge relief. He had never wanted the woman and the idea of having to pretend otherwise sounded exhausting. It was double good news as it seemed to open up some nice contacts among the first circles. Ferrars were important within themselves but he had dinned with the Rushworths and Bertrams and were now considered an acknowledged acquaintance. In addition to the Dalrymples they had encountered here in bath he was moving in the best circles. He was also keeping Sir Walter in them, and well away from the matchmakers desperate enough to look to an old widower. He also needed to remember that the title and estate was not all he stood to lose. If Miss Anne Elliot was half as lovely as Mrs. Smith had always made her out to be, he also had a fine new wife lined up. He had already been warming Sir Walter to it, though he had to express sadness at “missing out on Elizabeth'' when he did. She had yet to return to her father but it was only a matter of time and at her age she would hardly refuse him. 

They were just waiting to head out this afternoon to the pump rooms. A Colonel Brandon of Delaford had left his card yesterday seeking to speak to Sir Walter when they were out. He had told the butler he would return today seeming surprised to find him not at home. Sir Walter had a stack of letters he had been neglecting so it was anyone's guess who had introduced and announced his visit. From what he knew of the man it was not to presume on their social standing for a help up. Though not titled he was still a Colonel and of an old Landed Family of considerable respect, he also served in parliament and was in the voting block of the Earl of Fitzwilliam and his Son Viscount Milton. 

“Colonel Brandon for you Sir.” The announcement came. 

“Yes, Yes, show him in.” Sir Walter folded the paper placing it aside to greet his guest. “Colonel Brandon, delighted to meet you. Do have a seat. Fabulous to meet you, I am not sure to what I owe the honor though.” 

“Excuse me...Sir Walter I understood Anne had written to you.” Brandon responded

At William’s' cough Sir Walter seemed to remember him. “Oh yes, allow me to also introduce my nephew and heir, William Walter Elliot.”

“A pleasure.” Brandon responded awkwardly. 

“Now what business was this about Anne. I am sure she wrote but I haven’t the time. Is it some business venture she seems to think I need?”

“No Sir Walter, nothing of the type. I have been accepted by Anne and came to offer my respects and seek your blessing. She is well past the age of permissions, but as a gentleman I would not feel right in failing to address you as well.” Brandon having chosen to remain standing the others had to as well. 

“Anne, really? Well I guess she is the only daughter of mine left.” Sir Walter responded seeming to think his association was the real item sought. “Alas I fear she already has an understanding with my nephew.” Making a brushing motion as if to shoo Brandon away. 

William felt the hair on the back of his neck prickle at the look that Brandon gave his Uncle and then turned to him. 

“I do admit myself to be quite confused by this profession. Anne not only accepted my offer, but made no mention of you making one. In fact she made a point of telling me she had never laid eyes on you, let alone spoken to you.” Brandon’s voice had gone stony and cold. 

William knew when to back off and keep his silence but it appeared Sir Walter did not. “Well he has not had the chance to speak with her, hold up in some backwoods, well wherever she went. But he approached me as her father and I approved of his suit, she will be a baronet's lady. I am sure that is what she will want when she hears of it. I am also sure you do not want to cross what our purposes and wants are. We have very powerful connections. It could end quite badly for you.”

Brandon stared silently at Sir Walter for a moment as if considering something particularly unpleasant “What would you do. Call in my debts? I have none. Deny Anne her portion? I have no need for it. Go to my allies and tell tales? Good luck gaining an audience with the Earl of Fitzwilliam, let alone swaying him against the man that took a bayonet to the shoulder to save the life of his second son. Slander my name and honor? I met the last man who did so with pistols, my challenge so his choice, yours would be mine and I prefer swords. I fence and have killed with a sword, can you even lift one? So consider your choices. I leave here your son with your blessing, or I leave here your enemy and you lose a daughter, because make no mistake she will choose me over you, and unlike you I love her and will fight to keep her.” 

William, always the rat to flee a sinking ship, knew when to cut his losses. “You misunderstand Sir Walter. He is just surprised not knowing of Anne and your courtship ahead of time. He is just concerned that at Anne’s age she has accepted believing it would be her only offer. As a caring father he just wants her to know that I would do my duty to my family, especially hearing what a fine woman she is, and take her as my wife, if that were her choice of course. If she has made a love match with you, then by all means I am sure Sir Walter is delighted for his daughter and will give his blessing as soon as he has a chance to catch up with her letters and hear the wish from her directly. He would never threaten someone such as yourself, he just wanted you to know her wishes would not be unsupported by her connections. Is that not right Sir Walter.” 

Sir Walter, not usually one to catch on quickly, had reached a point of fear he was very unfamiliar with and simply nodded “Of course of course. Whatever Anne wants.” 

“Wonderful. I am glad we have come to a clearer understanding of each other. I am sure Anne eagerly awaits your letter with all of your blessings and well wishes. I will take my leave. I am returning to Barton to check in with Anne then must return to Delaford. Sir Walter, Mr. Elliot.” Brandon bowed slinking from the room like a jungle cat momentarily giving up on prey it deems no longer worth its time. 

“Well I never” Sir Walter huffed after he had departed.

“And hope you never do again.” William responded, helping himself to a stiff drink despite the early hour.

* * *

Dinner had been a trial, but no more so than those of last fall. He and Anne, Miss Elliot, he really much think of her as Miss Elliot, had fallen back into their polite indifference of Kellynch and Uppercross. Though it was a little more difficult without his smug anger. Anne really was happy. There was a bloom to her that he had not seen since he left almost nine years ago. She practically glowed. Fredrick tried to remember what she had looked like in love with him. He remembered how he felt, but was hard pressed to remember if she had ever been that happy with him. She was never that content and self possessed. They were so young then, like kittens awkwardly pouncing about.

He had been proud of himself and his composure until Anne had played for them after dinner. He had seen her play when they were young, even sometimes for him alone. He had seen her play much last fall. This, this was something entirely different. It was of another world. He could not help but be somewhat bitter at the knowledge that she was happier now than she had been in his love. 

His bitterness slipped out some in muttered words meant for himself but sadly Miss Dashwood was next to him. “What does she see in him, what do they even have in common.” ignoring his own eyes that told him of their shared love of the music. 

Elinor, clearly seeing the same thing but exasperated with him replied. “ I would say they share the feelings of lost love. He lost his Love when she trusted men she should not have. She lost hers when she would not trust one she should not.”

Wentworth, offended at the implication, replied. “And I...he is a man she can't trust.”

Elinor considered him for a moment as if the fates themselves were weighing him. “The man she may have been able to, though judging by his recent actions not likely. But the boy who eight years ago would have married her and rushed off to war with only the hope that his reckless nature would bring glory and fortune instead of death?. Risked that he left her possibly with child to live off the kindness of relatives that resented her in the meantime? No, trusting him would have quite possibly been her ruin.”

Wentworth finally saw the situation as it was. So young he had been assured of his success to come, and when it came he felt vindicated. It was easy to forget there had ever been a risk. So many close calls had happened along the way. He had reconciled himself to them at the time but he had been a single man with no one else at risk. He may have never taken that first ship that made him if he had been being more careful. Thinking of that first windfall two years in he asked “And if that foolish boy had put his wounded pride aside and returned two years later freshly made, with a reasonable sum to settle on her and the ability to place her in a small house?”

Elinor laughed lightly, surprised that it was not obvious “Then she would have rejoiced in finding it was her he loved and not the possibility of her name and connections. She would have lived humbly and happily, basking in his love until he next returned.” 

Fredrick just stared open mouthed at her. She smiled sweetly and excused herself to talk with her sister. He had thought about returning a thousand times those first years, but he could never put his pride and hurt aside. He now had his answer. There was no one to blame for his loss but himself. And it was truly his loss alone. It had been Miss Elliots as well, but no longer. She had found a place she was truly loved and appreciated. A family that embraced and protected her, most fiercely from the sharp tongue lashing he had just received from Miss Dashwood. A man who could love her without reserve or baggage. He spent the rest of the evening just basking in the glow of the room. The happiness of everyone here radiated through it. Anne with her Colonel, Benwick and his lively and sweet Miss. Marianne. The kindness of Mrs. Dashwood and her younger daughter curled up listening to the music. The welcome fatherly attention of Sir John. It let him finally let go of what may have been. She lead him once again. This time in showing it was possible to move on. 

As the evening dwindled he found Miss Dashwood again nearby. Analyzing the change in his demeanor with the look of a disapproving patron at a shop. He could not help but smile at her fierceness so much like Sophie’s “My dear lady disdain, are you still here?”

Miss Dashwoods expression changed to one of suppressed laughter before she composed herself enough to place a look of false severity on her face raising one eyebrow. “Is it possible disdain should die while she hath such meet food to feed it.”

Fredrick could not help but genuinely smile. Maybe the merging of this group with his circle of friends would not be so unpleasant after all. 


	12. Particular invitation

Chapter 12: Particular invitation

Fitzwilliam had done all he could. He had written to Colonel Forester to let him know of Wickham’s habits. He had delivered Darcy back to his townhouse to prepare for his meeting with Bingley. Now he just needed to wrap up his business in town and he could return to Pemberley and Georgie. His cousin had been without family for too long. Her companion was a wonderful woman, but it was not the same. Hopefully she would be feeling more up to traveling and to go to Netherfield if Darcy ended up there. London was a bit much for her right now but a soft “out” in a small community would be good practice for her. 

“Fitz!” Fitzwilliam turned surprised to see Tom Bertram yelling for him from down the street. When they had spent time together in the fall their parting had not gone well. Fitzwilliam lost patience with the man and his lifestyle telling him off. His surprise was not for seeing Bertram but for Bertram’s enthusiasm to see him. Great, with his luck the man had been too soused to remember the telling off. What a waste. 

Sending his party ahead Bertram caught up to him. “Fitzwilliam, I am glad to have caught up to you. Might we have a moment?” Bertram nodded to the green area just off the sidewalk. 

Fitzwilliam nodding joined him. Tom pulled a stack of bank notes from his billfold and handed them over. “Here, the money you fronted me in the fall to make it out of town.” 

Fitzwilliam took the money an eyebrow raised. “Find some good luck finally then?” 

“Quite the opposite. I ignored the advice of a much wiser man and used his money to chase after people who were not my friends. I hit some very bad luck, and caught ill nearly dying. It gave me a lot of time to think on what you said about growing up. You were right, life does eldest sons no favor in not giving us some profession. But it is amazing what you can pay back when you live within your income and do not spend every night on the town. Thank you Fitz, for being a good enough friend to tell me what I needed to hear, even when I did not want to hear it. I already knew those things but hearing from someone other than my father was needed.” Bertram unloaded his regret to his friend.

“I am glad to hear it finally made it through your thick skull. Lord knows it took long enough for my own brother to get the message. So if not running with the idle boys club what has you in town?” Fitzwilliam asked him.

“Little cousin Fanny is getting married. So with my father having business to attend to I am showing her town. She had never been. Shy little thing.” Bertram answered

“I remember you speaking of her, did she find some quiet country parson to her fancy.” Fitzwilliam joked with a raised eyebrow. 

“Not quite, she managed to snag Crawford.” Bertram smirked at him. Knowing the two traveled in the same circles. 

“Crawford. Henry Crawford. Admiral Crawford's hellion of a nephew?” Fitzwilliam asked aghast at the thought.

“The very one, his elder half sister is married to Doctor Grant who took over the living at Mansfield.” Bertram returned

“Putting aside the wonder this lady must be to have to have kept Crawford's attention long enough to propose. Has your Uncle lost the plot? To allow Crawford to marry his niece? Is he that desperate to be rid of her? I would not let that man within a mile of my ward. If he does not know what Crawford is, you certainly do.” Shock was all over Fitzwilliam's face. 

Tom let out a slow breath looking bashful. “Honestly, I saw nothing wrong with his behavior at the time and was glad of his and Yeats company last summer. Oh do not look at me like that I now know better. But to have thought ill of them would be to admit my own actions were wrong. So if he were still the man that toyed with my sisters I would have kept this from happening. But I was not the only idle elder son to get a hard set down.” Tom laughed “though at least mine came from a friend. His came directly from dear Fanny. She faced him in all of his arrogant self assured glory and shot him directly down. Despite not having a dime for herself or any promise in the future she refused him outright and made it clear she could not even stand the man. Add to that a return to London when he got a taste of how prized his company was now that he was rumored off the market was a wake up call. We may not have the army to teach us to grow up, my man, but we are getting there. Henry would surprise you, I know he does me.” 

“Well I’ll be. If the likes of your two rouges can become men, I will not give up on my idiot cousin just yet. But I have business to finish up. Good luck with the new leaf Bertram.” 

* * *

Jane had always found Lizzie too cynical and hard on people, but she was beginning to see that being the opposite had it’s problems. She had trusted in the Bingleys, all of them. She had thought that Charles really cared for her, and that she had found a friend in his sisters. The way they all departed had upset her, but always the one to give people the benefit of the doubt she had assumed no ill will to it. Her time in London had shown how very wrong she was. Miss Bingley had finally returned her visit this morning. Her disdain for Jane’s family and circumstances were clear. The friendship that Jane believed they had was clearly just Miss Bingley considering her the most tolerable person to break her boredom in the limited society of Merton. 

Jane had always had the tendency to hide her feelings from those around her. She felt as the eldest she needed to not be a burden on those around her. The blow this morning of facing the disdain of those she thought had cared had even her façade cracking. Her aunt Gardiner had seen the pain and drug her out this afternoon as a diversion. It also had given them some time to talk away from the children or her uncle. Though the stops they made for her benefit lead to the rush they were now in to reach an appointment at the modiste that her aunt had. Just as they were nearing the shop a young woman looking rather pale seemed to stumble in front of them. Jane reached out catching her arm. 

“Oh pardon me I am so sorry. It has just been a long day.” The woman seemed to be looking around for a place to sit for a moment. 

Jane steered her toward a bench a little further down the street, presumably for male escorts to linger instead of entering the modiste. “Think nothing of it, Miss..” 

“Price, Miss Fanny Price.” The woman introduced herself. “Really I am fine now, I am sorry to have taken up your time.”

“Nonsense Miss Price, I am Miss Jane Bennet, and this is my aunt Mrs. Gardiner. She was just headed into this very shop. I was headed for this very bench myself.” Jane assured Fanny. Seeming the girls comfortably settled Mrs. Gardiner headed into the shop to make her appointment. “Were you to meet a companion, is someone going to be missing you?” Jane returned her attention to Fanny. 

“Not for a while yet. I was with my cousins. We are shopping for my wedding clothes.” Fanny blushed at the mere mention, as if she could not believe she was talking of herself to a stranger. “Tom stopped to talk with a friend of his, an army fellow he had not seen in a long time. My other cousin Julia needed to catch another shop before it closed. She was to return to me here if she finished first, or I to her. So if I am delayed she will return to me.” 

“Well then we are finely situated until someone comes to retrieve us.” Jane told her. Smiling at her. “Are you a London resident? I myself am from the country and find it all rather overwhelming.” Jane started hoping to put her companion at ease. 

Fanny perked right up, talking of her beloved Mansfield and how foreign everything in London seemed to her. Jane returned talking of Longbourn and the change to staying in Gracechurch street. The bustle and difference in manners. Even sharing general explanations of the mornings events without naming a person. Fanny could sympathize with the way Miss Crawford had been at first and the way her friends acted. They two women lamented time spent in cities and how much they wished to return to their own world in the country. 

“Though I will admit the city does have some things home does not. I will be attending my first play tomorrow. I am nervous but so very excited as well.” Fanny admitted. 

“Are you seeing the Tempest? My uncle was given the opportunity for us to go by one of his contacts. I have been to the theater before but never such a large production.” Jane responded

“Yes. I am very much looking forward to it. My Uncle got a box for all of us to go. It was very kind of him. He said it was gift for my engagement trip.” Fanny again blushing, as if she was embarrassed by the kindness of including her. 

Jane asked about her fiancé and was hearing the tale of meeting Mr. Crawford. As it was nearing an end two men came around the corner parting ways as they did. The taller of the two heading for them. He noticed Fanny, hurrying his pace. 

“My dear Fanny, are you all right, where is Julia, she promised to stay with you?” He rushed to their side. 

“I am fine, just a bit worn out from all of our shopping. Julia just ran ahead for a minute. Miss Bennet kindly agreed to keep me company while her aunt was inside.” Fanny assured him.

Tom froze as Jane smiled at him, just now noticing her. She could not help but smile at him with all her power. The sweet concern he showed for his cousin, at the cost of even noticing anyone else, was more of the country sincerity she and Fanny had talked of. 

Fanny broke the silence “Miss Bennet, allow me to introduce my cousin, Mr. Bertram. Tom this is Miss Bennet, she is staying with her Uncle and Aunt the Gardiners in town.”

“Miss Bennet, it is a pleasure, and thank you so much for your kindness for our Fanny. She has never been to town before so we all worry.” Tom shook himself realizing he was staring. “I am sorry to say I must steal her away if we are to make our next engagement. I hope we will all meet again before our stays are over.” 

Jane feeling more bashful than usual was hard pressed to answer and Fanny volunteered in an odd moment of boldness “Miss Bennet was just telling me they will also be at the play tomorrow night, maybe we will see each other there.” 

* * *

Bingley had opted out of going to the theater tonight to meet Darcy for dinner at the club. It was much easier to talk with him without the constant interruptions of his sister. Mrs. and Mr. Hurst had left for his estate earlier in the month. Leaving him alone with Caroline. It had not been fun. She paraded him around like a show pony trying to make connections. He had enough friends. He understood her wish to marry well but felt she took it too far. With 20,000 pounds to her name she could have married well, but well was never her aim, she wanted the first circle. Something that would have taken a much larger fortune than her own. Unless she wished to be the second marriage to someone already with an heir. Which she did not. She still had delusions of Darcy’s social awkwardness and discomfort making him settle for her. Bingley had explained numerous times if he wanted a marriage of that type he had a cousin with a greater fortune. Caroline also seemed deluded that he would fall for Georgianna and move them up the food chain that way. The first time he was to travel to Darcy’s home he had been taken aside and warned that Darcy cared for him greatly but if he ever attempted any designs on his sister he would not allow it and he controlled her money. Not that it had been necessary, she was still a little girl in his mind, and after knowing her so long as one she would always be little sister material. 

His sister was much too like their father and he too much like their dear mother. It was one of the reasons he liked women more like his mother as well. He could not deal with the constant battle ground their home had been when his father lived. He was a tyrant, and living with Caroline had shown him that a woman could be just as much of one as his father. He knew there was wisdom to Darcy’s advice about strong household management, but he just could not believe that many such women existed, and the few he did would have no use for him. An Elisabeth Bennet would find him dull and too soft. That is what drew him to Jane, she had made him feel the strong one, had understood the need to have peace at all costs in the home. In order to have her though he would have to learn to be the frim one to manage his household. He did not know if he could do that. He would most definitely never figure it out with Caroline pushing him around and making all the decisions. 

“Bingley, so glad you could make it.” Darcy joined him in the private room that had been booked for them. Looking more frazzled than Bingley had seen him except for his return from Ramsgate. 

“Darcy, are you alright man. You look quite the frenzy.” Bingley asked concerned. 

“It has been an interesting few days.” Darcy began. Pausing for them to be served drinks and a first course. When they were again alone he laid out everything that had happened at Huntsford and his realizations and what Fitzwilliam had to say. 

“My god, Wickham was the man who tried to seduce Georgie. Why did not you say so? We have left him there to do god knows what. I do not know if Miss Bennet returns my affection but she is an amazing woman and I would hate for one of her family or the Lucas’s to be harmed. I was thinking of returning to Netherfield anyway. It is time I tried my own way without Caroline. She can stay with our Aunt here in town or return to Louisa. I need to know if I can do what needs to be done even when it is unpleasant.” Bingley confided in Darcy. 

“Well, if you would not mind my imposition. I would like to return with you. Not to hinder your plan to stand on your own. Merely to deal with Wickham if needs must and to be on hand. It will give you time to see if you still favor Miss Bennet after some time apart as well. “ Darcy related

“And for you to see if your infatuation has cooled as well.” Binley returned laughing at his friend

* * *

Sir Thomas had concluded his business earlier that day for the most part but still waited to meet one more contact here tonight. He allowed Julia to proceed with the Crawfords to the box he had acquired. He would have sent Fanny as well but she appeared to need a rest before climbing the stairs. He felt awful for that. He should have considered the effect Portsmouth had on her health before sending her there. It all worked out for the best, but she needed to return to regular exercise when they returned to Mansfield. 

He spotted Mr. Gardiner just as they came around the corner. Sir Thomas had taken the advice of Earl Fitzwilliam. While their politics did not always align, Thomas could see that trade was not going anywhere and that it was the way forward. He had met Mr. Gardiner on his return trip from Antigua. He was impressed by how genteel he was for a tradesman, the son of an attorney he had taken his intellect into textiles. Sir Thomas, a producer of materials saw the advantage. He had invited Mr. Gardiner and his wife, the daughter of a pastor, to join him. They were bringing their niece. 

As they came into sight the overdressed peacock of a woman next to him piped up “Dear god, the woman just does not know when she is unwanted. Look at them coming over here. Ug, that must be her Tradesman of an Uncle.” 

“For people in textiles you would think they would dress her better.” Another gaudy pile of satin and feathers next to her piped in.” 

They continued to mock Mr. Gardiners young charge loud enough for the girl to hear them as they approached. Sir Thomas could not believe the rudeness. He looked closer hoping to recognize the young women so that he might whisper a word to their fathers. He did not recognize any of them though. Which in itself was telling. He had done the circuit with Tom many times when he was introduced to society and none of these ladies had been included in those events. He felt awful for the girl. Tom had told him of their chance encounter earlier that day and her kindness to Fanny, laughing when he realized they really would see her at the theater as Fanny promised. Just as Sir Thomas was about to act, he heard Tom clear his throat to be noticed. 

“Excuse me Miss Bingley.” The woman spun at his voice, lighting up like a candle and plastering on a syrupy smile. Just as the woman was about to speak he added “might we pass, we need to greet our guests.” He gestured to the Gardiners. 

Sir Thomas watched the woman turn a green that did not go well with her coppery gown. Watching Tom step forward and past the girl to gesture for the Gardiners and Miss Bennet to come toward us. 

“Mr. Gardiner. So glad you could make it. My Son Tom, and this is my Niece Miss Price.” Sir Thomas took over. 

Mr. Gardiner stepped up. “Wonderful to meet you all, this is my wife Mrs. Gardiner and my niece Miss Bennet. Though I hear the young people beat us to the introductions by meeting this afternoon.” 

Sir Thomas smiled “That they did, thank you Miss Bennet for your kindness. It is wonderful to meet you, I went to school with your Father. Quite the intelligent man, I was surprised when he did not stay to teach as he planned.” 

“He had planned to before my Uncle passed I believe, then he took over Longbourne. It is great to meet you as well.” Miss Bennet acknowledged. 

Tom stepped up to offer to escort her, brushing past the Bingley woman. Sir Thomas took up Fanny’s arm leading her while he showed the Gardiners the way. He was surprised that the horrid woman was a Bingley. He had met her brother, a modest man who understood that their father was an industrialist. He did not understand where she got the notion to judge the daughter of a gentleman, for having relations in the more genteel trades when she herself got her money from manufacturing. 

Once everyone was seated he was glad to see Miss Bennet looking happy again. It was wonderful as well to see Fanny come out of her shell so easily with the young woman. After he had Introduced Crawford and his sister, Fanny took over explaining to Henry her meeting with “her dear Miss Bennet.” Fanny was so slow to warm to anyone it was wonderful to see her with a friend other than her sister. Tom seemed rather attentive to her as well. It is not as fine of a match as he had once hoped for, but the life Tom had led for the last half decade had made him expect much worse. Miss Bingley had just served as a fine reminder of what much of the ladies of London were like. He may have to encourage Miss Bennet to visit Mansfield. For Fanny’s sake of course. 

* * *

Caroline could not believe the indignity of this night. To be slighted for the sake of that country chit. Why could she not just go home before her brother saw her somewhere. 

“Caroline, would you come in here a moment. I must speak with you.” Charles stepped out of the door of his study into the hall. 

Caroline froze for a moment, fearing he had heard of Miss Bennet's presence here in town and her deception. Realizing nothing was gained by delay she stepped in, taking a seat when he gestured. 

“How was the theatre?” he asked distractedly, not really appearing to care. 

“Interesting, as always. What is this about Charles” She lost patience snapping at him. 

Something seemed to harden in him and he responded. “I am returning to Netherfield. I will not be taking you with me. I will escort you to Aunt’s house, see you off to Louisa or help you hire a companion to stay here. I need time to be my own master without interference. I do not feel I can do that with you around.” 

Caroline was shocked, and angered. So this was about the country chit. He was rushing off to see her and Caroline was brushed aside. Well she hoped he enjoyed chasing her to the country when she wasn’t there. This was perfect, she did not need to get rid of Jane, Charles would absent himself from her sphere. Jane had told her she would remain in town for several more months until her Aunt and Uncle vacationed this summer. It was perfect. Once Charles opened the house and discovered her gone it would take time to close it back up. Caroline smirked “Whatever you think is best brother dear, I believe I will stay with Aunt. I have been promising to come to her for some time.” 

“Really? Well I am glad to hear it. I leave tomorrow. Will that give you enough time to relocate to Aunts?” Charles asked relieved that there had been no fight. 

“Oh, yes. More than enough. I really am tired though. Good night Charles.” Oh yes, the sooner the better. She hoped he enjoyed his journey. 


	13. Change of sentiments

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is a bit short and a bit delayed, the words were not coming this week. Shocking with a migraine I know, but I cranked The Gits rolled up my sleeves and made something happen. For better or worse, Chapter 13.

Chapter 13: Change of sentiments

Sir Thomas saw a change in his family with his increase in kindness. He felt very much at fault for not seeing it earlier. For not seeing how much it was needed. The change came with seeing the world differently than he had before. His trip to the islands had been rough on him and much had happened to change his opinions. Tom’s illness had scared him immensely as well. His latest blow was in his disappointment in his daughters after spending time in London with them.

Maria was happy enough in her life, but only with her society and friends. There was little love and no respect for her husband. He should have prevented the marriage when he saw her coolness toward Rushworth. He had been disappointed in Julia as well, she had no wish to remain in the family circle and wanted to stay in town. Sir Thomas did not like the example set by the Rushworths and was leery to leave her with her sister as chaperone. He finally relented when his own sister who had no daughters of her own agreed to let her come for a stay. He hoped she just needed time to stretch her wings.

He now understood his error, he had tired to correct the way Mrs. Norris spoiled, and his wife indulged by being overly firm with his children. All it had done was make them hide their nature from him, putting on a show of what he wanted to see. All he taught them was to appear moral when someone was watching. He was grieved to see Edmund taking too much after him in his mistake. Always rigid and judgmental, as if he could change people by holding them to an unreachable standard. 

He had sat down with Julia and tried to have a serious conversation about the mistakes he had made, and the fears he had for Maria’s happiness. To caution her. He had attempted to extend his kindness to her, by relenting on her wish for the city and some independence. Letting her know he wished for her to write to him as well as her mother. Telling her he could return for her whenever she wished and stressing that she must not stay away for too long as they would miss her presence. It was impossible to know if it helped. She was very much used to demurring to his opinions then doing as she pleased when his back was turned. 

Sir Thomas tried to reach out to Edmund as well. He had tried to speak of his mistakes to him, while he listened with an academic ear, seeming to understand in theory Edmund lost none of his own rigid nature. He only seemed to unstiffen for Miss Crawford, and even that was flawed in that he seemed to excuse the parts of her he did not like as “correctable” rather than accepting their differences. Sir Thomas had talked of this with the retiring parson from Thornton Lacy. He had agreed to stay in the village until Edmund had fully taken over. Sir Thomas hoped the man would help him to see that while leading by example was fine, you must also be approachable in order to guide a community. 

Fanny and Tom seemed to be reacting much better to the changes in him. Making changes of their own. Fanny was blooming like a flower in the sun. Much of the credit went to Crawford, but she had been so happy for the family support as well. Tom and her relationship was becoming much more like siblings. Her care for Tom during his illness had been so important to his recovery. Tom was becoming everything he could hope for in the next man to take over their family. Fanny had a hard time accepting his kindness at first but was doing better. She had seemed to have a wonderful time on their trip to London. Enjoying the theatre, several parties and shopping for the first time. It had given her an introduction to the society of town without throwing her in for a whole season. She had even found a good friend in the Gardiners’ niece. Sir Thomas had made known to Fanny how welcome Miss Bennet was to return to Mansfield. It had taken Tom to finally convince her that it would not be an imposition. Susan was much with his wife and it would be nice for Fanny to have someone with her until her wedding. He could also see the appeal of someone like Miss Bennet for Tom. Her influence would do much to keep Tom in a clam and useful lifestyle. 

This had led him to his last kindness once they were back at Mansfield. Susan. Susan had been such a help to his wife, especially in their absence. She had much of Fanny’s sweetness but without the harshness of his household making her feel less, a confidence that would do her well. He was allowing all three of the ladies to see more of estate management from the male perspective. Miss Bennet, Fanny and Susan seemed to already have a good handle on a mistress’s role. He did not think Fanny or Miss Bennet would need to take on the responsibilities of Master unless some tragedy befell their husbands. Susan was an unknown though. After seeing how little adept Mr. Rushworth was to manage his estate, and uninterested Maria was in it; he knew their steward would always have too much power. He wanted Susan to be able to manage no matter what type of husband she found. 

Tom seemed to have a renewed interest in the minutiae of Mansfield and business dealings as he took to helping show the ladies what was done. 

* * *

Jane’s visit to Mansfield park had been much different than she had expected. When she agreed to return home with Fanny to her Uncle’s house she expected a quieter more refined version of her own home. A time where she could enjoy the repose of it and escape the bad memories of the recent months. While the quiet refinement was present it had not been as boring as she expected. Despite Sir Thomas’s strict view of propriety and wish for his nieces to be ladies, he also wished to have them begin to have a knowledge of business affairs that would not be considered part of a ladies education. She was familiar to some degree as her father had pushed much of his work off on to Lizzie. Lizzie in turn shared with her as they each worked together to do what their mother and father and pushed off on to them. Sir Thomas had made it clear that no lady SHOULD be expected to know these things, but that he had nagging worries. He also mentioned times when a mother must act for her son until he is ready. This made a lot of sense to Jane. Her own father’s neglect of some duties drove home the need. How different their fortunes may have been if her mother had a better understanding of what was happening. 

Her stay had been more physical than expected as well. A wish to see Fanny exercise back to health, to teach Susan to ride, and for the ladies to see the estate work at hand had led to near daily riding. Jane had learned to ride but never really been free to ride like this. It was amazing to do so. The Crawfords often joined them and made a merry party. Seeing all corners of the estate and surrounding areas. 

Though she tried to put Mr. Bingley from her mind entirely she could not help in comparing him to the gentleman she was spending time with. Growing up with her own father’s lackadaisical nature as an example she had been to forgiving of it. His lack of concern for serious matters mixed with her tendency to only wish to see the best in people had caused her to overlook Bingley’s irresponsible manner. Seeing a sweetness and charm to it. It was harder now to not see that while he was still sweet and kind, the irresponsibility was not a part of that. The Bertram men and Mr. Crawford were all kind and considerate. Tom and Mr. Crawford even often laughed and teased. But they were serious when serious matters were at hand. They could put away their playful nature to deal with tenant disputes, or business issues. She had been contemplating the matter all morning, not realizing how quiet she had been. Seated on a rug in the shade with Fanny and Susan while the gentlemen were looking at a drainage ditch and the benefits of bridging it. 

“You have your Bingley face on.” Fanny called her from her thoughts. 

Someone other than Lizzy knowing what had happened with Bingley was a relief. Fanny was less of a person to categorize things as black and white, good or bad than Lizzy. She understood that someone need not be bad to hurt you. Though the relief of someone knowing also meant Jane could not brush her upset away or hide it as she was used to when it surfaced. “Sorry, I am bad company today. I am not brooding I swear. Just...processing. That would be a good word for it. So much has happened, and it has given me a different perspective on what has happened.” 

“And what is this new view.” Fanny asked

“I was very much an absolutist, in thinking someone had to be all or none in many ways. I oversimplified the people I met into categories that made sense based on the limited society I knew. I knew serious men who were not kind, and kind men who were not serious and mistook that these things were related, not separate characteristics that may be independent of each other. It must have been very different for you being around such people.” Jane tried to explain, gesturing toward the gentlemen. 

“Oh, Jane. If only. I have known these men who are serious on serious matters and kind and relaxed only as long as you have.” Fanny laughed. Jane and Susan both looked rather confused. 

Fanny previously had only had a chance to talk of some of the bumps in the road of her and Henry coming together. She told them of the way things had been for her and Mansfield, and the summer with the Crawford's arrival, of her refusal and his changes, and how Tom changed as well. Lastly of how her Uncle had begun to change. “So you see, I am new to seeing this side of them as well. Edmund was kind yet serious, but also more stiff than Tom or Henry. We are always taught to see maturity as a product of age. Like we reach a point, a finish line of sorts and we are then responsible adults. But it is about processing, as you said, taking things in and learning. Age is no guarantee. Some men like Henry’s uncle behave their whole lives as boys with their first taste of freedom. Some men have different experiences and are steady and serious from a young age. Some take it too far, never learning to bend. Each of the men here at Mansfield have grown into better people in the last year.”

“So you think Bingley will change in time.” Jane seemed a little unsettled at this thought. Her old habits nagging at her to give everyone infinite chances.

“We all will. I have changed, you have changed. We will continue to do so. I mean that you should judge him in the now as he is in the now. I refused Henry the first time, because I knew I could not be happy with the man he was. He may have changed even if I said yes, but it was not a risk I was willing to take. I was not asked to honor and love the man he could someday become if everything fell into place. Me refusing him was a catalyst for change. That was not guaranteed, he may have continued as he was. The same is true of Bingley. He is young yet, he may soon grow into a wonderful man, strong in his convictions and upright in his morals. Or he may remain weak and easily led. It is not your place to decide or worry about that, it is his. You can only take him as he is today, and ask yourself if you, as you are today, would be happy with that.” Fanny attempted to break down the way she saw the differences and what had changed between her and Henry.

“Thank you Fanny, it does make it all seem much simpler. By always wanting to see the good only I was often giving people credit for potential as if it was character. When that is not always the case. I have also changed much from the person I was a year ago, I fear you are right. The woman I am in this moment would not suit who he is right now. Like two roads that met at a point and then headed in different directions. There may come a point when the paths would meet and run smoothly together again, but I am not going to wait on it. On hope alone.” The cloud seemed to lift from Jane with this thought. She may tend to agonize over decisions but once they were made she did not worry on them anymore. What would be, would be and she could not control the path Bingley had taken, only her own. 

* * *

Fredrick was leaving Barton in the morning for Kellynch, leaving with a much lighter heart than his first night there. Everything about the place seemed to exude happiness. He could not be around such kind people, so much enjoying their life and not be lifted by it as well. The finality of Anne being lost to him was something he grieved, but as it was out of his control he was at least able to begin moving on. He had climbed up the hill leading to the wilderness behind the house this evening to enjoy the quiet and solitude, watching the sunset across the surreal place. He must have passed longer than he thought in reflection as Benwick was making making his way toward him. 

Settling down on the hill beside him, Benwick was quiet for a moment, then looking at Fredrick. “Do I need to worry about you once you leave here.” 

Fredrick considered this for a moment. “Truly I do not know. Being here with you all has been like some strange fairy land where I could not help but be happy despite what has happened. But I believe I will be okay. I go to Sophie, then possibly to see Harville again. To be with them is also to be at home. That will have to keep me.” Pausing again there seemed a small shift in Fredrick before he asked “How did you do it? How did you move past your love for Fanny, and the pain of her loss in a way that let you love Marianne the same?” 

“I did not.” Benwick sighed heavily “I did not move past my love for Fanny, or even her death. I will always love her, and always feel her loss. I do not love Marianne the same as I loved Fanny. I do not love her less, just differently. I love you and Harville both as my brothers, but you are not the same and my care for you is not the same. I can love Marianne without reserve despite their differences because I am a different man than the one who loved Fanny. We all change as time passes and things happen. Her loss shaped me as the crashing waves shift the cliffs. Pieces were torn away and a different man remains. I am not less, just different.” 

“A lot has changed since we first met.” Fredrick admitted “I know the man I was then would not recognize us now. I think the same every time new midshipmen set foot on board. It is hard to believe we were ever that young and foolish.” 

“Quit talking as if we are old men, Fredrick.” Benwick laughed at him. 

“We are far from it, but on days like today it does not feel so. I imagine in another decade we will sit and laugh at what hopeless fools we were at this age.” Fredrick laughed with him. 

“Probably, Wentworth. Let us return before Sir John sends out the dogs for us.”

* * *

Edward was surprised to receive a note from his mother demanding his presence again. He had not spoken to her since he had lost his temper with her. He regretted the harshness of his speech but not that he had said his piece. He never wished for a breach of peace with his family, but he would not be led around like a ladies dog either. Edward had returned her note agreeing to meet with her this afternoon. 

As he was shown in he steeled his posture to stand before his mother. Greeting her “Mother, I hope you are well.” 

She sniffed as if to disbelieve his concern. “Edward, it has come to my attention that your circumstances have been noticed by those of our social sphere, and is much commented on. It has reached a point were you must either be severed publicly from the family or something must change to elevate you to a standard expected of our connection with you.” 

“Mother, while I regret the harshness of my manner in speaking to you, it was not my intent to hurt you, I do stand by the content of the message. I will not marry with a mercenary intent in mind. Nor will abandon my choice to join the church.” Edward exhaled waiting for the hammer to drop as it always did when he disagreed with her. 

Mrs. Ferrars eyes narrowed with anger but she remained calm. “Fanny and Robert said I could expect as much from you. However, I do not wish the harm of such a scandal, as disowning you would cause, to fall upon them. So I have reached a compromise. Your brother through his friendship with the Rushworths has negotiated on my behalf to purchase the newly vacant living at Southerton. It has an income of around £500 per annum. I will also be bestowing the same £10,000 I gave to Fanny upon her marriage, as well as a small advance to move you back to more respectable conditions. If you wish to act like a younger son you shall be endowed as one.”

Edward considered this for a moment. He was upset that his father's wishes were still being disregarded, but in terms of his own happiness this was actually for the best. All he wanted was a quiet country parish and a family of his own. He responded in the tone he knew his mother wished to hear for once. “If that is what you think the right choice mother, I believe it will be best for everyone.” 

“While I will not prevent you from marrying as you wish, know that you will never be considered what is proper in society without a wife of some standing to ease the difficulties you seem to cause socially.” Mrs. Ferrars, finally feeling she had gained her point, called for her lawyer who had been waiting to enter. “Then we need only make the settlements and you can remove yourself from those embarrassing lodgings and back to somewhere respectable.”


	14. A blessing in comparison

Chapter 14: A blessing in comparison 

Edward had not even taken the time to acquire more “respectable” lodgings as his mother had called them. The parsonage at Sotherton would be available to him in a few months and if his present errand went as he expected he would be staying near Exeter until then, not in London. He had packed up and ridden for Barton the morning after he signed the settlement documents. His reception at the cottage this morning had been warm and welcoming by Mrs. Dashwood and Miss Marianne. Elinor had been reserved in her welcome but she always was more reserved in company. They had celebrated his change in fortunes with a warmth no one else had. After that it had not been hard to get Elinor alone. Almost as soon as they had headed out walking with her sisters they had made their excuses to run ahead somewhere. 

Edward stopped them in a small clearing off the path “Elinor, I need to confess something to you that you may find most surprising.”

“If you mean your engagement to Miss Lucy Steele, she took the liberty of informing me when she stayed at Barton Park.” Elinor took the hand she had placed on his arm when offered back, stepping away from him.

“I..she..I see. Well, you knowing that does make it somewhat easier for me to make you understand my actions when I visited you.” Edward was thrown, he had played this conversation out in his head a hundred times on the trip from London. Elinor already knowing what was going on had not factored into it. 

“Not really, it explained your reticence and distance. But it very much contradicted your visiting at all. It certainly did not explain your actions at Norland.” Elinor responded. 

He had expected her to be relieved to find him free of Lucy once he explained. Once again he tried to take the conversation back to the plan he had “You are right in that it was wrong of me to stay when I began to feel myself at risk. You have to understand, to have found everything that Miss Steele was not, to see a glimpse of what my life could have been with a wife of true understanding. I just kept telling myself one more day. That is why I have waited to approach you until I was sure all was set in my life, and not the second I was freed by Lucy marrying elsewhere. That is why I am now here. I want you to be able to...Well I want you to be secure should. I guess I am getting ahead of myself. Elinor, I have found you to be everything I could want in the future. Will you marry me?”

Elinor’s demeanor softened as she responded “Edward, when we first met at Norland we spent much time talking about the world. Of our views on society and morals. I thought from our conversations that we were in agreement on important matters. Your actions in hiding your engagement, and avoidance of the problems that arose from it. Your denial of a problem in regards to your family's treatment of me. These actions show that we do not see the same on important matters. Thinking right on issues does nothing if you do not act upon those beliefs. While I appreciate your struggles these past months to be in a better place before approaching someone for marriage. I do not believe as I once did, that we would be a good match. I am fond of you, and will always think of you as a friend, but that is all it could be. I am not completely convinced that it was me specifically that you wanted. That you did not just fixate on the first person who had the characteristics you feared Miss Steele lacked. I would recommend not attempting to form an attachment until you can see someone for who they are without it being a comparison to her, or to me.”

Edward tilted back on his heels as if slapped. In all his planning, in all his work to make this moment possible it had never occurred to him that Elinor would not say yes. Especially given the situation her family was in. He felt a flash of anger at her not seeing the honor of it. He immediately regretted it and began to color then, blushing at the thought. At assuming that she would fall at his feet thankful for anyone who could support her financially. 

His expression must have shown much of his thoughts for Elinor's expression changed from one of friendly sympathy to a more closed off formality. The expression on her face was a much greater blow than her refusal. He had come to think of her as his closest friend and her and her family as his only true allies. To see her closed off to him, he realized while they had always been his friends, he had done little to return the friendship. While his actions had been neutral at least, he had looked down on them without meaning to. He saw their station as less than his own. While not to the degree his mother and sister did, to make them not worth notice, he was still guilty of the thinking she would be grateful for the chance at an “elevation”. He was suddenly swamped with shame. 

“I am beginning to see Eli.. Miss Dashwood that you may have a very good point. I really have not lived up to the principles that I claim to believe in. That is even more alarming considering the place I have just taken in the church. I am lucky to have friends that I can count on to set me back on the right path.” Edward politely offered her his arm to continue walking. 

Elinor, taking it for the olive branch it was meant to be, placed her hand on his arm and continued with him. “I hope our friendship can continue and we can always be honest with each other in such ways.” 

“I would not give it up for the world.” Edward replied

* * *

Elizabeth had thought her father ridiculous to have caved to Lydia’s want to go to Brighton just to avoid her tantrum. She now thought differently. Colonel Forster had come a few day prior to speak to her father and let him know of some circumstances that made him unable to have his wife travel with him to Brighton. She would be returning to his sisters home. After he left and the news was given to Lydia the household had been an explosion of screaming and crying. According to Lydia it was all lies and her chances were being sabotaged by everyone. In her mind the family needed to travel to Brighton so she still got to go. Even their mother could not seem to calm her. It really was unbearable. 

Lizzy thought nothing of the news, assuming Mrs. Forster would likely be having a baby in the next half year and her husband did not wish it to happen in an army camp. The last few days had changed her mind. The officers had been seen less in town, despite their removal having been postponed for another fortnight. All social obligations were being refused and several of the senior officers were seen speaking gravely and quietly to tradesman and shopkeepers. 

The one perk of Lydia's uncontrollable tantrums were that her mother had not had anyone over or been about town herself. Elizabeth’s father had finally put his foot down, baring Lydia from leaving or anyone from entertaining guests until she was quiet. This meant her mother was not aware that Mr. Bingley had returned to town. He and Mr. Darcy had called on her father earlier in the week while her mother was laying down in the afternoon to calm her nerves. The ladies of the family had stayed in London so she was at least not required to return the call. Her mother would have been near as bad as Lydia if she found out that Mr. Bingley had returned while Jane was unavailable to throw back under his nose. Elizabeth was glad Jane was not around to be pressured by their mother. Elizabeth too had previously pushed for the connection believing that it would make Jane happy, but her letters recently had shown that her father’s point about a firmer man might have been right. Jane had talked much of Mr. Bertram and the gentlemen of Mansfield. Elizabeth was happy for her. 

Knowing Jane was happy and moving past the hurt from Bingley’s desertion was one of her few constellations in the tumult of her home. She had taken to walking further and longer than was usually politely allowed. It was her only escape from the carrying on of her sister, the fights between Lydia and Kitty, the lectures of Mary and her mother's dramatics. She had walked nearly to Netherfield on an old riding path this morning for a change of scenery. 

“You! I should have known. When I saw Darcy I should have known his attack dog would not be far behind. Did you come to try to ruin me worse than you already have. I know you both played a hand in it. So much for you keeping your mouth shut, I guess I no longer need to either, I am sure many would love to hear of Georgianna’s willingness to see me unchaperoned.” Elizabeth stopped hearing voices from up around the turn of the road. She stepped off the road. The nasty and vitriolic nature of the voice that was screaming making her afraid to be seen by the person wielding it. 

“Do not flatter yourself. As if Darcy would need any help should he wish to squash you like the vermin you are. I waited until you were to have departed to come here. I had no wish to associate with the likes of you. Our arrangement was not violated. We agreed to pay for your next pathetic attempt at a beginning and not to call you to meet on a field of honor should you keep my cousin’s name from your mouth and mend your ways. Slandering Darcy, running up debts you never intend to pay and meddling with the shopkeepers daughters is hardly keeping to that deal. And I dare you to even insinuate something about Georgianna. You met with her in her own visitor’s drawing room with her companion in hearing range. Say otherwise and I would love to meet you with swords. I can think of nothing more pleasant than the thought of my blade through your guts and your blood dripping down my fist. You have already shook down this family for two careers. Darcy paid for you to go into the law in place of that living, he paid for you to have a new career that you clearly bought a commission with when your pathetic attempt to seduce a child for her money failed. It will not happen again.” The voice Elizabeth heard return the nasty grating voice was clearer, and lacked the nasty sneer, but it did not lack anger. She knew she should sneak away from such a heated conversation but the curiosity was killing her. She knew the first voice but could not place it. She moved silently through the under growth of the trees dividing her path from theirs. She did not get close enough to gain their attention. The first man, the larger of the two, was a stranger, a man in a red coat. 

She nearly failed to contain her gasp when the second turned to respond to him again and she made out the profile. It was Wickham. She could not believe it at first, the nasty sneer on his face so changing the countenance she knew. That is why she both recognized the voice and did not. The honey tones of the man were gone, only acid remaining. She could not believe it was the same man. Though she should have when Darcy and a living was brought up. She also now belatedly remembered that Georgianna was the name of Darcy’s sister. The one Wickham had called cold and proud. “How is destroying my name within the regiment leaving me be. If I am to go down I will take her with me.”

The larger man responded. “Again, I dare you. I never spoke your name. I heard from Darcy that you were up to your old behavior and warned the Colonel, a friend, that I knew some of his men and heard they were up to no good. If he found you to be at fault then you left loose ends for him to find. Knowing you with his own young wife. You like to blame us for your misfortunes but there is no one to blame but yourself. My uncle elevated you beyond your birth and gave you multiple chances to be more. Darcy has given you two more. Instead of taking this you throw it away bemoaning your lot at not being born the worthless son of some lord instead of the worthless son of his steward. At the end of the day you would still have nothing as you do nothing to deserve it. I should have saved the rest of the world some trouble and ran you through in Ramsgate. THIS. IS. YOUR. LAST. CHANCE.” The man punctuated each word with a finger stabbed into Wickham's chest. “ I even hear a word of you being anything other than an upstanding member of your regiment, living up to what your father was and you will find your throat slit some night leaving one of those charming establishments you like to whore and gamble at. Good day Mr. Wickham.” With that the man remounted his horse and rode off toward Netherfield. 

Elizabeth stayed frozen among the trees. Terrified at being heard even more so now that she was alone with Wickham. He spit on the ground in the direction the man had ridden off hissing like an angry cat. After a moment he shook himself looking around as if finally coming back to his surroundings. His face changing completely as if he pulled up a mask, returning to the sweet faced charming man she had known. Once he composed himself he walked off toward the direction of town and the camp. 

Elizabeth stayed where she was barely even breathing for another quarter of an hour. Once she was sure she was alone she made for the direction of home. Trying to maintain her composure. Afraid of the man she had seen Wickham become. Also so very very confused. She had always prided herself on the way she read people. It was one thing to watch people you have always known and know their thoughts from their body movements and expressions. It would appear it was very different to judge men she did not know what their thoughts were. 

Once she was safely back in her own gardens she calmed some. Not wishing to return to the house still so upset she wandered among the paths there eventually seating herself on an old swing. She felt like such a fool. When she went back over her interactions with Wickham it was so easy to see the duplicity and falseness of his words in comparison to his actions. She had believed all he had to say because he had pandered to her flattering her. She found it so easy to believe Darcy the villain. Why, because he did not find her worth dancing with. No, she knew when she really thought about it, it was that he said “not interesting enough” she had always considered herself smart and witty and interesting. It was her consolation for never being as beautiful as Jane was or as Kitty and Lydia were shaping up to be. Elizabeth had hated him for his pride because it had taken a shot at her one vanity. She could not really be mad now. It is hard to be bitter at someone not finding her intelligent when she had been so stupid. All of her father’s comments about silly little girls seemed now to carry much more sting in retrospect. She wished Jane were here. Someone kind to cry upon, someone who would tell her she was too harsh with herself just as she was with others. 

Foolish or not, she needed to stop feeling sorry for herself in the garden and return home. She did not want to do it, but her father needed to be informed of what she heard. She had left the house this morning thinking it was about time he caved and let Lydia return to going to town. Now she saw just what danger there was for her right here. Her father must be warned no matter how little she wished to admit to eavesdropping, and and how little she wished to admit to her own wrong opinions. 

* * *

Fanny’s wedding was in the morning. Tom knew his time with Miss Bennet was ending. He had talked with his father late last night explaining what he felt. Very much worried about disappointing him again, especially when they had just reached a point where his father seemed to respect him. He had been surprised when after he had poured his heart out to his father only to have Sir Thomas laugh and ask him if he thought his father simple. Confused, he said nothing and his father good naturedly explained that he would not have allowed Jane to stay for so long if he did not approve of her. Sir Thomas explained that Tom did not need fortune as his heir so long as he remained responsible and did not return to his previous lifestyle. As far as connections, Sir Thomas himself had seen the changes coming in their society and actually approved of the Gardiners. Miss Bennet had all of the things that had drawn Sir Thomas to his Lady, but with a more active spirit to direct her kindness. Sir Thomas had given not only his consent, but his enthusiastic approval to Tom’s wishes. 

It was now or never he kept having to remind himself for courage. Well maybe not never. It was now or he would have to follow her back to Longbourn. Unless he wished to try to propose at Fanny’s wedding. He was afraid though. It had not even been a full year since he fell ill. What if he did not yet deserve her? What if he was not ready? Would he wake up tomorrow feeling his responsibilities like a manacle around his neck as he had when he first came of age? He did not want to marry just to shame her along with his family. But he did know the now or never feeling was not completely off. Someone like Miss Bennet would not wait for him, and he knew he would never find another to compare to her. It was time to put away his fear and insecurities. He knew this was what he wanted. Now he just needed to convince her. 

He also needed to stop lurking behind this door watching her, she was sitting on the terrace book in her lap, and go out there before she saw him staring. Taking a deep breath, that he seemed to need to pull clear down to his toes, he walked out to join her. 

She flushed a gentle rose color at the sight of him, smiling brightly “Mr. Bertram. I was just enjoying the last of your wonderful views before I head off tomorrow.” she gestured around them to the sloping lawns. 

He sat on the Bench next to her. Returning her smile. She looked at him and all his grand and practiced speeches were gone. All the poet's words Edmund had fed him fleeing as the sight of her smile struck him. He would have to do this simple as he was. “It need not be the last. They could be your views as well. Forever.” 

“Are you..” Jane asked in a whispery hopeful voice, almost as if afraid to speak aloud and have the moment escape. 

He took her hand. “Absolutely. Miss Bennet, I would be forever blessed if you would agree to be my wife. I have never in my life encountered anyone who could begin to compare to you. If you say yes I will spend every day doing whatever it takes to make you happy.” 

Jane by this point was crying silently. Tom worried for a moment that this was not a good sign. Until she suddenly yelled “YES” abandoning her usual tendency to withhold her feelings, throwing her arms around his neck, her voice returning to a whisper. “A thousand times, yes. Forever.” Tom embraced her back. All of the fears washed away as he pulled her close. He could never see her as a burden, never see a life with her as any but the blessing it was.


	15. An amicable compromise

Chapter 15: An amicable compromise

Mary was sad to see everyone leaving Mansfield. Miss Bennet had been a delight to meet. She was so much like Fanny, but more open and more conversational. Mary very much looked forward to her marriage to Tom and to having her settled at Mansfield. She would greatly add to the neighborhood. Especially as it now appeared Fanny and Henry would be returning to Everingham after their wedding trip. Mary was quite surprised. Hearing Henry tell her of it was one of the reasons she had come to say her goodbyes and help Fanny pack to leave. After a while of small talk her curiosity got the better of her.

"So Henry told me this morning that you will be returning to Everingham. I must say I am surprised. I know he offered to let it out and find a house here near here, near your family." Mary finally broached the topic

Fanny paused in boxing up her items. "Mansfield will always be like a home to me, and we will visit often, but Henry must not always be the one to move towards my wants. He agreed to return for the Christmas holidays and to have you and Susan return with us to London for a while after that if you wish. Everingham is his estate and will be his legacy for our children. It is important. He has changed so much to meet me in the middle. It is only right that I build bridging toward him as well. I fear leaving home and change, so going to Everingham will be our compromise. It is a quiet country life for me, but his home and responsibilities for him, and some small times in Town for adventure. I wish for his happiness as well as my own."

Mary's affection for Fanny swelled even more. "Well my dear sister, it is a wonderful view of marriage. I am so happy Henry found you. You have already made him a better man, now you seek to make him a happy man as well."

"As all couples should." Fanny responded, closing up her last box.

Mary said her goodbyes then made her way out and toward the parsonage. "As all couples should" kept ringing in her head. She had been so focused on improving herself she never thought about the idea that two people should meet in the middle to bridge their differences. She had seen the error of much of the behaviors of Town, but that did not make it all bad. She enjoyed her time at the theatre and the concerts. She liked the dancing and more varied society. Meeting people who had traveled and experienced different things.

Mary was having a hard time seeing herself locked away in a small village like Thornton Lacy, never leaving and never seeing anyone else. When she had spoken with Edmund of his plans for life he seemed to see no reason to ever travel, or spend time away from his home. He felt that the only reason people would travel to London is to serve and he was not in parliament or any council for the church, nor did he have any desire to be. As he also did not intend to take a foreign mission he saw no reason to travel. Mary still felt Edmund was superior company to many of the men she had seen in London, but the comparison to his brother and father had not survived their latest return. They were both still superior men, serious in their business dealings and moral obligations. They however had a side that wished to have dances, and experience concerts. Sir Thomas has been a delightful host when they traveled to London to get wedding clothes for Fanny. He even talked of returning to his foreign holdings next year.

When she spoke of wanting to have a wider acquaintance and to travel, Edmund tried to correct her. Always treating her wants as if they were a defect of character she just needed to get past, to grow out of. Despite other people he respected having the same views. There was still a large gap between them. She knew this, but it had not occurred to her that each person should work towards it, if they wished to make the other happy. She had been doing all of the work to meet him. Even Fanny, so set in her ways could work to find a happiness that suited them both. It hurt to realize that while Edmund seemed to esteem her he was unwilling to budge on a single view he held. Would that be the case in every issue that arose? Mary was not willing to live her life with no input of her own. Always demurring to her husband's wants. It was not the type of woman she was. It was not the marriage she wanted. It made Edmund seem no better than Doctor Grant. This was something she needed to think on.

* * *

The dinner at Sir Lukas's had been entertaining to say the least. It was a nice society introduction for Georgianna. Fitzwilliam was relieved when the militia had finally rolled out and it was safe for her to start visiting about the neighborhood. The people that had come to the introduction dinner were all very nice. They lacked the polish of Town, but all the better to ease Georgie's anxieties.

The biggest surprise had been seeing Darcy's interactions with Miss Elizabeth Bennet. He didn't know what he had expected from someone that had drawn his cousin's affections, but it certainly wasn't the distant and cool interactions. While the lady was very appealing in general and her interactions with himself enjoyable, she had no warmth for Darcy. Just a cold wariness. Miss Lucas had dropped a few hints when he mentioned they seemed like less than friends. Fitzwilliam could almost laugh. Leave it to his cousin to finally take a liking to a woman and have it be one that did not like him. Him and Georgie would have to see if they could help him out. He may have an ally in Miss Lucas as well. She was a good friend to Miss Elizabeth and seemed to see some of the attraction Darcy had for her friend.

He had hoped Binley would make a good ally for his project to bring Darcy together with his lady, but the evening's dinner had ended with some news that may have Binley in a less than cooperative mind. Mrs. Bennet had dropped an implication to Mrs. Lucas that was overheard by himself and Binley. She had mentioned Jane returning home, and escorted by Sir Thomas and his elder son, a son who most wished to speak to Mr. Bennet upon his arrival. They all knew what that meant. Binley had made his excuses for them to leave not too long after that. Fitzwilliam was not surprised, when he arrived and was told that Binley's Angel had met a friend in town and was staying at Mansfield he tried to warn Darcy. He knew Tom and he knew his father, and Sir Thomas would not have allowed a woman he was not angling for to stay with them in such a way. Tom had also seemed to have a mind to settling down when he talked to him in London. He guessed it was now the difference between expecting something you have been dreading and knowing it has come to be.

Binley had insisted to Darcy he was fine but the light still burning in the billiards room told him otherwise. Fitzwilliam entered to find Binley playing in his shirt sleeves, a drink resting on the sideboard. "Is this a single game or might I join you."

Bingley blushed a little as if ashamed for anyone to see him not in his usual smiling and jovial mood. "Of course Fitzwilliam, I am always glad of your company." Placing a large forced smile across his face.

"You know you need not do that, you are not required to put on a show at all times. You can be angry, or hurt or disappointed." Fitzwilliam shed his coat and poured himself a drink.

"I should be fine, it was expected, and what right do I have to be hurt." Binley stated as he racked the table to begin a new game.

"Well that is assuming feelings are rational. If I shoot myself in the foot it will still hurt the same as if you did it." Fitzwilliam offered.

Binley snorted "Aptly put. I reconciled myself to the fact that it would be a hard road to gain her forgiveness, but I still saw it as a possibility. Now that it is gone I guess it is time to begin reconciling myself to that."

"So you still wished to have her after some time away? Unlike Miss Williams or Miss Parson? Oh and Miss Everly and what was her name, the admiral's daughter?" Fitzwilliam asked an eyebrow raised.

"I take your point very well Fitzwilliam." Heaving a long sigh and rubbing his face Bingley replied "but miss Bennet is something more, she is much superior to those you mentioned."

Fitzwilliam paused in lining up his shot. "I have no doubt from listening to you all talk that she is a wonderful and fine woman, but her being a better choice than your previous infatuations does not make her a good fit for you."

"I know you probably think me too weak as well, Darcy has tried to encourage me to find some woman who will fight my battles if I don't wish to step up and be a man." Binley finished his drink, his tone becoming bitter.

"Darcy has once again put his foot in his mouth with the best intentions it would seem." Fitzwilliam sighed. "We do not see you as weak. Just avoidant of conflict. It is not a flaw, just a difference. I charge into all conflicts at full speed. It does not make me a stronger man than you, just different. For every situation that I charged at and you would stand back, with the results having me called bold and applauded, there are probably two that you would be the wise and patient man and I the hot blooded fool. Darcy has always felt you would do better with a woman who complimented your nature instead of matching it. He may have a point, but you need to stop seeing things in such extremes. You are drawn to women the extreme opposite of your sisters. Which I understand, but you need not take it to such lengths. There are lots of wonderful women who do not avoid conflict, and who will support you in doing so without being complete harridans."

"I am trying, this time here was not just waiting for Miss Bennet to return. I am trying to find the firm foundation I must stand on if I wish to not have to rely on others to fight my battles. I just had hoped that it was work with a goal in mind. That it was all to be the man she needed me to be." Binley confessed frustrated.

"See, that. Why should you have to be the man she needs. Be the man you need to be and know that when the right woman comes along that will be enough. Stop trying to go to extremes and know that there is someone who will meet you in the middle. Someone who has all the kind and outgoing nature of Miss Bennet but a sterner temperament, that can help you stand tall and weather the storm of life. I spend time with military men Bingley, men who are often gone from their homes for months or years at a time. Their wives have to stand in their place and keep their household running. Their wives are not all demanding shrews, they are just cut off a sterner stuff than your "Angels". There is much ground between a mouse and a lioness." Fitzwilliam assured Binley

"You may have a point. I need to do this not for someone else but myself. Hopefully once I figure out who I am I will find a woman who fits that man. Maybe a nice ferocious house cat." Bingley finished his shot smirking at the thought.

* * *

Benwick was glad he had waited to ask Marianne to be his wife. It was nice to have the time to court her properly. To win her over slowly without pressure on either of them. To get to know each other and make sure their attraction and affection was not a reaction to other things that had happened in their lives. He could now answer with surety that it was not simply loneliness that drove him. He also believed he could say that Marianne saw him for himself and not a replacement for Willoughby.

He was also glad because it had been a hectic time for the family and he was glad for him and Marianne to have been there to help support the family. Anne's marriage and departure was bittersweet for the family. Happiness for the wonderful match she had made, but the loss they felt at her departure was as keen as if she were family.

The sadness of her leaving soon turned to hope when Mr. Ferrars came to visit. Mrs. Dashwood came alive again in the joy she expected for her elder daughter. This quickly turned into a tumult when Elinor tried to quietly take her mother aside after their solitary walk to explain that they would not be marrying. This was overheard by the other sisters and soon turned to a family dispute that was only ended when Benwick got them all to sit down and talk. He then threw Mr. Ferrars to the wolves by volunteering that he would explain. Benwick had picked up from conversations between Anne and Elinor, and Elinor's reaction to Fredrick that there was much more to this situation. Ferrars quietly and calmly explained his previous engagement and his actions following. Letting his friends know of what he had come to realize in Elinor's refusal. Mrs. Dashwood and Marianne were quick to feel anger and outrage on Elinor's behalf, but the soft hearted nature was just as quick to take Elinor's lead in forgiveness. Mr. Ferrars had left with a slightly more somber send off than his arrival had entailed, but still one of warm and true friendship. Benwick was impressed again at the sheer amount of kindness and love the Dashwoods had for they cared for.

He had given it a few days after the departure for things to return to the domestic calmness he had come to so prize before he took Marianne out for a long walk among the woodlands. He had meant to propose many times before now, but for some reason the words just never seemed to come to him. As Marianne snaked through the trees along the side of the path, shadows falling upon her, the light dancing in patterns he knew the words he wanted though they were not his own.

Following her into the dancing light he took her hand "She walks in beauty, like the night. Of cloudless climes and starry skies; And all that's best of dark and bright. Meet in her aspect and her eyes; Thus mellowed to that tender light. heaven to gaudy day denies. One shade the more, one ray the less, Had half impaired the nameless grace Which waves in every raven tress, Or softly lightens o'er her face; Where thoughts serenely sweet express, How pure, how dear their dwelling-place. And on that cheek, and o'er that brow, So soft, so calm, yet eloquent, The smiles that win, the tints that glow, But tell of days in goodness spent, A mind at peace with all below, A heart whose love is innocent!" Benwick paused pressing a kiss to her hand. "Marianne will you make wherever I may dwell dear? Light the rest of my days with the glow of your smile? Will you put my mind at peace and agree to love me as my wife?"

Benwick had always thought Marianne would be the type to weep in her happiness, he could not have been more wrong. Her smile lit up the shadows that fell upon them like the brightest of embers. Burning with a glow that he could feel to the very core of his being. "For love is heaven, and heaven is love.' I could have no greater wish than to live in the heaven of your love." Marianne's response lifted his heart to levels of joy he had forgotten existed. He found himself kissing her with more vehemence than he should have.

Remembering himself after a moment, he led her back to the path to continue their journey. "So do you mean for our engagement to be as calmly paced as our courtship was." Marianne asked with a devious tilt to her smile.

"Most definitely not" Benwick's response held enough heat to leave Marianne blushing.

She collected herself asking "So my family will have to resolve themselves to our departure sooner rather than later."

Benwick had been thinking on the matter of where they would go after marriage as well. He knew Marianne would acquiesce to any place he chose but being a part of this family for so long he had no wish to tear them apart. "Only for a little while my dear." He kissed her hand again giving her another loaded look "I want you all to myself for a time after the wedding, possibly a trip along the coast. But after that my love, if it is to your wishes and your families I would like us to stay here. I do not like the idea of leaving your mother and Elinor alone to look after Meg. Or to separate you from them. I considered inviting them to live with us wherever we settled at first. Though it seems silly to remove you all from Barton when I love it here too. It is a day's ride from the people who I have come to see as family so it is no hardship for me to remain here. It would also bring me comfort to know you were with family should I be called back to service."

Marianne seemed to glow even more at his thoughtfulness and love of her family. "So you wish to seek somewhere in the village?"

"I thought of the cottage itself." He laughed as Marianne looked at him doubtfully. "It was actually your mother's laments of the improvements she would like to make to it that made me think of it. I thought we might all spend a month in Lyme with my friends once our wedding trip was over. In that time I can hire to have the improvements completed and a separate suite for us added above the drawing room she wants added. I would feel better not only having them near but under my roof and protection as I would my own family."

Marianne did not even have words to convey her happiness and thankfulness. Nor did Benwick, he had not only found the love to complete his life, but the family he had not realized he was missing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The poem Benwick quotes is Byron's She walks in beauty. Marianne's response is Sir Walter Scott's Love.


	16. A better fate than your advice has often found

Chapter 16: A better fate than your advice has often found 

The Gardiners had come to escort Miss Bennet home as Sir Thomas had previously arranged before leaving London. When they arrived this plan was changed to include Tom so he might approach Mr. Bennet for his blessings in person, and spend some time getting to know Jane’s family. After a private talk with Mr. Gardiner on the matter of what to expect of Jane’s family Sir Thomas decided to travel along as well. He remembered Bennet from their time in school. He hoped that their new connection and the respect they once had for each other would give him some collateral to call upon. What Gardiner had told him was very concerning. The next two daughters after Jane seemed to be simply needing more time in a greater society to polish off the rough edges. The two younger on the other hand, Gardiner had expressed actual fear for their behavior and temperaments. Especially the youngest. 

Sir Thomas had handed an ecstatic Miss Bennet over to her mother and parted ways yesterday with the family with an invitation to dine tonight. Tom had stayed behind to speak to Mr. Bennet while Sir Thomas had seen to their accommodations in the town. Tom returned all smiles from his conversation, all things settled on that front. Mr. Bennet had easily given his blessing for his daughter leaving Tom him to mostly talk of his prized library. 

Dinner tonight had been a painful affirmation of the concerns that Gardiner had expressed. The youngest child had no business being out, still very much a little girl in her decorum. The next one Miss Catherine acted out trying to regain some of the attention that her sister seemed to monopolize. Neither was ready for society even in this little town let alone in the more exacting standards of London. Miss Mary was an intelligent girl but her embarrassment at her family's behavior had her reacting in the other extreme. It made her come across very shrewish. She was too rigid and judgmental. Much as his own Edmund had become, most likely as a reaction to his brother's previous frivolous nature. 

The after dinner division promised to be even more painful. Mr. Gardiner had agreed to help the Bertram men discuss matters with his brother-in-law. Once they were all settled in the book room conversation paused, each wondering how they would begin the topic. 

“Such grave faces. Well now that you have seen what silly women she is a part of Young Mr. Bertram, do you still wish to wisk my Jane away.” Mr. Bennet smirked at Tom. 

“Nothing could change my mind in regards to Jane, Mr. Bennet. But I will not lie and say I do not feel very concerned at her sister's actions. Not merely for the social stigma of association with someone who acts in such ways, but fear for worse ramifications that they may find themselves in with such attitudes.” Tom squared his shoulders and started the conversation he did not want to have. 

“So that explains the glum faces, is this to be my intervention of sorts. You are all to now tell me how to raise my children?” Mr. Bennet asked 

Mr. Gardiner shook his head explaining. “Bennet, are you really going to pretend there is no issue? I know my sister can be demanding in getting her own way with the girls, and that you have no wish to fight her but something must be done.” 

Mr. Bennet’s mocking tone and posture sobered “A month ago I might have told you that you were overreacting and they were just silly young girls having their fun. Two conferences this month have shown me the error of that.” He rubbed his face, looking suddenly very tired. “Lydia was to go to Brighton with the silly young wife of the Colonel. He rescinded the invitation after he had a letter that caused him to look a little more closely at his men's actions. He found some disturbing tales of his own wife's actions in the process. I fear that my own daughters may have been included in some way or at least privy to her actions. I think they have come to see much wilder behavior, then I would have thought them exposed to, to be acceptable. The problem lies in that I do not have the energy to fight all of them at once. They outnumber me and I have allowed them to have their own way for much too long. I also was informed by my elder daughter that I have been much mistaken in my own ability to judge the character of those I allowed around my daughters..” 

Mr. Gardiner spoke up “Bennet, I know how difficult my sister can be. That is why I suggested it might be better if her influence was taken out of the equation in at least the matter of Lydia.” 

“You know I cannot afford to send her off to school, nor do I think I could keep her mother from just bringing her home.” Bennet admitted

Sir Thomas spoke up for the first time then “That would be where I come in. I have another niece who has recently come to stay with me. As she was not given the benefit of a governess the way my other niece who lived with us was, I have hired one geared toward preparing a lady for her coming out to teach Susan. I am extending the invitation for Miss Lydia to come join her. It will be harder for your wife to object to such an opportunity. Especially as she seems unaware that my younger son no longer resides at my home. If she can be separated from the indulgences of your wife and placed in a situation where she will not be considered out any longer she may calm some.” 

Sir Thomas could see that Bennet was fighting his pride and offense at being told that someone might be more able to correct his daughter than he was. But he also seemed somewhat relieved at the thought of allowing it to be someone else's problem. 

Gardiner spoke up again. “ We will sell it to my sister as making up for the opportunity Lydia lost in not going to Brighton. This will allow you to focus on Mary and Kitty, you will more than have your hand’s full in seeing them ease into society. I am also willing to see a tutor paid to see to their education, as a gift for my nieces. Mary very much wishes to learn to play better, and Catherine needs to find something of her own. In the quiet, once Jane and Lydia depart, they will have more ability to focus.” 

Sir Thomas noticed Gardiner emphasizing the word “quiet” when he delivered his plan. It was then that there seemed to be a shift in the countenance of Bennet. He was much like his own wife then, wishing for quiet and peace above all else. It much explained Jane’s own personality despite the bustle of her mother and siblings. Sadly it was a quality more beneficial to a woman’s character than a man’s. It seemed to have shifted Bennet into agreeing to the schemes at least. 

“You may have a point there, Mary and Kitty do get overlooked much as the middle girls. It is only fair that they have our focus for a while. Lydia would like the chance to travel. Is your wife currently laying siege to your sister, as a backup should you not convince me Gardiner?” Bennet presented to his brother-in-law who immediately looked guilty. “As I figured, well that will at least save me convincing her to go along with it.”

“I am also willing to sweeten the deal for the girls. I have spoken to my niece Fanny and her husband and to Tom and Jane. Fanny and Henry with my sponsorship will host two of the girls this year for a season in London. Tom and Jane the other two next year. We considered letting who is the most ready according to their tutor decide who goes this year and who the next. Let it be their motivation. Though I predict it will be my Susan and your Miss Mary.” Sir Thomas added 

“That would ease much of the complaining and let them think of this more as the opportunity they should. I will go along with it.” Bennet seemed resigned at least, though still not happy about the interference.

Sir Thomas was glad they could reach an agreement. He felt very much for Bennet. Had he not made the same mistakes only in the opposite direction. Miss Lydia could use some of the formal restrictiveness of his home. It was only a pity that it was too late to send Edmund to Bennet to catch some of his relaxed nature and ability to laugh off and forgive the follies of others.

* * *

Admiral Crawford was deeply disappointed. Henry had sent him a letter earlier this month informing him of his marriage. Not his engagement but his marriage. He did have to smirk a little at the timing. Henry knew he would have tried to talk him out of it. So he was a little proud as well as disappointed. He had hoped Henry would put off getting married for as long as possible. He would need an heir, but better to enjoy his life while he could and then in his later years find some woman he could leave at the estate with the child while he kept to Town. Lord knows if he could do it again that is what he would have done. Though he never had that option, he was a younger son. He had married for fortune and connections. His late wife had been the daughter of the Admiral who had made him. Henry had an independent fortune and could do as he pleased. 

The new Mrs. Crawford must really be something. Though judging from her brother she was probably quite charming. He had liked the young man Henry brought home to meet him. He was made of sterner stuff than most of these little lordlings he had to deal with. Mostly pampered younger sons that thought the world owed them because of who their grandfather was. Though in retrospect he should have known something was up then. Henry never seemed to care about his friends enough to worry about their futures. Well played again Henry, he laughed to himself. Figures it was to woo this girl. 

Though he could not regret it. William Price had started as him using a favor and had turned into him being sent a fine bottle as a thank you. His old friend Admiral Stevens had taken him as a Lieutenant to pay back Crawford taking one of his idiot nephews. A man that had been a pain from the moment he stepped on Crawford's ship until the day he retired injured, by his own stupidity to boot. So he had no problem pawning Henry’s friend off on Stevens with little urging. Expecting to return the favor of one spoiled trouble maker for another. Assuming a friend of Henry’s must be a little lordling from the London party circuits. Instead the next time he saw Stevens he told him that he could not in good conscious call taking Price as his return favor and still owed him one. Price was hardworking, respectful and intelligent. Always willing to take initiative and see that work was done, even if it meant doing a job considered below his rank.

A few weeks ago a bottle of fine scotch whiskey had arrived with a second note of thanks. The boy had managed to save Stevens' life while they were taking a pretty nasty privateer. Price had managed to jump from a perch grabbing the rope end that snapped from a counterweight riding it half the mast height and stopping a rigging that would have swung to knock several officers from the ship in the middle of the enemy onslaught. Stevens was now making him Lieutenant Commander of the ship they managed to take that day, to bring it home. He was on track to be a Captain in the next few years if he kept it up. 

Thinking of what a surprise the male Price had come to be, a boon he should have kept for his own crew had him wondering if Henry might have decided the same of the sister. Seeing her as a boon to him that he needed to snatch up. She represented an interesting picture on paper. A woman of humble beginnings who would appreciate the place Henry could offer her. But still with the connection to the Bertrams of Mansfield. If Henry ever took a place in parliament that was nothing to sneeze at, especially as it seemed the heir was just as devoted to her if Henry was to be believed. A wife who opened all the doors that a high society bride did without the pretentions and airs. The brother also seemed quite devoted to her and he was a sensible and intelligent young man. He may have to give these prices another look. He would meet this Fanny when she and Henry finished their wedding trip. In the meantime he may have to look into the younger brothers in the service that Henry mentioned. If young John and Sam were made of the same stuff he would have to snag them before Stevens got the same idea.

* * *

Darcy was rather glad he had taken Fitzwilliam up on his offer for him and Georgie to come to Netherfield. He could only imagine how much worse off things would be without them. He had planned it all so well in his head. Warn people of Wickham. Back up Bingley on his pursuit of Miss Bennet. Then offer for Elizabeth. It would be a simple group of tasks and then he and Bingley could work on the nitty gritty of teaching him estate management while they enjoyed their engagements. What an arrogant self important fool he had been. Fitzwilliam’s words, not his. While he had been offended at the time he had to admit now that they fit. 

He had watched his oh so perfect plan be blown away. The bit about warning of Wickham had worked but not remained as quiet as he had hoped. Wickham had already caused enough problems that when it was brought to Foresters attention he ended up delaying their departure to clean up the mess his men had made and send his own wife away for a while. Which Darcy still wondered about. Darcy felt guilty that he had not spoken up sooner. It would appear that things had gotten worse after he left. The delay had caused Wickham to still be here when Georgie arrived. They had managed to keep her from worrying about it, but that had not stopped Fitzwilliam from running into him. Darcy was just glad it had ended at threats and harsh words. Those two could never stand each other. Even when Fitzwilliam had visited Pemberley as a child, they had constantly butted heads. Though in retrospect it may have just been that Fitzwilliam was the first of them to see Wickham for what he was. That would also explain why Whickham always let Fitzwilliam upset him as well. He would not have liked to have someone see him for the snake he was. Fitzwilliam had managed to at least somewhat save that portion of the plan by convincing, or threatening depending on how you looked at it, Wickham not to retaliate against them and slander Georgie. 

His plan to aid Bingley in getting his Miss Bennet was also thrown out the window as soon as they arrived. They had visited Mr. Bennet only to have him gloatingly inform them that his daughter had gone off to London and was then on her way to visit with new friends at Mansfield Park. At first Bingley had lost no happiness, thinking of it only as a delay. Darcy had to be the one to break it to him that Sir Thomas Bertram had two grown, single sons of independent means still at home. Bingley had at first brushed it off but Fitzwilliam had been able to take Bingley aside and get him to at least accept that there was a chance Miss Bennet would not still be available on her return. Bingley had still hoped but at least he was braced for it after his talk with Fitzwilliam. He had also been the one to finally get through to Bingley after their warnings proved true. Bingley was still upset but was reconciling himself to the idea that it may be the best for everyone involved. 

The third part of his plan had never happened. He had luckily not gotten to that part before Fitzwilliam had arrived. They all had dined together at the Lucas home once it was safe for Georgie to be out in the society without the risk of running into Wickham. The next day he had been taken aside by Fitzwilliam, and once he managed to stop laughing at Darcy which took quite a while, he had explained that he might want to hold off embarrassing himself with a proposal as the woman in question detested his very being. Darcy had not believed him at first. He had later at lunch gotten Georgie to confirm it. She very shyly and embarrassedly admitted that Miss Elizabeth had said she had been surprised that she was so likeable and friendly when her brother hated everyone there and thought himself above their society. It was quite a blow to realize she thought him a pompous snob and assumed he hated her. In his own arrogance he had just assumed she would be glad for his attention, that he need not bother worrying about her returning his regard. She would be so thankful for his condescension she would accept. He made the mistake of admitting this to Fitzwilliam and was treated to a rather ugly dressing down. Well once Fitzwilliam had finished laughing at his expense quite excessively first. 

Darcy had ridden out this morning to try to think of what he would do now. To decide what if any of his plans for this trip could be salvaged. The only part left was to help Bingley with estate management and the more he thought of it, the more he doubted himself and the less he trusted his ability to give Bingley advice. He wanted to discuss it with Fitzwilliam, and had even brought him along on the ride, but Darcy was beginning to feel like he was dumping too much into his cousin's lap.

“Would you just spit it out? It is clear that something has got you punishing yourself again. What invisible standard did you fail to meet now.” Fitzwilliam interrupted his reverie to ask.

Darcy laughed a little at himself, he was always rather transparent when his cousin was involved. “All in all the last few weeks have left me feeling like a lost little boy playing dress up in his father’s clothes. Like I have just been pretending to be a responsible adult with things in order and now they are all crashing around my ears and my charade is up. I do not know what I would have done without your aid these last months. I now see why my father left Georgie’s guardianship half to you. You are the one who really has matters in hand. I have no business trying to lead Bingley or help him find his way, I cannot even find my own”

Fitzwilliam burst out laughing, nearly falling from his horse in the process. Once he gathered his composure he responded “That is rich. I am the one who should give advice and you are the boy? Darcy, you have allowed your self doubt to completely warp your perspective. So you made a mistake, we all do it. Most of us far more often than you. That does not make you a fraud. I am the last person people should be turning to, I am a spoiled manchild, more likely to talk than to think. For gods’ sake man, I only managed the rank I have to spite my father, he wanted me to stay and help with the family holdings and I ran off to join the military and made sure to succeed because he told me I would fail. My Uncle only named me a partial guardian to ensure my father would have to embarrass himself by showing his own son unfit in order to challenge you for it... My lord. I just realized your father was just as bad as the rest of us. No wonder your mother married him he was just like the Fitzwilliams” Fitzwilliam began to chuckle again at this thought. 

“My father did seem to delight in thwarting your father.” Darcy laughed at the bittersweet memory. “So I am wrong in trusting you as well. That is not reassuring, it just adds to my mistake list.”

Fitzwilliam shook his head “you are missing the point. What I was trying to make you see is that we all feel that way. Hell even our great father’s so set in their ways felt unsure when they were making decisions. Half of the way they ribbed each other and bantered was just them bouncing ideas off each other. We all feel like pretend adults. At least until we see someone younger struggling along, then we get to see how far we have actually come.” Fitzwilliam smirked at Darcy pointedly to make sure his last barb had struck. “You are an amazing guardian to Georgie, and an amazing manager of Pemberley. They all love you. You have made great decisions in regards to your property. You work very hard to keep it running smoothly. Do not doubt that. You have every right to guide your friend on how to do that. You have experienced it and you are succeeding. There is a great difference between sharing wisdom on matters you have gained it in yourself and of projecting your opinions on matters you have no first hand knowledge of. You are still entitled to your opinion, but you need to learn to give it as such and not dress it up as guidance.”

Darcy looked a little sheepish at the last comment. “And your advice on gaining that wisdom myself.”

Fitzwilliam laughed again. “Oh no. Not from me, I just told you no advice on matters you can not even manage for yourself. I am single for a reason. When I manage to convince a woman to put up with me, I will share with you how it is done. In the meantime I can only offer a friendly opinion. And that opinion is, by all means show off Lord Darcy when helping Bingley and dealing with business matters, but other than that put him away. Be the Will that you are with Georgie and myself. She will respect Mr. Lord of Pemberley, but Will is the man that will win her over. 

“If you wish to keep pretending to be the carefree wastrel younger son of a rich lord you are going to have to stop giving such sage advice.” Darcy pointed out feigning seriousness. 

“You are right, I shudder to think of it. All those stodgy old men at the club trying to talk to me as they do you. A nightmare. Do not tell my father, he will most definitely try to take advantage of me having any maturity by giving me all sorts of awful responsibilities. Though the problem with your lady could be resolved if you just let Georgie continue to visit her. Eventually she will sway Miss Elizabeth to the cult of Darcy worship” Fitzwilliam batted his eyelashes dramatically at Darcy mimicking a sweet girlish voice “it was a gift from my wonderful brother...my wonderful brother said...by amazing fabulous brother took me…”

“Enough out of you. I do not know why I bother to talk to you at all sometimes.” Darcy returned feigning exasperation. 

“See much better, I am rightfully demoted from wise older advisor to aggravating cousin who must be disregarded. All is right in the world.” Fitzwilliam responded mocking the stuffy posture of his cousin. 


	17. You are much mistaken

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay I was down with a rather nasty migraine, I tried to write anyways, it was a hot mess and I ended up rewriting most of it. So here is a slightly longer chapter for the wait. Thank you for all the lovely comments and kudos, they really make sticking with this worth it.

Chapter 17: You are much mistaken

Mary Crawford found herself once again walking along the shrubbery with Edmund. She still enjoyed his company, and especially his conversation, but she could no longer look at him and see a future for them. She no longer saw a fantasy of him as her husband. When he thought of the future he saw only Thornton Lacy, with the occasional trip to Mansfield. The land in between where they might spend time in Town, or he might take a seat on one of the churches councils would never exist. Edmund would soon be leaving for his brother's Wedding in Hertfordshire, and Mary feared he intended to propose before he did. His hints about being ready to move on from Mansfield and his brother's fine example had not been missed by her. She had up until now been putting off making her own decision on how to go forward. The last few conversations had led her to believe she could not say yes, and was afraid that to say no would be the end of her friendship with Edmund. 

Edmund abruptly changed the subject from that of the changing seasons they had previously been discussing “I have noticed that these past few months you have worked very hard to better yourself, to become in your actions and thoughts the wonderful woman I knew you to be.”

“Thank you, I notice you have not done the same.” Mary responded. She clearly had not changed so much that she could say other than exactly what was on her mind. Even when she had meant to address this conversation with a more delicate touch. She was kicking herself a little mentally. She had a plan to talk of this with a civil and serious tone, but her nature was to say what she thought in a more flippant manner. 

“Excuse me” Edmund stopped their progress through the garden to turn and look at Mary. Not seeming to believe he had heard correctly.

Mary exhaled and gathered herself to move forward with the conversation she knew that they needed to have. “I said, ‘You have not done the same.’ While the changes I have made have not been all in regards to you per se, but more toward who I wanted to be, I have tried very hard to improve myself in a way that would allow us to bridge our differences. You have done nothing to fix your deficiencies that would help you meet me in the middle.” 

Edmund just stared at her for several moments, mouth periodically opening as if he was going to speak and then pausing again. Finally he spoke “I see no deficiencies that I need to remedy in regards to our association.” 

“That in itself is the greatest deficiency of them all.” Mary responded giving an exasperated sigh. “Mr. Bertram, I think we will always be great friends, but I fear we will be friends as the bird at the shore is to fish in the sea. Too different in their nature to ever bridge the space between them and be but friends at that distance.”

Edmund seemed completely poleaxed by what he probably considered a very bold declaration. But his natural tendency to resort to polite civility whenever outside his depth seemed to kick in. “Well I also believe that it would take a very dire event indeed for us to ever be other than the greatest of friends.” He once again offered his arm for her to take and they continued their walk with a change of topic. While he still did not seemed not to see her point, he was at least retreating from the line of conversation that would have been very uncomfortable for them both. She was glad to not have to cause too much upset right before his brother's wedding.

* * *

Mary Bennet lived in a house full of people and full of noise, but that did not make it less lonely. She was always the odd end, left separate. Jane and Elizabeth had always made a natural pair, this was even more cemented when they were both out and began to make trips to the Gardiners together. Her Aunt was more traditional than their mother, not inviting the younger girls until the elders had married. Mary had had a playmate in Catherine until Lydia had gotten older. Then the mild and reserved Catherine had become “Kitty” mimicking the silly behavior of her wilder younger sister in an attempt to gain first their mother’s attention and then the notice of others. From that point on they had been another pair. This was made all the worse as her mother only doted on Lydia and sometimes Kitty, and her father favored the elder girls. Mary could never seem to mesh with what either group was doing. 

Mary hoped her place as the spare would soon change. Jane marrying was going to bring many changes to the family, other than just her departure, and the possibility that she would want Lizzie to be with her often. Mary was excited for Tom’s family to be in Hertfordshire. His uncle, aunt, brother, and cousin Susan had arrived last night. His sister Julia was to arrive tomorrow from London, along with his Cousin Fanny and her husband Henry. Tom had stayed behind in Hertfordshire when his Father went to retrieve the rest of the family. It was Tom’s cousins Fanny and Susan that Mary most wanted to meet. She liked Tom, he would make a wonderful husband to Jane and a good brother, but he was much like Lizzy in his temperament and Mary had a hard time connecting with him. Jane’s talk of Fanny and especially of Susan had given Mary hope of a chance at friends. Jane often compared her views to things that Fanny thought or said when they were together. Jane had said Mary was a perfect combination of the two of them. Fanny was already good friend’s with Jane and a married woman, so while Mary looked forward to meeting her, Susan was really the person she hoped could be the other person to make a pair with her. 

The Gardiners, Sir Thomas, and her father had been very discrete in their talks but Mary was good at reading her relatives unsaid words in their looks. Social cues were hard for Mary, and she could not naturally pick up the rhythm to social interactions that others did, but those she knew best she had studied thoroughly and could read. There was something going on. At first hearing the whispers she had hoped that she would get to go to Mansfield to be with Miss Price. When it was instead Lydia she had very much felt passed over. Until dinner that night when the loaded looks and sentences exchanged between the men had made her realize that Lydia was being sent away to have a stricter environment and education. So she had made her peace, even more so when she learned she was to have a teacher hired to help her and Kitty. Even though she would not travel to Mansfield with them she still hoped to find a friend in Susan Price. 

Mary had been briefly introduced when they had arrived last night. The ladies had arrived to call this afternoon and everyone sat around the drawing room. Her elder sisters had dictated most of the conversation with the adults in the drawing room. It had been a busy and slightly chaotic visit. Mary had little hope of getting to talk to Miss Price if things continued as such. She had just given up hope when Sir Thomas had mentioned possibly shortening the visit as it was a bit too much for his wives nerves. Her mother worried to have them go so quickly had latched on to this telling of her nerves as well and ushering all of the young people out to walk among the gardens. Jane and Elizabeth remain with her mother and Lady Bertram. Her mother suggested Tom, his brother and his father might wish to visit with Mr. Bennet. With careful steering she divided the party up to keep them there longer. 

Once they were outside Lydia immediately began to try to persuade Kitty to take off toward town. As this seemed to work on Kitty and they turned to go, Mary tried to quietly discourage this and keep them from leaving. When she failed once again she forgot herself and yelled after them “You can not just leave our guests in the middle of a visit and you have no permission to go, or proper company.” 

Seeming to realize she was making a scene Mary turned to Susan. “I apologize for the scene, but as Fordyce says we must remember how tender a reputation is, how frail and hard to preserve.” Mary colored realizing her behavior had not shown much better. She had eagerly waited to meet Miss Price only to be cast as the shrew her sisters always claimed her to be.

Susan looked at Mary and gave a small embarrassed smile “Don't apologize, I understand completely. My own family in Portsmouth often behaves in a way that is not correct. It never occurred to me until my sister Fanny came to us that it was not my place to correct them. I was just as bad. The way I went about trying to better my family caused more strife than it eased. You need not worry about appearances with me. I will not judge you by them. How could I when I feel we already know each other from what Jane has told me. Besides, are we not to be family of a sort?”

Mary’s dread eased much with this small consolation, but it also gave an idea that was quite novel to her. One that she was not a packaged deal with her family, to be judged by their actions and to be held responsible should they fail. That her actions need not tread further toward propriety in order to even out their lack of it. She composed herself leading Miss Price toward the nicest area of the garden. “Thank you for not holding their actions against me. I always feel like people do. Would you like to see my favorite part of the garden?” As Susan nodded Mary, led them back toward the more natural and wild portion of the property and added “I know it does not reflect on me well to always be chasing them trying to tell them what to do, but I worry about what will happen if they go on.”

Susan walking along with her nodded “I was much the same. Fanny when she came home helped me see better ways, gentler ways. Being at Mansfield even more so. It is about balance. At the end of the day I can only control myself not my siblings so I needed to stop comparing myself to Fanny or allowing myself to feel judged because of the younger's misbehavior. I have found my own place, I will never be as sweet and gentle as Fanny, but then she will never be so bold as me. We are each our own woman. It was hard to accept that I was responsible for only myself. That if I wished to help I must guide them, not correct them. I fear for what my own younger sister Betsy will be like when she is out. She is but five and already most wild. It is hard to see those you care about acting in a way you know to be wrong without taking it on to yourself, feeling it is a reflection of you. It is harsh for us women that we are judged by the actions of those that we have no power over.” Susan quite fearing now that she was the one to have been too bold. 

Mary looked about on the verge of tears. When she spoke quietly “Thank you. Everyone here tells me I am overreacting. That there is no harm in them. That I am the only problem. I guess I thought that if I were completely different from them I would not be judged by their actions. But I guess I am still being judged in comparison to them just in a different way.” 

Susan seemed relieved to realize she had not offended. “There is a danger, but making yourself unhappy does not relieve it. Your attempts to correct them will not sway them to see your point; it only makes you appear ill tempered. Which I see you definitely are not. I was so worried about keeping my family from danger I did not realize how I came across, that people saw me as shrewish. I thought that me overcompensating would somehow balance their behavior, it never did it just made us all seem in the wrong. If it is not too bold or unwanted I can share some of the advice my sister Fanny gave me when she came. Her nature is much gentler than mine, she was much better at getting our family to make changes and to even think it their own idea.” 

After a moment of pause, boldly Mary walked up taking Susan’s arm “I would like that very much Miss Price. Thank you. It is very much wanted and not too bold. We are to be family after all, once Tom and Jane marry. So it is only right that we be each other's confident” She looked hopeful and very much softer in her hope. “And if I am to be honest, it was a dear hope of mine that we might be friends when Jane spoke of you.”

Susan lit up smiling at this declaration showing it had most likely been her hope as well “It is hard when you do not have anyone to talk things through with. Squeezed in the middle the way we are. Fanny left when I was very young. I had only brothers above me who wanted each other’s company over mine, and then brother’s below me who felt the same. I thought when Betsy came there would be a companion for me finally but she is my mother’s darling. So until Fanny came I was really left to make my own way.” Susan confided 

“It is very much the same for me. Lizzy and Jane were always a perfect pair. Kitty enjoyed my company until Lydia was old enough to be more fun for her. My father has always favored Lizzy and Jane, my Mother Lydia. My mother’s favoritism concreted Kitty abandoning me for her. I think she hoped by mirroring Lydia she might gain back my mother’s attention. I spend much of my time with my piano and studies, but with no one to teach me, or to even talk over it it makes it hard to progress with it.” Mary admitted walking around the garden with Susan beside her. 

“Without even a piano or a library I had nothing to focus on to try to better myself. Only to focus on my sewing. As that was always needed with so many brothers. I am really looking forward to the lessons my Uncle has arranged for me.” Susan looked slightly guilty for a second. “Though I must say I am not looking forward to sharing them.” 

Mary let out a small watery laugh “I do wish it was me going to Mansfield with you instead, and do pity you sharing a classroom with Lydia. My feelings were hurt that I was being passed over to go, but as I began to see the true nature of the plan I understood. So I am glad something is being done, but the selfish part of me still wants to go with you. Especially now that I know you.” 

Susan looked around to make sure that no one was around “I probably ought not share this as it was over heard but if all goes well we will be in Town together come the winter. Fanny and Henry are to host and my Uncle to sponsor the most advanced of us girls going to London. It is to be phrased as whoever makes the most progress, but my uncle knows it will be the two of us. But for now we must take advantage of our time together. Let me tell you of Fanny’s tricks. Though you must never tell her I called them tricks. She would be mortified to have them seen as anything other than gentle steering.” With that Susan and Mary walked through to the small woods for quite a while sharing ideas of what a frustrated middle child could do to try keep their family from driving them sparse. 

* * *

The last conversation Edmund had with Miss Crawford before he had left for Hertfordshire was still running through his head days later. He had understood well enough what she said, he just could not believe that was actually the way she saw things. He still saw her as the only woman he had ever known that he could conceive of marrying. There was a point over the winter when he lost hope. When she first went to London and he met her there. However the woman that had returned to Mansfield was everything that he loved about her without the more concerning defects of character. Mary had really grown into her own. It had been all the sweeter a victory for him, because he thought she had changed to suit him. He was still angry if he was honest with himself, angry to realize that she still thought he ought to be the one to change, that he was the one in the wrong. For all of her vast improvement she still could not see that his way of thinking and living was the correct one. If Edmund had correctly taken her hints, She did not even wish to marry him unless he would change. He could not understand her at all right now, which was all the more troubling as he thought that they had finally both been on the same page. 

Edmund had been trying to be all smiles and charms for the new connections of his family. Meeting the Bennets had been very trying. He was quite shocked to be honest. With Jane reminding him so much of their own Fanny he had expected a much different group of people than the Bennets were. He had been privy to the work Sir Thomas and Tom had put in place to remove the youngest to Mansfield but had underestimated the roughness of her manner. Each member of the family was a surprise in their own way. Miss Elizabeth was proving to be a bit of a pleasant one though. Edmund found her to be much like Miss Crawford, only slightly less polished and less harsh without the London attitudes. He had talked with her much over the last couple of days they had been present. It was nice to have someone to speak with on a level with himself. Miss Mary Bennet seemed like a nice but shy girl, right in her opinions as well but not as advanced or intelligent as her elder sister. The most trying of them all had arrived that morning in the form of Mr. Bennet’s heir and cousin Mr. Collins. He and his simpering wife had seen fit to invite themselves into the neighborhood for Jane’s wedding despite never having seen their relations in person before. Edmund did not doubt that his father’s presence and the introduction to him played a part in this sudden family closeness. He had just managed to escape from the man and once again hearing of the fineness of Rosings. 

Walking toward his sister Julia and Miss Bennet from around the corner of the house he heard Miss Bennet say “Someone really ought to rescue you brother from Mr. Collins. I am so sorry you all have to deal with him.” 

Julia responded “It is only right, that they are stuck with each other. They may each lecture the other and see who is enlightened in the end.” Miss Bennet laughed openly, seeming to agree with her. 

As Edmund walked up her open and happy expression closed off to a polite mask of indifference. It was not until he saw them compared that he realized this polite tolerance was all she had treated him with the entirety of their acquaintance. The same dull politeness he had for Mr. Collins and his wife. 

Miss Bennet hearing her mother calling for her spoke “If you'll excuse me Mr. Bertram, Miss Bertram.” She excused herself and walked over to see what her mother's concern was. 

Edmund left alone with his sister turned to her, his anger starting to rise along with his embarrassment “Is that really how you see me?” 

“That is really how everyone sees you. And save your scowl. I am not your dear little Fanny, so desperate for your approval that I will parrot back your opinions. The only difference between you and that horrible man is you have better social graces and are not as awkward. A well spoken judgmental bore is still a judgmental bore.” Julia, seeming to reach her fill of a week of her brother’s thinly veiled disapproval at people she truly liked, was shorter with him than she previously would have been. Getting a rein on her temper she walked away leaving Edmund to stand there by himself. 

Edmund stood alone trying to get his fuming under control. After a quarter hour he realized he needed to go back among the other guests as his father expected of him. Spotting Miss Mary Bennet off to the side of the party he went over to speak with her. “Miss Mary, afternoon.” 

Mary smiled up at him genuinely. “Mr. Bertram, good to see you.”

“You as well. I heard from my father that you may be joining my cousin in Town this Winter. Are you looking forward to it?” Edmund asked making polite conversation

Mary looked reluctant and little uncomfortable at the mention of London. “It would be a great opportunity, but I must admit some reluctance. I have never left Meryton before.”

Edmunds anger slipped a little into conversation, feeling he found a compassionate ear and mind that would understand his view “It is nice to know there are women who see Town for what it is and do not wish to spend their days in Society.” His eyes flicked accusingly at Elizabeth as she talked with his father across the lawn. 

Mary’s social reticence and sincere smile was replaced with a fiery determination at this perceived slight to Elizabeth “My father and myself do not enjoy town but that does not make it a character defect to do so. My aunt is a fine woman and she lives in London, your own father seems to hold her in great esteem. Jane also enjoys her time there, yet your brother is to marry her.”

“Well they are not the wives of clergymen.” Edmund responded shocked, by the fierceness of the response from someone he had seen as demure, into saying more than he meant. 

Mary realizing he was no longer speaking of Elizabeth lost the anger of the tone but none of the firmness. Just as offended on behalf of this unknown woman he was projecting on to her sister “Exactly. I see now you speak of someone specific. So because you wish her to have another's temperament, a temperament that suits you and she does not, she is flawed? I have to ask, if she were to marry someone like your brother would you still see her as flawed? Because it seems her only crime is to not be what you want her to be. I can be reserved and shy, a man who lives a London life may not be a good fit for me, does that make me deficient because I do not suit him?” 

Edmund was not for the first time that week left standing speechless before a woman he had mistakenly thought would agree with him. 

“Well Mr. Bertram, if you are quite done decrying birds for their refusal to swim you must excuse me.” Mary left Edmund on his own once again. 


	18. Every exquisite power

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Words have been hard to find with the other things going on in my world. Sorry for the delay hope you enjoy.

Chapter 18: Every exquisite power

Caroline Bingley had often heard her father lament her gender, not her per se, but if only she had been the son and Charles the daughter. They would have all been happier. Charles, so charming and sweet, so beautiful, so able to win over people, yet so little able to see this power. What a fine daughter he would have made. Drawing Lords the way he did, their family would have made a fine match. He never would have had to worry about going against his nature. Caroline if she had her brother’s power would not be frustrated as she was now. She who was able to discreetly move her money in ways that had turned the £20,000 fortune her father had put directly in her power into almost twice that. All while still supporting her with a nice yearly income. She would have already made their fortune and acquired a respectable estate. Charles was too cautious to take her advice, seeing only the risks involved. He had just enough backbone to prevent her from having her way. What she really needed was a husband that she could use as a front, or one who appreciated her talents. Two very different solutions to her problem. She had hoped the shrewd and cold Darcy would understand the value she had. She underestimated his snobbery. He would lower himself enough to befriend Charles but not enough to taint his precious bloodline.

Caroline was quite jealous of her two new acquaintances. Mrs. Ferrars, while not able to really make use of it, had a husband who always took her opinions to heart. Mrs. Rushworth found her fool of a husband to be tiresome, but Caroline saw him for the puppet he could have been in her hands. Caroline had been slowly working her way into the ladies graces. It wasn’t hard. It was clear that Mrs. Ferrars was tired of always being the one to follow and flatter without anyone to do the same for her. Mrs. Rushworth was much more socially savvy, flattery still worked on her but not to the same degree. It was oddly the slips of Caroline's more acerbic humor that had caught her the lady’s favor.

The work of keeping in their circle was already showing dividends. She had several marks of possibility for her own biddable or calculating husband. The most intriguing possibility was the combination of the biddable Sir Walter Elliot and his very calculating heir. Sir Walter and Mr. Elliot were often with his daughter and her husband’s party having moved into their home when Mr. Elliot's lease was up. Caroline had tried at first to connect to Mr. Elliot and befriend him. He had no interest. It became clear in the time that followed, his only interest was ensuring Sir Walter stayed equally as single. The only time Mr. Elliot would spend his attention on a lady was when she showed interest in Sir Walter. Then and only then would Mr. Elliot shift his attention to her winning the lady over to him and then ignoring and flattering her in a cycle meant to frustrate and drive her off. It was quite brilliant and worked every time.

Caroline was delighted at the challenge and seeing the result of what would happen when a lady paid her attention to Sir Walter and failed to take the bait Mr. Elliot dangled. The game would be a delight to play, a challenge for her mind and way to spend her time, to keep things interesting. It also had two possible ways to win. Mr. Elliot would be the better prize, a young man intelligent and calculating who did not see himself above marrying in the class she was in. Sir Walter was nothing to sneer at, though old he was a good looking fellow that she could lead around like a ladies dog. All it would take is one son to cut Mr. Elliot out of the picture at that point. If she pushed it far enough that Sir Walter would offer for her Mr. Elliot may sweep in to beat him to it. It would save her having to clear Sir Walter’s personal debts, and an equal partner would always be preferred to a tool. 

“Why Miss Bingley you look positively distracted, is there something worrying you, that you wish to share with us.” Mrs. Rushworth asked, settling next to her. Always leading for some type of gossip. 

Well there is no time like the present Caroline thought before dropping her expression to one of disappointment. “I was just considering that I may be running out my welcome with my dear Aunt.” she let a heavy sigh giving Sir Walter who was sitting nearby a sweet smile. “I should probably return to my sister in the country, as little as I wish to leave. Especially having made such wonderful friends.” 

“Oh no, my dear you have yet to do half of the things we have talked of. You have only had time to be of service to your dear Aunt. What of the plays that will not yet begin. You cannot miss them. You also will miss meeting the Wallaces when they finally come from Bath after their child comes.” Sir Walter spoke up, disliking the idea of any of his marry and doting party leaving him. 

Mrs. Ferrars seemed to dread the idea of this as well. If Caroline left she would once again be the bottom of the food chain in their little social group. Having high society friends was great, but so was having someone to follow after you. She seemed to consider for a moment, whispering to her Husband about it. Robert nodded then spoke up. “The country, it just cannot be allowed, we were just about to invite you to stay with us anyway. It will be a bit busy here but we would love to have your company with us.” 

Caroline pretended to be shocked and that this was not her angle all along. “Oh, I would not wish to impose on you. Are you sure? It would be so delightful to stay among you all.” 

“Yes, you must. I am not ready to part with you.” Elizabeth finalized it. “You can move to our place at the beginning of the week if your aunt needs the space.” Even Mrs. Rushworth who was usually somewhat cold and bored seemed relieved. Disliking the idea of losing part of her entourage and the only single lady she had to introduce around with Julia gone. 

“I do not know what I have done to deserve such wonderful friends. Thank you, I would be honored.” Caroline blushed prettily. 

Now she would be constantly available to Sir Walter. To begin to sway him to her, to make clear her preference for him over his younger heir. 

* * *

Watching the woman he thought he loved be married to another man was a surprisingly serene experience for Charles Bingley. He and the others of his party had been invited to the wedding breakfast and to watch Miss Bennet become Mrs. Bertram. He expected to feel more when she smiled up at Tom Bertram and took his hand. Charles was still disappointed, but he was also happy for her. His nature had always been to accept a thing once he couldn’t change it. He also now wondered if he was really in love with her or had just admired her. 

She was still wonderful to him, but he was beginning to see much of what Darcy had spoken of in their incompatibility. Sir Thomas, Bertram’s father, was taking the youngest wild sister home with him. Georgianna had also hinted to him having a hand in getting a governess tutor for the other girls. Charles had never thought about that part of it. He knew if something happened to Mr. Bennet, he would have to financially support the family. He had never stopped to consider that he would also have had to step up and be the Patriarch of the family. He would have had to stand in their father’s place. That was a terrifying idea to him. To manage three wild unmarried girls and the force of nature that would have been his mother in law. He never would have been able to do it. 

This realization was even more alarming to realize. He could not manage Caroline or the Bennet girls, how would he manage his own daughters. He was well old enough to marry in theory, and any daughter of his would not be a girl out and about for over a decade but he would still need to be able to be the father his children needed. He was glad for the issue to be temporarily taken off of the plate for him. He really wasn’t ready yet. Another year or two would not make him an old man, but he hoped it would give him time to find his own footing and stop feeling so unbalanced in his own skin. 

The newlyweds had just been sent off and Charles was gathering himself to find his party. He spotted Georgianna and immediately came to a dead halt on his way to join her. The young lady she was talking to turned to hide her laugh and he saw her clearly. She was the most radiant woman he had ever seen. She was not as classically beautiful or striking as Jane, but she was something different and more beautiful because of it. He could not help but stare. She was blond as he usually was drawn too, but not pale and ethereal as his angels. She was golden, golden hair, golden sun touched skin. Warmth in her laughter and smile. A little wicked gleam to her eye when she whispered into Georgianna’s ear. Like the heathen goddesses of mythology. Charles was just regaining his equilibrium and approaching them as Darcy did as well from behind the glorious sunbeam. 

“Then your brother is a ninny. If he would rather send you into a world unarmed for the sake of appearances his is not as all knowing and wise as you portray him.” The girl responded to something Georgianna had said. 

“Is that so?” Darcy spoke from behind her approaching and taking Georgianna’s arm. Cocking an eyebrow up in enquiry. A smile threatening at the corner of his mouth as he attempted to remain composed and not laugh at the feisty young woman. 

She paled for a moment before steeling herself, head held high and responding. “Absolutely. Our guardians do us no favors by sending us off without the knowledge we need to see to our own affairs, should they be neglected.” 

“I would hope your husbands would see that your interests are looked after when you leave your guardians.” Darcy answered. Smiling at Georgianna, to calm her anxiety as she gripped his arm.

“Hope will not look after my son’s inheritance should something happen to his father. Hope will not make custodians trustworthy. I will never have the power to make the decisions for my husband, but should he prove negligent I should at least have the ability to be aware of my situation.” She responded with a glow coming to her face as she made her point. 

Charles' feet finally managed to catch up with his brain and carry him over to them. Georgianna noticing him realized she had not introduced her conversation companion. “Mr. Bingley, brother. This is Sir Thomas’s niece Miss Susan Price. Miss Price this is my brother Mr. Darcy who I mentioned and the friend we are with Mr. Charles Bingley.”

Charles managed to mutter and stumble through his “how do you do’s” with the grace of a newborn calf, just staring as wide eyed as one as well. Miss Price seemed to take it for shy sweetness rather than a lack of social skills. Darcy rolled his eyes at Charles' reaction. After a few more expected social niceties were exchanged, and the conversation on women and their knowledge was set aside, Susan excused herself to go to her Aunt who seemed to be looking about for her. 

Darcy laughed openly once she was out of range at Charles awestruck staring. “That one gives her opinion quite freely for one who isn’t even out yet.” 

“That is unfair brother, you interrupted a conversation between us ladies who are not formally out and injected yourself.” Georgianna scolded him. 

“So that is Sir Thomas’s younger niece Susan. She is amazing.” Binley managed.

“Isn’t she, I would try to steal her away to be a visitor with me but as she is not out yet, alas I cannot. She was 15 shortly after Easter, but Sir Thomas is planning for her to come out no earlier than winter.” Georgianna sighed at the loss of another possible companion 

“Fifteen….uh bu...well.” Charles looked ashamed of his earlier interest, suddenly very interested in his shoes, a blush spreading across his face. 

Darcy laughed “Well Charles that is definitely one you need not worry about marrying before you have your affairs in order.”

Charles looked up laughing at his own embarrassment and surprised at the lighter and more playful nature of his friend. “Figures Darcy, you finally found out how to joke and it is at my expense.”

* * *

After the wedding and breakfast were over and the guests had all made their way home Colonel Fitzwilliam lingered deciding to walk into the town and handle some business before returning to Netherfield. Darcy would send the carriage there after it took the others home. He could have ridden back with them and then went for a ride to town but he was restless. As he left the edge of the Longbourne property he heard a woman's voice raise “Do not run” then a lower huffed “Why do I bother.” He laughed starling the lady. Miss Lucas looked relieved when she turned and realized it was him. 

She slowed, giving up on the running Miss Bennet and her own younger sister, who were taking off down the lane. “Colonel, you startled me.” 

“Miss Lukas, heading home or toward town?” He inquired

“Toward town, someone must keep an eye on the wild animals.” She responded

“Then might I escort you, it would be a boon to me to have such a lovely lady upon my arm.” he teased offering his arm and cocking an eyebrow at her in a way that he thought made him look roguish. 

She laughed and took his arm. “You should save those honeyed words for the bees about town.” brushing away the complement as if he had not meant it.

He had spent a fair amount of time talking with Miss Lukas in an attempt to figure out the weird dance that Miss Elizabeth Bennet and his cousin seemed to be doing around each other. She was an intelligent and witty woman. But she seemed as likely to flirt and dance as the older widows. If she had a large fortune he might have taken her for a woman who wished to keep her independence and slighted all suitors. The more he saw her the more it seemed that it was not a lack of interest but an assumption that attention was paid to her in poliet pity. She was not entirely wrong. Most of the eligible gentlemen in the neighborhood were significantly younger than her, right on the cusp of manhood. They paid her the attention they should for her place in the town but no more. The officers that just left suffered from a similar problem either young and playful or older but already married. That did not explain why she seemed to have no interest in him or Darcy. Not even in the beginning before it became clear that Darcy was infatuated with her friend. He could not bring himself to marry someone with no fortune but she did not know that. 

Curiosity finally got the better of his manners and he just blurted it out. “All eligible women seem to fawn over Darcy, and when they can not get him to move on to me. A poor honorific being better than nothing.”

She looked a little startled at the random declaration but responded with a friendly and sympathetic tone “I can see where that would get old.”

“So why did you not do so?” He found himself asking staring at her like she was a strange creature

“What fawn over Darcy? you said it yourself, all ELIGIBLE women. Not all single, I am not exactly in the race these days and I doubt I was ever in that league.” She stated this as if it was a fact, unembarrassed or saddened by it. As if she had said the sky was clear that day and the trees were in leaf. 

Fitzwilliam could but stare for the next few paces silenced by her response. He could almost see someone clear headed like her viewing the cold and snobby Darcy as not interested. That did not explain the way she spoke as if she considered herself out of the game for all men. He could not believe it. She did not at first draw the eye when standing amongst the Bennet ladies, but nor did any but a handful of the women he had met in the entirety of the country. Being plain compared to them was like being poor for having less than Darcy. Charlotte was beautiful in a simple and enduring way, it did not draw your eye at first but once you noticed her you could not miss it. From that moment on, it was all that could be seen. Her wit and cutting humor was engaging but still playful without harming any. She was also one of the kindness and most intelligent women he had the pleasure of conversing with in a long time. Sensible and willing to argue with him. Most of the elder unmarried Army men he knew would have fought for her attention. Hell he would have been tempted to join the fray if he had the independence to do so. God forbid the fracas if she had ever been among the naval captains he knew. One of them might run off with her thrown over their shoulder. He had to remind himself regularly not to do so himself. 

He finally shook off his surprise to ask her “What has happened to give you that idea?” 

“Life has.” She once again gave a simple response as if it should be obvious to all. 

“I cannot even begin to understand what you could mean.” Fitzwilliam was thrown, it was as if they were each staring at his coat and he knew it to be red and she was positive it was blue. “Because these young pups would rather dance with giggling girls? That is hardly to do with you.” 

“They had little wish to dance with me when I was a giggling girl. Well most of them.” her expression finally showed some emotion other than cold factual belief. 

“We are friends you know. This cryptic dance is not necessary. I will not think you forward or inappropriate should you tell me what happened to make you think this way.” 

“It was not one thing, but ten years of evidence.” She tried to evade. 

“And it is a very long walk, and I find my leg cramping, a war wound you know. Makes me terribly slow.” He gave her his best devious grin slowing his pace to a crawl and pulling her with him. 

Charlotte took a deep breath and told him the history of what it had been like to come of age in Merryton. Of how when she was first out at 18 she had rejected an older man's offer, believing herself in love with another man and he with her. The elder man was a widower in his thirties with two sons already. A friend of her fathers. The younger man the curate that was holding the living at Merryton. They had spent the summer together and he had claimed to be in love with her, yet had not gotten around to making an offer. The second Jane Bennett came out, he turned his attention to her instead. That winter Jane went to London to the Gardiners, and when her mother talked of someone making her an offer in London he realized Jane had no interest in him and was just polite. By then he was too embarrassed to return to Charlotte. Though she was ashamed to admit she probably would have still said yes. Her mother never forgave her for refusing her father's friend and lamented how she would always be a burden on her poor brother when they died. There had never been any other men about their neighborhood who ever paid her more than perfunctory notice or danced with her other than to ask about the Bennet’s. 

Charlotte brought an end to her tale, seeming to have very little upset in it “Lessons were learned, I will never pass up the reasonable offer of a home for the delusion of love. I also understand that any match I would make would be one of utility as that first offer. I am not the type of girl that draws the passion of men. So did that clear it up for you. I have no wish to waste my time throwing my affections after men who would never return them. I would rather talk and be friends with them and at least get to enjoy the conversation.” 

Fitzwilliam was torn between relief and upset at realizing they were approaching town and would have to depart from each other. Relief because he feared if he spoke now he would say something horrible, and ungentlemanly. He wanted to rage, to beat this foolish, heartless, fickle, supposed man of god. To rage at her careless parents that made her feel unwanted and punished her for not throwing herself away on the first old fart to look her way. His upset with the journey being over was that he had no time to gather his wits and convince her of how wrong she was. He must say something as they were reaching the cross roads where he must depart. “That clears up nothing but the lack of character of the men of this region. I am glad now to know that my friend will only lease property here. If these are to be the men of his acquaintance. Shame you never got to spend time in London where people are not such simple minded fools.” he smirked “Well at least some of them aren’t.” 

“Well that is not really in the cards, but thank you for listening and the company. Good day Colonel.” She walked away from him without even looking back. 

By gods, sometimes life really was a kick in the teeth. Was this his payback for mocking Darcy when he managed to find himself overrun by a simple country girl. He calmed himself the best he could and tried to finish up his business before the carriage would come for him. 


	19. Delicacy of his conscience

Chapter 19: Delicacy of his conscience 

Darcy had never liked manipulative people. He understood the art of delicacy and wishing to lead people without strong-arming them. To go past a soft and delicate suggestion placed here and there, was against his beliefs. To change the way people thought through tricks was below him. In this moment though he wished he knew the way of it. Talking to Fitzwilliam of his future often felt like rushing headlong into a brick wall. It was just as painful and as fruitful as doing so. 

He had never really worried too much about Fitzwilliam's' claim that he wished to be independent and only marry if his wife would provide that independence. Darcy understood the wish to be free of his Uncle's demands, the wish to not have to worry for a family should he be killed. A career in the military ran that risk. But after Fitzwilliam had failed to take the bait of several women of middling fortune Darcy doubted it was as simple as knowing his family would be safe without him. From that point on Darcy just assumed the real issue was having no wish to marry at all yet. Using the excuse of fortune to remain untethered. The way his cousin seemed to gravitate to Miss Lucas, to speak of her and watch her, while refusing to show her any attention in his usual flirtatious manner concerned Darcy. Fitzwilliam never paid attention to one woman for long, flirting with all but never for long enough to raise notice. Brushing off their merits when the men discussed any woman specifically. To now be so complementary in private with Darcy, but so formal and polite with Miss Lucas in person left Darcy confused.

Fitzwilliam seemed generally interested but did not budge on needing to marry for money. So it was not a ruse to keep his father off his back but a plan he truly held. He truly aimed to find a true heiress, not someone modest with a dowry to take care of her if he was lost. Darcy could not believe Fitzwilliam was still so fixated on showing up his father and his demands that he would pass up his own happiness. Darcy began to doubt his own observations. Maybe Fitzwilliam was not that interested in the lady, perhaps he respected her as one would another man. He could not be the man to lead his cousin into the happiness he thought awaited him he would at least find the truth. If he couldn’t get him to act he could at least get him to react. Maybe give something away. Fitzwilliam would not be steered into doing what you wanted but he was always one to lose his cool head and spew ugly truths when provoked. 

“I have been thinking about what you said about Miss Lucas earlier. How sad it is that her family did not spend more time in town and that the neighborhood here is so limited. What if we invited one of your military friends that is looking for a wife.” Darcy started. Pausing when Fitzwilliam raised an eyebrow and smirked at him. “I don’t mean to match make like an old woman, just let him come for a fortnight, to test your theory. Maybe that wonderful fellow you brought with you to Huntsford a few years ago, the one with the Spanish look to him. The tall athletic one that likes to hunt and has a weird enjoyment of figures and accounting. Remember you got him to clear that mess in the books at Roseings. Has he married yet? Didn’t he get some thumbnail of an estate from an Uncle?” 

Fitzwilliam immediately turned a dull white color like old oat mash. “Bardon, Major Bardon. He has a small estate up north.” the words were clipped coming out cold with a venom to them.

“I am sure Bingley would love to have such a fellow here, we can pick his brain about the cost benefit tables we're compiling in regards to prioritizing repairs. Miss Lucas has an interest there, she knows the neighborhood well and knows what repairs need addressed soon.” Darcy prodded all polite helpfulness in tone. Pretending to not notice Fitzwilliam's shift in mood. On any other subject Fitzwilliam would have already spotted the falseness and called him out for pulling his leg. 

“ABSOLUTELY NOT. I mean, that is I don’t think he could get away. Besides he is all wrong for Charlotte. She would hate dealing with some absent minded sporting type.” 

“Whatever do you mean, MISS LUCAS” putting the emphasis on her proper name to show he did catch Fitzwilliam’s slip of her Christian name. “is a country girl. It would seem natural to her.”

“It is just a bad idea, stop meddling with her life. Worse than an old matron.”

“Well there is your other friend, the widowed one with the small boy. She mentioned a situation like that.” Darcy offered still all feigned helpfulness

”No she deserves better than that.” this last was more quiet and pained, Fitzwilliam shrinking in on himself.

“I see, so you do have feelings for her.” Darcy had expected a little slip of anger or jealousy. Not this bold open desperation. Things were more serious than he had assumed.

“What I feel does not matter. I know I should do as you suggest but I cannot bear it. Just the idea of sitting aside and watching Bardon charm her with his doe eyed puppy nature is like a knife to the gut.” 

“So why not just accept the money your father offers and marry her yourself.” Darcy asked coming back to the matter that they had never agreed on

“I cannot.” Fitzwilliam bit back teeth clenched. 

“So which is it man. Either you want to be a feckless courtier of London. Or you want to be a rough and tumble Military man with no connection. Make up your mind. If you want to live the lifestyle your father and brother do, then take their money and live it. Hell buy some worn down little estate like this and drive yourself to distraction making it something. If you don’t want their money then live the life your colleagues do and be happy with it. A woman like Miss Lucas would do you fine in either life. It is only this idea you have in your head of staying in your lifestyle without actually belonging to it. Rich younger sons of that sphere take their fathers seed money. Especially when they never had to have an education paid for as most do. Colonels who make it only by the sweat of their brow are happy with more modest lifestyles. They marry women that make them happy, they run in less expensive circles, they don’t need a life at court.” 

“So having no wish to leave the sphere I was born to I should just leech off of my family.” 

“You do realize your family is no longer destitute right? Your father’s investments have made your family one of the most comfortable around.” Darcy could never understand the divide between Fitzwilliam and his father and the way they danced around each other. 

“Yes, and wealthy lords do not stay that way, dividing their fortune every generation. I should be adding to the work he did, not taking away from it.” Fitzwilliam returned. “He could make his own fortune, I will do no less.”

“You can add to your family in ways other than marrying some vapid heiress. Besides there are very few women with large fortunes who would be comfortable in your sphere. Most are from families who are newly raised, the reasonable ones are uncomfortable in the presence of the peerage. The ones that aren't are all manipulators like Binley’s sisters.”

“Wouldn’t the former also apply to Miss Lucas.” Fitzwilliam pointed out.

“I doubt it, she seems a respectable and reasonable girl, who was presented at court and grew up as pillar of her neighborhood. She would be able to spot where she belonged in precedence and never attempt to put herself above. She is also self respecting enough and has a sharp tongue when pushed. She would never allow someone to try to push her below her place either.” Darcy assured Fitzwilliam. He had understood the cool distance Miss Lucas projected because it was similar to what he projected. They may have different reasons for closing themselves off but he recognized it for the defense it was, it made him take the time to really study her and see her character. 

“I cannot do it, I cannot take his money after I threw it in his face and left the way I did. Everything I have done will have been for naught then.” Fitzwilliam resolved. Digging in and setting his mind against Darcy’s arguments. 

“Then I guess you need to decide whether she is worth living the life you chose when you walked out, or if you wish to pass her by for proving your father wrong. But if it is the latter, know that she will marry someone else eventually. 

Fitzwilliam took that thought with a look as though he had been kicked in the gut. “I am through trying to justify myself to you. Leave it alone Darcy.” 

“Fine, I will not mention it again. Know I only want you to be happy.” Darcy would leave it alone now, any attempt to sway Fitzwilliam would just have him digging his heels in and not budging. Hopefully what he had said today would slowly sink in. That Fitzwilliam would stop letting the angry prideful actions of his sixteen year old self dictate his whole life. 

* * *

The ride to Somersetshire had been a condition of William Price getting the leave to visit family. It didn’t hurt that he was going to visit the Crawfords. He had correspondence for Henry from Admiral Crawford as well. He was to bring some sensitive material to Admiral Croft who had retired here in Somersetshire and place it only in his hand with a confirmation word to prove he did. It really wasn’t an imposition in terms of distance. Though he did worry about time, he had arrived this morning to find that the Admiral had gone to meet and escort a friend of his back to Kellynch hall. His wife had assured him he would return tomorrow if nothing went awry. Though the tone she took when she said this did not inspire confidence. Planning to stay at an inn in the village Mrs. Croft had demanded he stay with her instead. Knowing better than to argue anything with the wife of a commanding officer he had obliged. Just as he was to oblige accompanying her to the next village over to pay respects upon her neighbors the Musgroves. 

“Now William I must confess I have ulterior motives for dragging you along with me today.” Mrs. Croft stated once they were settled in her small gig. “Well actually two. The first is that I am rubbish at driving this thing. But the second is far more important.” Mrs. Croft handed him the reins as she said this.

William’s stomach dropped, not another matchmaking lady with a favorite to press on him. He could never seem to get them to understand he had no fortune to marry upon. “And that is Ma’am?” 

“The Musgroves youngest son has just returned, unsuccessfully I might add, from the school he had been attending. He has never taken to academia and wanted to join the navy. Having already lost one son to her majesty's service, his parents were naturally against it. Now though a little old for it, he is pushing again for it. The admiral has been working on it. I was hoping a younger voice may help as well if you would be able to give them perspective from a young sailor.” 

Relieved it was not to do with a lady William readily agreed. “Certainly, I would be glad to help. I have my own experiences as well as two younger brothers in the service as well.”

“Their older son served under my brother and from the sounds of it was a flighty and unfocused young man. He never managed to progress prior to his demise. Young Harry while not one for the school room does seem a bright and hard working boy. He would do much better than his brother did.'' This conversation took them nearly to Uppercross and left William little time to worry about inadvertently making things worse for young Harry while still being honest.

The meeting with the Musgroves was going better than William could expect. They were lively good natured people who seemed to love company. He had stuck to his less exciting stories and let them understand the process and ranks that a young man would pass through in his enlistment. Their departed son must have been a truly negligent correspondent for them to not already know this. The most intelligent of the questions seemed to come from the Musgrove's daughter Louisa, her brother had quite an advocate in her. 

“So what sort of leave will Harry expect to have the first few years.” Louisa asked, looking to address 

“Very little sadly with the state of things as they are now, but after the first few years significantly more. Even more so if he works hard and does things to earn him reward time.” Before he could expand and talk about the types of things that would matter most to commanders there was a loud crash as a young hunting dog rushed through the room upending a table and sending objects flying from behind Louisa. 

After the initial shock passed and a laugh went about the room he noticed that while not hurt Miss Musgrove had gone silent, her eyes wide and glazed in fright and her breathing erratic. While he was surprised at the behavior from a young lady, it was very familiar in the older soldiers who had suffered shell shock. William acted quickly swiping up a trinket that had landed at his feet. He knelt at her knee placing it in her clenching hands. 

“Miss Louisa, look at me.” Wrapping his hands around hers and the object to further gain her attention. When she seemed to at least partially hear him he asked her “what do you feel, what is in your hand. Is it smooth? Is it rough.” 

“Smooth” came out in a distracted whisper. 

“Good good. It is cold, or warm. Big or small tell me about it.” William continued to try to get her to come back to the room at hand and leave the remembered place where she had felt such fear.

“It is warm. Unlike your hands. It is the cat I bought mama in the village years ago with my pocket money.” Louisa managed her breath starting to slow some. 

“Great, what can you smell right now.” He asked “Tell me about the smell in the room.”

“The dog, it is wet. So is your coat, the wool smells strong when wet. The fire somewhat. Mama’s lavender water.” Lousia listed off. 

“Can you still taste your tea? What flavor has it left?” 

“Orange peel. Cook always puts a little orange in tea when we have guests. She thinks it makes them think of the expensive market day when the imports come in.”

William laughed. “A wise and cunning woman. I was myself quite impressed. Final one, you hear my voice, but what do you see now that you are looking at this room again?” 

Louisa looked around, appearing to decide on something. She turned back to him and paused “Your eyes are a little green.” blurting out her first thought instead of what she had originally been about to say. 

William laughed deeply smiling wide. “It is all that seaweed I end up eating when on long voyages. Welcome back Miss Louisa.” He released her hands retaking his chair and picking up his tea as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. 

Mrs. Musgrove who was previously speechless seemed to find her words. “How did you… what did…” 

Blushing William realized he had been quite forward in his reflex to stop the panic. Mrs. Croft came to his rescue. “Remembered panic, or day battle dreams as we call it aboard ship. It is the office of whoever is closest and not at demand to ground the person until it passes.” 

Mrs. Musgrove started to sniffle a little in her words. “We had no idea what was happening or how to help when it had happened. Thank you Mr. Price, you have no idea what a gift you have just given us.”

Louisa’s voice was beginning to steady out “So that this is not uncommon? The doctors had no idea what was wrong.” 

“Land doctors, humph.” Mrs. Croft answered. 

“Yes, Miss Louisa. When bad things have happened to you sometimes being reminded of those things makes your body think you are back there and it needs to prepare you to fight back or run away. I am sorry that something awful enough to make you want to run or fight happened to you.” William explained. 

“My daughter had a nasty fall and a blow to the head.” Mrs. Musgrove offered. 

“It was not the fall.” Louisa’s response was barely audible. Staring at the object still in her hands she continued. “It was being trapped, trapped within me. I could hear everyone but I could not move or speak up. I thought I would be buried within myself like a prisoner forever.” 

“Ah, that would do it to anyone. The pain drugs they gave me for a break in my hand, mixed with tying me down to reset a dislocated shoulder did much the same to me. It was a truly awful feeling to be so trapped and unable to speak up. I could still see and was still terrified.” William offered. 

Mrs. Croft seeing how fatigued Louisa looked after her panic, offered “Well we have stayed longer is polite and should be back to meet the Admiral when he arrives. Thank you for the tea ladies.”

Good-byes were said and an invite back for dinner the next night was accepted and William helped Mrs. Croft into her gig.

* * *

It was probably best that Elizabeth's favorite hobby was to walk instead of to ride. With the way her thoughts and remembered conversations were running through her head of late she would have ended up in a ditch or have ridden half way to London in her absent mindedness. Her friendship with Georgianna and knowing Colonel Fitzwilliam had completely up rooted her firmly held beliefs. It had started with the revealing of Mr. Wickham’s character, and what an awful week that had been. The conversation with her father alone and been humiliating and frustrating. He had laughed at her and seemed little likely to believe her. It wasn’t until after Colonel Forester came and Lydia was not to go to Brighton that her father took her aside and apologized for not believing her. He did not ever truly explain what he had been told, but was clear Wickham had been involved. It had been sobering for them both to learn they were ill judges of people. Her father no longer seemed to find such sport in folly. This had made things more difficult at home as he began, rather too late, to correct her mother and sisters. Now that Lydia was gone and Mrs. Carter had arrived to help teach Mary and Kitty, Lizzie had more time that was quiet to reflect.

Georgianna had completely upset her views as well. She had come to see through the girl's eyes that Mr. Darcy was actually a good man. She was still rather ashamed of herself for viewing him as a villain and Wickham as a saint, based on who had flattered her vs who brushed her aside. A perspective outside of her own little village circle had also been nice. Georgianna was far from worldly in experience but she had been well educated and had a wide and diverse circle of acquaintances. Having her around had been enlightening. It was also rewarding to coax her into being a little bolder and more social. She did take a little bit of pride in adding some rough edges to the polish of the young lady, just as Georgianna seemed to be polishing some of hers off. Sometimes a girl needed a little bit of a bad influence to make sure she was not too well behaved. 

Elizabeth had spent some time working with Mrs. Carter as well. At first she had told herself she was just doing so to make a point to her sisters that they were not above such tutelage. It soon became apparent that her education had more holes in it that she would have liked. Devoting some of her time to Mary and the piano had improved her skill a little but her relationship with Mary a lot. Elizabeth could especially kiss the young Miss Price for whatever she had said to Mary when she was here. Their frenzied correspondence seemed to improve Mary more than any governess ever could. Mary was just another example of how badly Elizabeth had judged people. Finding that she did not even know the depth of her own sister had been the most awful of her revelations. 

Knowing the Darcy family had shaken her life in a way she really needed but was ashamed to know she had. She would miss Georgianna something awful when she left for a tour with her Aunt and Uncle next week. Another part of her was a little relieved to have some time to regain her emotional equilibrium away from them. It was a little funny, they would be here by her home while she traveled up north including a stop in their district. 

It appeared that one did not need to speak of the devil for him to appear, but merely to think of him. Walking along the narrow path nearly distracted as she had been of late was Mr. Darcy. Hoping to avoid a collision with him she spoke up to catch his attention. “Good Afternoon.” 

He startled back to the present looking ahead of him on the narrow track. “Miss Elizabeth, how do you do? I am surprised to see you. Georgianna left a while ago to call on you. I had thought that it was a planned visit.” 

“Oh dear, it wasn’t but I should head back that way and rescue her from Mama.” Elizabeth confided smiling. 

He laughed, still a shocking noise to hear from him in her opinion “She will no doubt wait for you so it would be best. She will want to see you before we depart. I have been called home on an issue at Pemberley. We really have been gone too long.” he turned with her taking the path that would lead back to Longbourn

“I would not want to miss the chance to say goodbye. I was going to have to the end of the week to do so before I travel with my Aunt and Uncle Gardiner.” 

“Oh, do you return with them to town?” he enquired

“No, we were to go to the Lake district, but with a work issue for uncle and Jane’s wedding we will not have the time. We are to go up North view some areas, including Lambton where my Aunt is from. Mr. Bingley will be sad to see you go.”

Darcy seemed startled to hear that she would be in Derbyshire when he returned home. “I, um, well Fitzwilliam will stay a week longer to finish up some work with Bingley. Then he will have a chance to try things on his own. I am only an express away should he need advice.” He hesitated before continuing. “I hope you will have time to pay us a visit when you come through Derbyshire. It would be wonderful to have you there. I mean Georgianna would love to show you our home.” he colored a little at this last statement. 

“I will have to consult with my Aunt and Uncle. It is their trip after all.” Elizabeth deferred accepting. 

Arriving at Longbourn as they spoke Elizabeth gestured. “Did you wish to come in, I see Georgianna is still here” tilting her head toward the blond head visible in the window. 

“I was actually coming to take my leave from your father.” He gestured in the opposite direction at the other end of the house. “I hope to see you in Derbyshire. Miss Elizabeth.” He gave her a little bow as a servant arrived to showed him toward Mr. Bennet’s book room. 


	20. A continual source of disquiet

Chapter 20: A continual source of disquiet 

Susan was trying to maintain her composure. She was no longer in Portsmouth. She was at Mansfield Park. Susan just kept reminding herself of this, because if she had ever had to deal with someone the likes of Lydia Bennet in Portsmouth she would have sharpened her tongue on her by now. The Susan of two years ago would have pushed the girl into a gross puddle by now as well. All the girl did was complain and storm around. Susan was sick to death of hearing Lydia bemoan her lost trip to Brighton and how much better it would have been. The girl had no notion of the expense that was being laid down to ensure they had a chance. Girls from their standing and income did not get music masters and teachers like Mrs. Clayton. Mrs. Clayton was not even usually a teacher or governess but a young lady's companion. Her most recently married charge had been a member of the L-- family, and a peer.

It was the same complaints when they continued to be shown estate management. The girl did not understand the lessons she was brushing off and ignoring would never come again. No other man would take the time to show them this. All Lydia cared about was dancing and men, but she did nothing to make herself appealing to any man of sense. She thought her looks were all that it would take. Which was fine by Susan, she could care less if the girl blew her chances, but she could never do so quietly. She always had to interrupt Susan’s lessons or study. There was never a moment of peace. She had managed fifteen minutes of quiet reading and was just waiting for the inevitable explosion from Lydia from the other side of the room. 

The silence lasted only a few more minutes “Ugg! I cannot take it any longer. The silence is awful. How can you stand to be here after the excitement of Portsmouth.” Lydia whined. 

Susan had enough, maybe it was lack of sleep last night, or the rainy weather for the last few days limiting exercise, but the damn burst. “How can I stand it here? In the wonderful home my Uncle has made for his family and kindly invited us into? In comparison to Portsmouth? Yes how awful to be here with well spoken and kind relatives. With an Uncle who cares for my future instead of a Father that cares only for his own amusements, the rest of us be damned. To be taken out in Society and guided by Mrs. Clayton who cares what happens to me. Instead of in Portsmouth with a mother who cares only for her own concerns. Who cannot be bothered to check her husband or children no matter how ridiculous they are being. No matter what scorn they bring down on the family. To be here where my Uncle amply provides for me, instead of in Portsmouth where we have such limited resources that someone must go without. Portsmouth where I have such a demanding younger sister, so beloved by my mother, that it ensures she is never the one to go without. Everyone else must suffer so she can always have her own way. Well I guess that is one thing I have not escaped even here.”

“How dare you.” Lydia huffed 

“How dare I what? Tell you the truth. Someone should have. It is not my place but no one else seems to be able to get it through your skull.” Susan slammed her book closed. “Be glad you are not in Portsmouth. The girls there would have chewed you up and spit you back out. They make your pathetic attempts at snide cruelty look like a kitten swinging its claws. You would be ignored and ridiculed as the silly and pathetic country girl you are. You bring nothing to the table but being more full figured at fifteen than most girls are until they are older. You are only considered a beauty because you live somewhere where there are few ladies. Your sister's draw men's attention with their actual beauty and grace and you appeal only by being the low hanging fruit of the same tree. Easy to grasp with no real effort. In Brighton, or Portsmouth, most certainly in London you will be just another plain country girl. One with no fortune, no talents, and certainly no sense. No one is going to give you money, nothing will make you more beautiful. But here you are being given a chance few receive. You are being offered an education so far above your station you can not even grasp its value. Yet all you care about is missing the chance to dance and flirt with a bunch of rowdy officers who cannot even afford to marry you. If that is what you want, so be it, but could you at least learn to shut up and let me have my chance?” 

Susan stormed from the room, crying by this point. She needed to find somewhere to breathe and calm down. She had left Lydia wide eyed and crying herself. It was not lady-like and it was not kind to have shouted at her in such a way. Susan knew she would have to make her apologize and explain to Mrs. Clayton her misstep, but she was not ready for that yet. She needed to escape somewhere for a while. If only she could have ridden today, then maybe she would have kept her cool. She would have to retreat to her room if there was any hope of composing herself in private. Maybe she would write to Mary Bennet of what had happened. If anyone understood her frustration it would be Mary. She once again wished it could have been Mary to come with her to Mansfield. How did one family produce such different girls, she would never understand

* * *

Fredrick Wentworth had been in Lyme for several weeks. He had returned to Kellynch with his sister and the Admiral for a while. He thought he would have some peace there for a while. He was wrong. He had finally had to confess to Sophie what had happened and what had changed. It was the only way to explain the difference in his attitudes toward the Musgroves and why he no longer visited as regularly. Her reactions had put a storm to shame. Her anger at him had still been more tolerable than her smug satisfaction in hearing that Anne had married someone else. Fredrick had finally given up having his mistake constantly rubbed in his face to visit with Harville. At least he was quite in his belief that Fredrick got what he deserved. Wentworth had meant to get his own lodgings somewhere, but it was just too comfortable staying in Benwick’s old accommodations and being with the Harvilles. All their time with Benwick also made them undemanding hosts. Fredrick could spend all the time he liked reading or staring forlornly out to sea and cataloging his mistakes when he wished to think of it. The children also made a wonderful distraction for the times he did not wish to think about his mistakes. 

Benwick and his new family had come to Lyme this week as well. Fredrick had not made the wedding. He had been called to London to speak to some of his superiors in the Navy. His leave was for however long he wished but contingent on the war not raking back up. He still needed to answer to their demands when on land. It was amazing to see James so happy. Fredrick had been concerned at first, worried at how young the new Mrs. Benwick was. She was a very sweet girl, and extremely well read but being married to a sailor could be trying. It was a relief to hear her family would stay with them. It would protect them, and give Marianne a stable home should she be unable to travel with Benwick when he returned to sea this coming winter. Elinor, would see them through in his absence. That woman had more sense and savvy than most of the men he knew. Until someone snatched her up she would be around to head the house. Though if Benwick went back to active duty it would not take long for Elinor to find someone. She was just the type to draw men of the service. Beautiful, sweet, but can keep her head in a storm and hold her own against all that would come. 

He had spent several evenings at Benwick's rented house enjoying the company there. Listening to Mrs. Benwick’s wonderful playing and catching up with Benwick. It gave him something other than his own mistakes to think of on his long solitary rambles along the shore. Today seemed to give him even more of a distraction as Miss Dashwood was sitting among a group of rocks with a lap desk propped against another. Painting in what looked like watercolors. He walked up behind her looking to see what she was creating. He had not had much chance to speak with her on his visits.

“You have a way of capturing the light that most can never manage. I see your eye is just as keen in your art as it is at seeing through the sad foibles of men.” Not quite managing to keep the stern expression through the jab at himself. Falling back into the patterns of banter they had held at Barton.

Elinor looked up at him responding “The light after a storm is never as clear to see through as the folly of some men.” A smirk coming out at the corner of her mouth soon turned to a small quiet laugh. “How have you been Captain?” 

“Truthfully?” He asked coming around to sit on the rocks as well

Taking her brush back up she spoke while seeming to pay more attention to her painting “It would be a bit strange for us to take up the habit of polite lies with each other at this point.”

He laughed. Leaning back on the rocks tilting his face to the small peak of sun coming through “True. Utterly miserable, and pathetically self-pitying to be honest.”

“So much the same as before.” She raised an eyebrow at him watching his expression.

“Pretty much.” Fredrick laughed “How has been your stay with the newlyweds?”

“Disgustingly adorable. They practically glow with happiness. It is hard not to be enveloped by it. You should spend more time with them. Their overwhelming joy will drown your self imposed pout in no time.” She pretended to ignore him for the painting.

“Sounds like a grand plan. Harville’s domestic glory is far too subtle and unassuming to distract. The rest of your family? What is Margaret's latest obsession?” He asked

“They are well, mother is happy when Marianne is happy. And Volcanos, she has moved past the discovery of different rock layers to the explosive eruptions of liquid rock and the islands they can create. Brandon gave her a wonderful piece of volcano glass before we departed.” 

“Ah the Brandon’s.” He quirked an eyebrow at her. “And how do they fair?” He asked eyes closed and face turned to the sun

“Do you really wish to know?” She paused, sitting down her brush and giving him her full attention.

“Oddly, I do. One of the few high points of time wallowing in my own self pity has been putting aside my anger at anyone but myself. Mrs. Brandon was one of the greatest friends I had the pleasure of meeting, and the Colonel seemed like someone I would have liked had he not snatched up the prize that I was dumb enough to throw aside. I honestly wish them all happiness. Her being with someone superior to me has become an odd consolation. It is not a true loss to lose out to a superior man. Like missing out on a promotion to a more deserving fellow.” He shrugged looking back at Elinor and smiling.

“They are also disgustingly radiant in their happiness. They were wonderful people but there was always something holding them back, a darkness, a hollow empty bit you could just barely notice. That is gone now, sometimes it is as shocking as staring right at the sun. They have each become so much more with each other. They have not returned to Dartford yet, but Anne writes of looking forward to finally being mistress in her own right, to be credited for the work she does. She will be amazing at it from what I have seen.” Her voice took on a wistful quality like she was telling a fairy tale. 

“I am glad for them. She will be amazing. She will be a true pillar for the entire neighborhood. Will you return to Barton when you leave here or is she to steal you away?” He asked

“I have an open invite to come, but it will depend on how the family is settled. I would not wish to leave my family if they need me. Anne and Brandon will be much at Barton if I cannot go to them.” She picked her brush back up, returning to her painting.

He chuckled once more “Always so responsible, Miss Dashwood. I wonder what will happen when they need you no longer. Will you be lost for purpose, or be one of our grand eccentrics and run off to the islands to paint rare birds or discover savage tribes unknown.” 

“We shall just have to wait and see.” She laughed and focused on her painting as he leaned back on the rocks enjoying the sun and her quiet companionship. 

They stayed there as the sun lowered from its pinnacle. Him thinking and her painting. Him not noticing the red, gold and black paints coming out of her case, to include a figure sprawled among the rocks in her landscape.

* * *

Caroline Bingley was infuriated. Men were such pathetic creatures. Her plan to get Mr. Elliot's attentions was succeeding. So far she had yet to return them. She had not been convinced yet that his attentions were really focused on her. She had wanted to be sure he crossed a line of no return before she allowed him to see her returned regard. Now she was quite glad she had not. She had left the house to take a solitary walk with only her footman around the park as she was prone to do at least one day a week. It paid for the effort in the amount of gossip she could gleam without her more noticeable friends. It was shortly into her walk that Miss Anne Sharock a woman slightly below her social circle she keep a polite if distant friendship with had stopped her to tell her that a Mrs. Clay formerly the companion of Miss Elliot and been set up in a house leased by Mr. Elliot, her Mr. Elliot.

“So I heard from Miss Elington, who heard from Miss Darsmoore and well I just could not believe it. I had to tell you. I wanted to tell you when I found out. But poor thing with you staying with them there was a chance HE would be around to hear when I visited. I just could not believe it. So I am so glad to catch you today. Because as I told Miss Elington, it has been just obvious that Mr. Elliot is paying you attentions, that he is going to offer for you. It would be expected. So it is one thing to find a man who is widowed as he was is keeping a woman under his protection but another for one without an heir who is seeking to marry a fine lady such as yourself. Imagine the scandal. Especially if she is so bold in her protections because she is already with child. Imagine it, a natural child older than his rightful heir of a wife. Like he was some errant school boy instead of a grown man who knows better. And a woman who was of standing a widow herself. And a friend to his family. The daughter of the steward of the property he is to inherent. It is just awful.” Miss Anne finally stopped to catch her breath. Diving back in before Caroline could even respond. “So I was telling Miss Darsmoore he must be a cad and it is a good thing you did not seem interested in him at all. I was telling her, because she just remarked on it last week that he seemed just mad for you but you did not seem to want to give him the time of day. So I told her you must have known you were to good for the likes of him from knowing Mrs. Ferrars and being such a good friend to her. Then Miss Darsmoore said her Aunt was telling her he did the same thing to her when she was Miss Elliot and I just could not believe it and she said it was completely true that he paid all attentions to her only to run off and marry that low woman, god rest her soul. So I said that must completely explain why you did never pay him a bit of attention. I told her then you were too fine a lady.” 

Caroline had plenty of time during this rabbling diatribe to compose herself. She opted to place a knowing and sheepish smile on her face. “Miss Sharock. I thank you so much for thinking of me and showing such a friends concern for my well being. While I have never had any reason to doubt the character of Mr. Elliot nor heard of such rumor's about him and his cousin. Who I must tell you has never had eyes for anyone but her wonderful husband. I can not speak of what Mr. Elliot does or does not do. I have never really saw him as anything but a cousin to my dear dear friend. You know how these things go. Men in such situations can become almost brotherly to you. I never even considered him in such a way, nor noticed any marked attention to myself in order to feel slighted. You know how people love to gossip and draw matches where there are none. But thank you you dear girl for worrying about me. I assure you I am not slighted or put out.” 

“Oh, I thought as much. I just would hate for you to be caught unaware. Oh dear, I best get back to my cousin, I am supposed to be standing as her chaperone on this walk.” Miss Sherock ran off with as much frantic energy as she spoke. 

Caroline kept the happy, indulgent little smile on her face and went about her walk. Too many could have over heard the girls loud telling. It would not due for her to stomp off in a fit. She would have to act as if it was no concern of hers whether Mr. Elliot was keeping a woman under his protection while still seeking a wife. Out in the open like some common born sailor. Well it appears he was not as smart an socially savvy as she had given him credit for. If that was he only means of snatching Miss Clay out from under Sir Walters nose he was uncreative. Looks like the game would now be focused on plan B. The biddable man. Sad that he had such debts, but alas a title was a title. Men had to buy theirs sometimes. Why should she be any different. She wondered how Elizabeth and Sir Walter would take the news. 


	21. A discovery took place

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long dely. I was writing this in my down time between clients at work. I was put on a different shift and at a different location. Then for a curve ball my department head decided we were no longer permitted to have our personal computers at work. So I have been writing this longhand and then having to try to find time to type it out for publishing. The drive to do this wasn't really helped lately when the upteenth person who I know irl refused to read this. So thank you so much for your comments. When no one I know will even read a single chapter hearing that you all love it and even reread it has been the only drive that keeps it going. It means the world to me.

##  Chapter 21: A discovery took place

It was like a strange case of deja vu. Mary Crawford was struck by the man sitting in her sister's drawing room. It was nothing in their appearance that brought Edmund to mind when meeting Mr. Ferrars. Mr. Edward Ferrars was nothing to draw notice, his looks just the type that would make the eyes pass over him in a crowd. Whereas Mr. Bertram was tall and striking, immediately drawing the eye. It was something deeper than that, their mannerisms and way of speaking, even their thoughts, were closer than those of brothers. The only real difference was that Mr. Ferrars manners were more polished. He was not so demanding of attention, or set in his opinions it seemed. He listened more. It was as if someone took Mr. Bertram and put him to a polishing wheel, grinding off his rough edges but along with them his striking notice

Mrs. Grant seemed to be much won over by his warmth, and his willingness to continue his visit with the ladies when finding Doctor Grant not at home for the introduction. “Will you be settling long at Southerton Parish, or is it just a stepping stone in your career?” Mrs Grant asked of him. 

“I hope to settle there. I am not really cut out for the higher offices of the Church. That is I would serve if asked to. But I find a season here or there to be enough of London. I always preferred the country. The company is more to the speed that I prefer, if you understand. I would like to be able to have a personal, deeper relationship with my parishioners. I could never imagine myself as interesting enough to command the pulpits in London or our other larger cities. Though I do enjoy the culture very much.” Edward responded finally managing to relax a little in their company.

Mrs Grant gave Mary a loaded look she very much did not like. Her sister was already plotting it seemed, turning back to Edward “So if the opportunity arose you would take an appointment in the city?” 

“Um, well that would depend. Now when I am just starting out I feel that would be a bit much. But later if opportunities presented, I would feel I owed it to my family to take the promotion. I mean if I had one that is.” Blushing a little at how quickly his mind still envisioned Miss Dashwood in such a position. After having spent too much time making decisions in her pursuit. 

Mrs. Grant taking this embarrassment to be more to being in the company of a pretty young woman was quite gleeful. Mary knew she would have to sort her sister out quickly once he left. Changing the subject she asked. “So do you have a connection to the Rushworths? Is that what brought you to Southerton.” It was a little forward to ask how one comes across a living, but if he was to live in the small society of the country Mary figured he better get used to nosey people and impertinent questions.

Ferrars managed to look a little embarrassed at this. “Well not directly. My younger brother and his new wife are good friends of the Rushworths. Connections were made through them.” 

Ah, so a purchased living. Good enough for a younger son. Though Mary was thrown having only heard of two Ferrars sons in town. When she heard Ferrars was taking the living at Southerton she assumed it was some relation of the snobbish former Miss Elliot she had to deal with when visiting Maria in the spring. The airs that Elizabeth Ferrars had put on in Mary’s presence, had led her to believe that her husband was the eldest. But if this Mr. Ferrars was saying younger brother there must be a third. Well she was already being impertinent. “Younger brother, I must have misunderstood, I thought the Mr. Ferrars I encountered at the Rushworths in town to be the eldest, do you have another brother?” 

Edward looked positively mortified at this. “There was no mistake in terms of there being only two sons. Just my brother and I, though we share a sister who is older than us both. Robert is however my younger brother. Though much more suited to what being the eldest would have entailed.”

Oh. Well that was quite interesting. Shocking to be honest. Mary would have to think on that later. “Such as it sometimes is.” Mary said soothingly. “I was always quite glad to have only one brother. Should there have been another he would have been expected to go into the navy, whether it suited him or not. It is good that you were able to choose your own vocation despite your birth order.” 

“Quite so.” Edward responded, smiling at her for letting him off the hook and demanding further explanation. 

After some more small talk Mr. Ferrars made his excuses of needing to pay his respects at the park with time to return to Southerton in the light. Once he was shown out Mrs. Grant returned to the drawing room a wicked smile upon her face. 

“Do not even think it sister.” Mary responded exhausted at the mere thought of what her sister was plotting. 

“So he is not as attractive as Mr. Bertram, he is much more flexible to a lady's wishes. But still a man of class and sense. An intelligent man who is interesting but will let his wife have say is a rarity in our class.” Mrs. Grant stated 

Mary cringed at the thought. “No sister, I have learned my lesson. A more accommodating imitation of Mr. Bertram is not what I want. I understand what you are saying, but good enough will not make me happy. If I needed to marry I would most definitely consider him. I am independent though. I would like a family of my own but if not I will be a fabulous Aunt to Fanny and Henry’s brood. I do not wish to settle for a man who I have to drive like a mule team. I may be asking too much, but I want a man who is his own man. Who has his own ambitions to be and do something without me having to force him. To want that while finding a man who will respect that I am my own person and have my own wants and will not bow to his every whim, well it may be too much to ask, but it is what I am asking. No demand. I will not settle for a more accommodating copy. I want him to want me not something I am not, I also want to want him for himself not what I could shape him into.” 

Mrs. Grant sighed. “I very much want that for you as well, I always thought you deserved the best. Though I fear it may be a rare commodity indeed you seek. It also saddens me to admit that you cannot remain here with me and likely find it. It would have been very nice to have you settled so close to me.” 

Taking her sisters hand and giving a quick squeeze Mary responded “I would have liked that as well. Though there is one thing we can at least agree on.”

“What is that?” Mrs. Grant asked 

Mary picking up her tea to hide the smirk growing on her face replied. “Henry should be very glad Mr. Ferrars did not come to the neighborhood before he snagged Fanny.” 

“Like he could compete with our Henry.” Mrs. Grant’s response however did not sound so confident as she had hoped. 

Mary just laughed. Yes, Henry would have had a run for his money if a more receptive quiet clergyman had been about to notice his Fanny. He was lucky that he found her first in general. Fanny was truly one in a million and Henry would have had quite a fight for her if there had been more men of sense about. Mary hoped he continued to understand and appreciate her value once the shine of winning her wore off. 

* * *

The trip with the Gardiners had been liberating. Elizabeth had always loved the merriment of her family home. The noise and the bustle of it all. At least she thought she had. Time with her Aunt and Uncle alone was a balm to a weariness she had not known she suffered from. She had never taken notice of how much of her time and energy was spent helping ease conflict and steer the strong personalities of her family toward peace. The earliest leg of the trip had left Elizabeth bored, unsure what to do with herself. Her book had been finished in the first few days of travel. She had company anytime she wished, both her Aunt and Uncle made for wonderful and intelligent conversation. Just as engaging as her father, but much more willing to set aside their book or work to spend time with her. 

Elizabeth had time to herself on her rambles at home, but had never really been able to pursue independent endeavors at home, there were always other demands on her time. To read a book she could hide in her fathers library with him. That offer of sanctuary did not extend to other activities though. Her Aunt had always stood as a fine example of a lady, for Elizbeth and Jane to follow. This trip was reinforcing those lessons. Elizabeth was able to devote quiet time on more traditionally feminine pursuits. Ones her father would have judged her as silly for, and her mother would have seen her as doing nothing and available to help her should she have tried.

Keeping a journal and maintaining meaningful correspondence two such focuses. Spending time each day sorting and analyzing her thoughts left her feeling like the person she had been in the spring was a stranger to her. Each day she seemed to be learning more of herself, like a reintroduction to a friend who had long been away. Elizabeth was finding her correspondence even more showing of how much everything and everyone was changing. She was a little ashamed, though how much of this change had truly been her misunderstanding those she cared for. 

The changes in Jane were amazing to Elizabeth. Jane had blossomed under Tom’s love, even more so in her role as a wife. The plight of their future must have been a greater weight on her sister than Elizabeth had realized. Jane was like a different woman, it hurt Elizabeth to realize she had underestimated Jane. Hearing about Jane and Tom’s work for Mansfield even while on their wedding trip, and their plans for when they returned gave Elizabeth hope for her own future. That she may too make a match with an intelligent gentleman who respected her input and wanted her help as a partner in their lives.

Mary and Kitty, or Catherine as she had begun to sign her letters, were like the work of strangers as well. Her sisters were growing up in leaps and bounds. For the first time she was able to converse with them as one adult to another. They were finally her peers and it took being away to notice the change. Elizabeth was sure their lessons were helping them grow, but more so helping them show their growth to others.

Charlotte’s letters were the most changed, with the least having changed in her. Elizabeth had never realized how much of Charlotte’s sadness and hurt was brushed aside by a wish not to be a burden on those around her. Time away, with only an empty page to fill had not allowed Charlotte to deflect as much. Her honesty showed Elizabeth how she had failed as a friend. Elizabeth promised herself she would do better in the future. It was the same pitfall that Elizabeth had fallen into over and over again. Ascribing her own perspective and assumptions onto those around her. She hoped when she returned to Hertfordshire she could bridge that gap. To learn to disagree with Charlotte without disregarding her view and perspective because it was different than her own. 

Her thoughts when she considered how she misjudged so many were in the forefront of her mind today especially. Their party had arrived in Lampton yesterday morning and by the afternoon Georgianna had paid a visit to welcome them. A note had followed this morning inviting Elizabeth and her Aunt to return the visit and remain for tea. Elizabeth knew she had been two harsh in her assessment of Mr. Darcy. Her friendship with Georgianna had shown her that much. She still often saw two very different men, and it was hard put to reconcile them. The changes the last few weeks had brought over herself and those she knew had her wondering what Mr. Darcy she would find here in Derbyshire. It was this worry that had her extending her morning ramble through when she should have been having breakfast with her Aunt. 

Careful to keep Lampton in view she sought a small rise at the edge of the sightline from town. She had been standing atop it for several minutes scanning the view from it when the silence was broken. 

“You seek the best views in an area with a near supernatural skill. Tell me Miss Bennet do the trees themselves confess such secrets.” Elizabeth’s thoughts had been so absorbed she did not see the object of them approach from below. 

“You must whisper to the same spirits, to find your feet along the same paths.” Elizabeth turned smiling to greet Darcy. Her breath caught in her chest at the sight of him and it was all she could do to keep the surprise from showing on her face.

Her theory on the two different Darcy’s was thrown into sharp light this morning. She would not have recognized the man before her had she only known him from that first assembly in Merryton. Gone was the stiff harsh lines. It was as if the burst of warmth and happiness he had shown once he was in Georgianna’s presence had bloomed. The tension was gone from his form. His countenance had an open friendliness that Elizabeth couldn’t reconcile at all with the sneer of the stony cold man that had been introduced to her. Seeing him here in Derbyshire, it was like summer had come to his form. Melting away the man she thought she knew.

His manner of dress was more relaxed as well. He stood before her in the sturdy work clothes of a country gentleman. They were still elegant, clearly expensive in their materials and tailoring. But he looked more like the gentleman of her own neighborhood than a stiff London elite. 

“Not at all Miss Eliz...Miss Bennet '' he paused for a second seeming to have forgotten for a moment her elevation at Jane’s marriage. Though a quick flash of a frown, a crease between his brows showed he disliked losing the ability to say her name. “This land was more guarded with her secrets in my presence. I had to learn her secrets the hard way over time. I hope she has warmed to me though. I only found this particular haunt, this last year. Though you seem to be making a better use of it than my solitary brooding. He gestured toward the direction of the village, where her eyes had been before his approach. 

“Yes, the town, the people it is like a dance. From up here everything looks so fluid, so planned. Every piece just where it must be.” Elizabeth answered the employed question of how she was putting the prospective to use. 

He nodded “So different than my views of London from up high. London always reminded me of the time I saw a hornets nest fall as a branch broke. Wild frenzied movement, there must have been a pattern to it, but none that I could see. 

Elizabeth took in his proud and affectionate gaze as he took in the town. “It is clear which you prefer. And from here, I cannot help but agree.” she paused for a moment. “It suits you.”

He seemed thrown by her approval, but pleased. “My wanderings were toward Lampton, if you’re headed that way I can offer you an arm. Darcy gestured with his crooked arm out. Elizabeth laughed. “Certainly, we are at the inn, if you are headed that way.”

“What a coincidence. I was headed there as well. I heard from a reliable source that a certain Mr. Gardiner would possibly be available for me to abscond with as a fishing partner. As said source was stealing away his wife and niece.” Darcy delivered with mock solemnity. 

Elizabeth laughed openly, all reserve forgotten. “We may never get him back, if you offer him such educements.” They walked along in silence for a while, enjoying the comfortable welcome of the shady path. Elizabeth reflecting on the many Darcys realized she could not give his home and Georgianna all the credit. He had come back to Netherfield the second time different, even before Georgianna’s arrival. 

“What changed?” The question had slipped from her mouth without her really deciding to ask it.

“Excuse me?” Darcy asked, caught off guard by the unprompted question. 

As it was already out Elizabeth decided she might as well continue. “Something happened from the time you first left Netherfield until you came back. I know I was prejudiced against you because of…” Elizabeth paused her embarrassment showing, remembering he would not know she had heard his dismissal of her. “Well I was. But there was also a change in you as well. When you came back you were not so harsh.”

Darcy seemed to almost roll the words aver in his mouth, looking to get a feel for them. To know how to explain. “You have never had the pleasure of meeting my Aunt, Lady Catherine, have you?” He paused allowing her a small shake of the head and a confused look. “ She is an interesting character to put it kindly. Which few would. Well to be blunt, she is what happened. Though it was Fitzwilliam that helped me put it into perspective. He made me realize how harshly I was judging others. That I was not only judging people, but for actions that were completely out of their control. It occurred to me while there that had my parents passed when I was younger, while my other Uncle was not in a position to take us, Georgianna and I would have passed into the care of Lady Catherine. I would not have wished to be judged by her actions and opinions. I also had the um..” Darcy paused here seeming to weigh his words again.

He seemed to be questioning if he should continue, seeing Elizabeth attentively waiting for him to do so he continued “Pleasure of encountering your cousin while I was there. He spoke rather openly of your family and the situation they would find themselves in should your father pass. What it would mean for you and your sisters should this happen before you are settled in life. I was ashamed to realize I had not thought of that in regards to your mother’s actions. I took her meddling to be mercenary, like the social climbers I have dealt with in London. Once I took the time to look at things from her perspective, I saw that her actions came from a place of fear and love for her daughters. A well timed snide comment from my Aunt reminded me that even in my superior situation your mother was not pushing you towards me. In fact she was rather disgusted with my presence. It showed that she would not have meddled had she thought Jane would not be happy.”

Elizabeth thought he might have been giving her mother a little too much credit, her mothers focus was for the whole family to be happy and would have sacrificed one of them to make the rest safe. But he didn’t need to have that corrected “I am glad you were brought to a better understanding of us. Your return gave us the chance to see that we were too harsh in our view of you as well. I did not take the time to view things from your perspective as I should have. You were a stranger to us and clearly outside of your comfort zone. It also had not occurred to me the way you and your cousin are often treated as meat thrown to hungry dogs by mothers, until Charlotte pointed it out.” 

Darcy smiled as they were approaching the inn at last. “I am glad we got the chance to start again. I have enjoyed getting to know you for real this time. Enjoy your day with Georgie.” He bowed slightly to her. 

“Thank you, try not to be too alarmed if my uncle tried to move in after seeing your lake.” Elizabeth stated turning to head inside. Everyone seemed to be changing, but as much as it left her struggling to keep up, Elizabeth could not help but be glad as the changes all seemed to be for the better.

* * *

Eliza had always known her life as Mrs. Owens was too good to be true. Eliza Owens was happy. She had left behind most of her anger and hatred with the name Beth. The girl that was foolish enough to think she would be Beth Willoughby. To her guardian Brandon she had always been Eliza, or Elizabeth. So when she went off to school she wanted to be known as Beth. Beth had sounded so much more mature to her. Just another foolish idea she had learned to set aside to become Eliza Owens. Eliza Owens the “widow” and Jamie’s mother. 

The life she had made in this village was the happiest she had ever been. There were days she wished she could forget the lie, to truly believe that the Owens were her family. That she had been loved by the wonderful man they spoke of. The son her new parents had to teach her about should anyone ask. It was horrible to come to know such a wonderful man after he was gone, gone before she could ever know him. What a wonderful thing it would have been to have met James Owens that day in Bath instead of John Willoughby. She might have still been here, her and Jamie, but she would not wake everyday fearing it was the day everything fell apart. 

Eliza had imagined them being caught out in a thousand different ways. She had never imagined it would come in the form of a young man with the kindest and bluest eyes she had ever seen. The hand that Mrs. Norris had played in it was less surprising. Mrs. Norris had always been a risk, but her well meaning, busy meddling was endearing to Eliza. Not remembering her own mother, and then dealing with the cold authoritarian nature of school matrons made her crave the meddling. Mrs. Owens had taken her in as a daughter, but Mrs. Norris next door was like the well intentioned but overbearing fairy godmother from a storybook. 

Mrs. Norris for all her care loved to gossip and had a great acquaintance. As such the Owens knew she presented a danger to their story, but never had the heart to exclude her for it. The danger when it did come was not malicious, but in her telling her visiting nephew all about the poor young widow next door. John Price had come to Mansfield to visit and celebrate his promotion to lieutenant. 

It was such a farfetched chance, that the young sailor had happened to be part of the crew that had brought supplies and reinforcements to the army unit that James Owens would die fighting with. That James Owens often unable to sleep on the voyage would and would talk to the young Midshipman Price who had pulled the night watch. That the same midshipman would be ashore when Owens was brought into camp with the wound that would see him sent home. The midshipman who was with him when he did not make it through the voyage back home. 

When John Price heard from his Aunt that James Owens parents were in the Village near Mansfield of course he had to visit them. His curiosity made the visit even more important to him when his Aunt mentioned James’s widow and son. He knew James Owen had died having never married, he did not even have a sweetheart at home in mind. John Price however was smart enough to not say as much in front of his Aunt. Or to even mention how well he knew James when his Aunt first introduced them after Church that week.

Eliza had listened to the kind young man’s story with growing trepidation. Mr and Mrs. Owens were tearful and grateful in the memory of losing their son, in knowing that they were his last thought. They had not yet remembered Eliza and the danger this young man was to them. But it was there in John Price’s kind but confused and curious glances. 

When his visit was ending he turned to the elder Mrs. Owens “I have never visited Mansfield before, I am unsure of the surrounding areas. Perhaps if Mrs. Owens” a small gesture of his head toward Eliza “might be willing to walk a small way with me and give me an overview. 

Eliza’s stomach dropped. The Owens still reeling from hearing of James’s last moments seemed to think nothing of it. Mrs. Owens encouraged the young people out the door. Eliza obligated, wishing to save the Owens anymore pain today. She was the one at fault for their lie, she would take the consequences. She was concerned that he wanted to speak with her alone. Knowing her secret put her in his power. Now after Willoughby and finally hearing the true story of her mother, having seen what some do with that power she did not like the feeling. 

They had barely hit the wider lane when he stopped, turning to her so fast Eliza’s had fell from the arm he had offered at the door. “Do they know?” he asked, tensed his voice was low and clipped. 

“Excuse me?” Eliza asked. Not expecting this particular question. Her voice small, shoulders curled in, expecting some sort of verbal blow. 

“Do they know? Mr. and Mrs. Owens. Did you present yourself to them as their son’s widow or are they a part of this knowingly? I was with James Owens when he was dying. I asked about his family. About a wife, he didn’t even have a particular girl he was interested in. So again. Do. They. Know.” John’s voice was truly harsh for the first time. 

Eliza was shaking by this point. Unused to such confrontation. A part of her was also relieved, the other shoe had dropped finally. Dread would no longer hover just out of sight. “They know” she raised her face. Lifting her gaze to his face. “They chose this, but do not be angry at them. This was my mistake, they were just being kind.” 

John seemed to deflate relief rushing through him with an exhaled breath. The sunny kindness coming back to his face like the sun emerging from the clouds. “Well that is all I need to know.” John picked up Eliza’s hand placing it back on his arm, turning them to continue the walk. “So long as they chose you and Jamie that is their business. Now would you like to hear about your son’s namesake and what he was like when he was away from home and hearth?” John asked this last wiggling his eyebrows in a suggestive manner. 

A laugh just this side of a sob burst from Eliza. This was completely opposite the reaction she expected to have from someone finding out the truth. “I would like that very much, I only ever hear of him young.” 

The walk was short but delightful. It was wonderful for Eliza to have someone to talk to nearer her age. Lieutenant Price told her quite a few wonderful and slightly scandalous stories of James Owen before returning her to the Owens gate.


End file.
